what age should you tell a child about his biological father

The fact that his biological father wants court action to claim his child make the issue less complicated. It is important that the child knows his or her biological father and since you are being forced into making that decision at this early age, I suggest you do it and enjoy the relief. Now the important thing is that the child be surrounded by love and that you understand what makes a father a father.

The child will attach itself to the father that shows the most loving-kindness. So you have done your part and the urgency now lies on your husband to be loving father.

At the young age of 3 yrs. old the child will not understand the difference between biological or otherwise but it will understanding and believe to be his father the one with whom you sleep at nights, who teaches the child how to ride the bicycle and the one with whom he spends quality time. Sister, when the devil gives you a lemon, don't be disheartened, but make lemonade.

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chuckd7138 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

This a subject that is very personal to me. My mother (and other family members) led me to believe that my first step-father (who legally adopted me) was my biological father. I did not find out the truth until I was 20 years old, and I found out from a high school friend who turned out to be my first cousin (her father and my biological father were brothers). When I confronted my mother about it, she stated, rather flatly, that she intended to never tell me. ... In the end, I think the truth should come out when the child is around 15 or 16 years of age. Moreover, based on my case and others I have come in contact with, I do not think that step-parent should ever adopt his/her spouses child, especially without the consultation with and consent of the child.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. The more we talk about it, the more aware some people can be when vetting future step-parents, especially in regard to the adoption by that step-parent.

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