Child discipline - A parent's right

Toddler for sale?

''Stop that. Sit here. Do not touch that''.

Just getting in from work and I already have to dish out instructions. Phew!!! Thank goodness for nurseries and daycares, I would have been forced to put this toddler up for sale till he is at least 18.


I thought wrong

Parenthood is truly a blessing, it helps you discover your talents. Talents in screaming - a trait you never knew you had.

I thought being 2-years old was terrible. Well welcome 3. My dearest toddler (bless him) has just clocked 3 and at this stage I will not consider him adorable. He is sweet and all but I can see myself pulling my hair apart.

Bath-time is tsunami time. Feeding time is make-over time for me, with cereal as my new mascara. Going for outings is a no-no for me. I try to avoid it if I can. And bed-time? Oh the headache. There I was trying to sing sweet lullabies and I found myself sleeping off instead. Every misbehavior comes with a smile that makes it difficult to administer any kind of punishment.

I thought raising a child would be easy but I thought wrong. You learn all sorts from books, tv programs but can you really implement them? Some, Yes. But most, NO. Experience is really the best teacher and every child comes with something new.


Child discipline- a parents' right

I have a hard time disciplining my child, he just has this cute face that makes you melt like jelly. The small punishments come to play once in a while like, no cartoon network for you today, no ice-creams or chocolates, go to the naughty corner for a time out (are you kidding me? I wouldn't mind one myself) What does that leave me? Punishment with the rod? Indeed, spare the rod and spoil the child- this is a mother who cried during her child's circumcision.

I have come to understand that to groom responsible children and adults who will become the leaders of tomorrow, we have to start disciplining now. It is a parents' right and duty to instill discipline, they need to know the Yes', No's and why.

After much advice from concerned and caring parents, I have learnt a few tips to keep me sane when it comes to discipling my child.

1. Stay Calm and avoid screaming- easier said than done. But it is workable. I am told this makes the child learn and understand self-control.

2. Avoid physical punishment- I hear this has not really done much good. (How about pinching and pulling the ear?). Spanking may only seem to work initially but eventually makes the child more aggressive and resentful. This will manifest when the child is much older (yes, yes I am a witness!!!)

3. Withhold privileges - I haven't done so badly, I guess I can score myself a 95 in that department. I try to alternate this punishment with others so that it does not lose its effectiveness over time. E.g Go to bed now, no desert for you today, you are not attending your friends party, no toys for 2 days

4. Acknowledge and reward good behavior- When it comes to children, you have to open the door of praise. Good boy, thank you for that..blah.. blah..Do not focus on negatives. Praise the child when he is doing good (not excessively though). As an African child, praising was not one of my good spot but I am learning.

5. Set rules and boundaries - Follow through with any rule set and assign consequences for breaking each of them. This is the hardest for me because my 3 year old does not understand boundaries yet and it only takes me through the cycle again- screaming, withholding privileges and rewarding good behavior. It just never ends

6. NO: a necessary tool for disciplining - Don't give in to your child's tantrum (as I write - he is rolling on the floor for some chocolate and I have conveniently buried myself in this hub). As much as I love my children, I need to make them understand that the world will not always give us what we want. If you are the type that says yes easily and a lot, try stalling to give a response or say 'maybe'. In a child's dictionary maybe may as well be no.

These are just a few tips. Bottom line, you know your child best and are in a better position to know what will work.

P.S- I better go attend to the chocolate-crying-lil-angel before he rips my fridge apart.


More by this Author


Comments 10 comments

izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

great advice. I have written on this too as I saw you one my comment section and I think we are on the same page about discipline. I always had ideas of how i would raise a kid or teenager, never did I realize how much having a toddler would require discipline as well. I am so lucky with my daughter who hates time outs so they work easy and are effective. God help me if she ever outgrows them.


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 6 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it. Author

Thanks for your comment. Lucky for you your daughter is one of a few. I think discipline should start from the early years. When a child does something naughty and laughs afterwards you can tell he/she knows what he has just done. I think at that point discipline should come in. a lot of parents would say 'oh he is still too young and doesnt know what he is doing'. This new age of children definitely know what they are doing.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

I completely agree that many parents are hesitant to discipline their kids at age 3 or 4. I started with my daughter at age 2. It was a process of knowing what was on purpose and not. I started making very general rules like no hitting, whining, kicking, then as she got older the rules increased accordingly. These kids know much more than we give them credit for. Almost any book about kids will agree on that much.


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 6 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it. Author

i guess i will just keep an eye on my lil one especially when he gives me that cute angelic face. lol. its going to be hard but i can try


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

Wonderful hub - and I love the photos! It is a challenge and I truly believe we are not meant to be alone with them. No, we need some wonderful people to serve as some kind of buffer. But yes, discipline, please!

Such a heartfelt hub! Lovely and rated up. Great to meet you too!Yay!


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 6 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it. Author

Thanks BkCreative for stopping by. Nice to meet you too


PaperNotes profile image

PaperNotes 6 years ago

Oh my, I know exactly how you feel and think. Parenthood/Motherhood is really the most challenging profession!In fact it is a profession that we are not permitted to resign from until our final days.

My daughter is now 7 and you can say she already has a mind of her own. She always say yes to me but sometimes she does the 'No'. Can't blame her, after all she's not a robot I can completely control. At times I tell her that if she will again disobey me, she better look for a new mom then she'll start crying...I explain to her that what I want her to do is the best for her.


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 6 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it. Author

thanks for stopping by papernotes. It really is a profession you cant resign from, neither can you 'sell' them off. lol. We just have to do our bit and wait patiently to reap the fruit of our labour.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Being a Mother is the most difficult job there is. I admire your philosophy in raising your sweet child - yes, we really have to provide a basis of reality even in face of their cuteness. Enjoy this wonderful time with them. They grow up so fast. . . lovely hub.


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 6 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it. Author

Thanks for stopping by pegCole17. Hope to see you around again soon

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working