Why Strict Parents are the Best Parents


Strict Parents Love Their Children by Establishing Rules and Boundaries

Many successful people credit their academic and socioeconomic success to strict and loving parents. My definition of a strict parent is a parent who applies clear and consistent rules for their children to follow in order for them to reach their highest human potential. They provide consistent discipline for their children and look out for their children's future. Furthermore they have the best interests of their children as their primary concern. They also have clear demarcations as to the role of parents and children.

Strict parents believe in taking time to talk and teach their children. They believe that they are the primary educators, not teachers, television, and other siblings. They assert that parenting is a role to be taken seriously.

Strict parents follow their own drummers. They do not care how other parents raise their children. Their mantra is," I do not care how Mr. Jones raises his child, this is my house and I will raise you the proper way." They maintain that children need consistent discipline in order for them to grow into productive adults. They do not mind that sometimes their children do not like them or even hate them because of the rules that are applied. They contend that they are not parents to be liked by their children but for their children to become successful adults.

Strict parents censor the amount of time their children watch television or engage in superfluous activities as they believe that these activities are not as important as intellectual activities. A former co-worker of mine had parents who did not permit her as a child to participate in Halloween parties because they believed those activities to be unintellectual. Her parents also frowned on her socializing with other children which they deemed a waste of time. When she came home from school, she had to study her lessons and afterwards, she had to read a total of 2 books per week. She is now a highly successful lawyer.

As a child and teenager, her parents forbade her to play in the streets or to go to the movies with friends unless an adult was present. Intellectual activities was emphasized in her home. Reading was stressed in her home. Her parents had clear rules and regulations. She was not allowed to date while she lived in her parents' domicile. Her parents believed that teenage dating led to teenage pregnancy which was prevalent in the neighborhood they lived in.

During my former co-worker's teenage years, her parents kept her preoccupied by assigning her 4 books per week to read and writing book reports on those books. Her parents even prohibited her from participating in extracurricular actitivities in high school and college because they believed that those activities were superfluous.

Strict parents are strong and loving parents as they put their children's interests foremost. They would sacrifice anything for their children's betterment and success. Many adult children of strict parents appreciate the guidance and supervision they received while living under their parents' roof. It is better to have a strict parent than a permissive parent.

I had a friend who had permissive parents who permitted him do whatever he wanted to do. He seldom attended school. He dated at thirteen, and subsequently dropped out of school. His mother stated that since he was a teenager, he was adult enough to do anything he wanted to do. He subsequently ended up living in poverty with a series of dead end jobs and his two daughters did not fare any better, both having children out of wedlock as very young teens.

Children often complain about having strict parents but strict parents offer clear guidelines for them to adhere to. The main goals of strict parents are to have highly successful children who are happy with their lives. Strict parents want their children's lives to be materially, educationally, and economically better than their lives have been.

My beloved father was strict and loving. Although my mother was strict, she was not as strict as my father was. He contended that socialization and extracurricular activities should be within strict parameters. He believed that intellectual pursuits were paramount and buit character. He further asserted that I should read three books weekly and magazines such as Time and Newsweek. He contended that fashion magazines were an utter waste of time.

My father let me socialize with other children within limited parameters. He believed that I could not learn from other children and my time would be better spent on more constructive activities. I spent much of my time reading books, newspapers, and/or other intellectual, educational, and cultural hobbies. I attended parties and other activities within severe limitations while I was attending high school and college. Education was foremost and uppermost in my father's mind. He staunchly believed that parties and other forms of socialization can be freely indulged in after I have completed my education.

I was teased by my friends and relatives about having a strict father. However, I am very thankful for this. As a result of my father's guidance, I was kept on the straight and narrow path. I was not a delinquent, did not have a teenage pregnancy, and I was exposed to varied cultural activities such as museums, plays, and dancing school. As a result of my childrearing, I am very appreciative of the better things of life and have no patience for the mundane aspects of life.

If a child has strict parents, he/she is surely blessed. Strict parents care and love their children and only want the very best for them. Furthermore, a child knows why he/she stands with a strict parent. Strict parents are not afraid to be parents and the world need more strict parents.

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Comments 24 comments

Laura 5 years ago

I'm fourteen years old and my mother is not at all strict, and yet I have not been in a relationship, I have a genius IQ, achieve top in school, have a social life, people at school respect me, have been offered jobs due to extra curricular activities I have participated in and I am most certainly not pregnant. My mother has always stood by the notion that as a child we are still human and can still make choices, if we make the wrong choice we learn from this and gain experience, if in a strict house there would have been no choice to begin with thus nothing learnt for later in life.

Finally your article forgot to mention all the children of strict parents who do go off the wall and rebel, get pregnant and other thing in spite of there parents being so strict

So the world does not need more strict parents, the world needs more parents who are not afraid to let there children grow into people they want to become and make there own mistakes along the way.

julia 5 years ago

" I do not care how Mr. Jones raises his child, this is my house and I will raise you the proper way."

This is a sign of selfishness....Sounds more like my way or the highway. I am not that thing. Certainly I am not the best human ever lived. I am way better than people who think that their way is better though.

akuigla profile image

akuigla 5 years ago

I agree with you that world does need more strict parents.

As a doctor I can testify that almost all problems in human life came from kids not being properly educated and raised.

Also,Ive seen teen pregnancy because parents let their kids decide what is good for them.

I believe that one doesn't have to try everything to learn from own mistake.

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

To akuigla: I agree wholeheartedly. Strict parents set rules and proper guidelines. There is a difference between being strict and authoritarian. Strict parents are loving and patient, providing guidelines for their children to follow to bring out the best in them. However, strict parents are always open for discussions from their children.

Many people today do not know the difference between being strict and authoritarian. Strict parents guide their children financially and educationally so they can be successful adults. My father was strict with me. I am a highly educated woman who had no teenage pregnancies and other problems. I am quite liberal in outlook. Thank you again for responding and commenting on my hub.

Mj 5 years ago

I believe setting standards and having children follow them is the only way to raise a child. Allowing them to male their own decisions and do what they want just means the parent is lazy! It's easier not to be strict than to be strict!

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danajconnelly 5 years ago from Family and Parenting

I have just "Hubbed" about this very subject. You make excellent points and I find myself at times strict with my own child. But as is similar with the conditioning of our bodies, conditioning our children with a degree of flexibility is an important consideration.

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

To danajconnelly: You have made some excellent points here. Parents should always combine flexibility with strictness in order to raise balanced children. Parents who are TOO strict damage their children in more ways than one!

factsknowing profile image

factsknowing 4 years ago from Jos

You have said the correct thing. A child understands a weak parent and would always take his/her instructions for granted. Strictness is a good idea with the need to raise a responsible child.

david 4 years ago

Let me put it this way. You have the right to raise any cruel way you wish. But I don't have to follow your steps. The world causes us enough problems. We don't need more at home. At home we need safety and peace of mind. If I am wrong. So be it. I am only accountable to God. Not people.

Strict parents are good. My ass.

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Starmom41 4 years ago

Mine weren't in either category.

They had high expectations and sensible rules, but it was based on showing by example rather than strictness.

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you, starmom41. By strict, I mean establishing consistent rules and parameters which a child should follow; however within such parameters, there is a degree of laxity. Many people mistake strictness for authoritarian parenting which is totally harmful for children.

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Starmom41 4 years ago

I agree with your POV about rules & parameters.

But many people also mistake the term strict to cover physical violence & parents who have a "Drill Sergeant" attitude.

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

A parent who believes in corporal punishment is not strict but abusive. The same thing applies to drill sergeant parents. I might add the word psychotic to the mix.

adifferentopinionst 4 years ago

I have to disagree with really strict parenting because although it produces good results, it makes very anti social or stressed children. for example I have a girlfriend that has very strict parents and she always is stressed because she has her own interests that her parents don't ever approve of and she always has to secretly talk to me and have me cheer her up. I do agree that a balance should be achieved because my parents allow some freedom as well but too much can choke some children because not all children are the same and not all will react the same to discipline, some may be very rebelious, some will do things that go against what their parents restrict even the really bad ones. there is countless more I have heard but I think parents should explain consequences of certain actions and benefits of others to their children and balance discipline with freedom for a maximum effectivness.

I hope that my opinion will not be ridiculed despite being a bit liberal.

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

When I mean strict parents, I mean authoritative parents who sent limits but are still considerate regarding their children's needs within reason. What you are addressing is the controlling and authoritarian parents who wants the child to live a life which the parent prescribes which makes the child rebel eventually..

adifferentopinionst 4 years ago

I see, then what I am pointing out is an actual problem? It makes me greif for my girlfriend when she has to hide from her parents just to talk to me. Thank you for pointing me right. Her parents are so cruel that she "feels" (I don't know for sure) that if they found out we were dating they would disown her. This makes me just cry on the inside when I hear about it, and dispite me being comforting its a scary thought.

Sorry if I missunderstood, because I am autistic it is easy for me to see something a certain way depending on how it looks to me.

chris 4 years ago

This is the biggest load of crap i have ever read. If you force your child to do things without socialization, theres no possible way for proper development of independance. If they dont make mistakes then they just have to make them later in life, and they are even harder to deal with then. I do agree with structure and order but a prison camp is not the way to teach your child. I know someone who did this to their child and they ran away and were found dead a few weeks later.

Sanjiv 3 years ago

It all depends on how you define "Success"

If having a great career, lots of money etc is the idea of success then they are wrong. Life has much more to offer than just money and career and true parents make their children confident and independent.

Anonymous 3 years ago

I believe you have a good idea on parenting although being too strict results in an anti-social, overly stressed child with anxiety problems. Reading is good for the mind, but 4 books a week seems much and teenagers should be allowed to socialize. You can make a child into a great successful person but unless you want an anti-social freak you need to let them live a life as well.

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

See the keyword is TOO. Too much of anything is NO GOOD and actually is HARMFUL. By strict, I mean authoritative parents who love and guide their children in addition to setting and establishing reasonable parameters. I was not mentioning overcontrolling and/or authoritarian parents who believe their children to be their appendages and to be just mere automotons with no minds of their own. Such "parents" usually have rebellious and/or estranged children.

Alex Mathews profile image

Alex Mathews 3 years ago from United States

Thank you for your hub! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I started out being strict, and my son was doing really well. He was and still is a very respectful young man who is very well liked by most anyone who meets him. Because he was so respectful and obedient, I was not so strict on him in his teenage years, and I did not make him study or read. I let him hang with his friends. He is 19 years old now, and while I won't mention in my comment what is his personal business, let's just say that he is now struggling because of my complacency...

gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

You are quite welcome indeed.

anonymous: 3 years ago

this article is full of it this article believe in applying too much pressure to children the extra pressure could make them weaker a good parent should be loving but not pass if top authority in the children's live they should be the

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RickAn 3 years ago

As you can tell by the comments, this article created a lot of confusion. That is because the author left out an even more critical aspect of parenting. Parents must be responsive and nurturing to their children, lax parents that are responsive and nurturing to their children will produce more well adjusted and successful children than strict parents that are NOT responsive nor nurturing with that strictness, these are the totalitarian parents that create great harm in their children by treating them as mere extensions of themselves. (It might be noteworthy of how abusive people view their victims as only an extension of their selves. Even more disturbing in this article is an exact quote of the empty platitudes used by totalitarian parents; "I do not care how Mr. Jones raises his children this is my house and I will raise you the proper way." Demanding parents will demand more of themselves as parents than they will of their children as children, they will know and will explain to their children their methods, the reasons and benefits. Demanding parents will constantly question themselves and seek validity in where they draw the line, if they are also providing the responsiveness and nurturing the child needs. Totalitarian parents do none of these things and simply demand from their children, justify it simply as their divine circumstance of being their parent makes them RIGHT regardless of the facts. These parents start declarations with "I don't care" in a total out of hand dismissal of their children's concerns and voicing their own initiative and determination in steering their own lives. These kinds of parents, in their self righteousness (much like the tone of the article) never exercise the introspection to find a balance and assess if they are doing more harm than good to their children. Take it from a U.S. Marine, we are demanding on our subordinates, but we are even more demanding on ourselves as leaders to be responsive to our subordinates, someone who expires to be a strict parent should take heed, will you be proud of yourself when your child tells you the Marines were a more nurturing environment than your home? The article tells only half the story, and the last half a strict parent needs to hear, it only serves as self aggrandizement to parents that focus on only half the equation in raising children, and without the introspection, a demanding parent that demands more from themselves, it merely reinforces the many parents out their doing more harm than good to their children. Be demanding, but also responsive to your children. Be more demanding of yourself than of your children, when challenged have a better answer than starting with "I don't care", this just admits to your children you are a failure in the other half of the equation as eventually you will become a failure totally as a parent, someone that abuses their authority and treats their children as extension of themselves, and not the individuals they claim they are trying to develop. Sorry, its a poorly thought out article the confusion it created is proof of that, and responding by claiming violence is where the line is drawn, is more proof of its incompletness, an entire critical aspect is neglected and with strict parents this aspect is the most pitfall, a strict parent must constantly Be wary that they are responsive and nurturing to their children, else wise they will become the totaliterian parent that does so much harm to their children.

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