What's Your Restaurant Personality Type?

Disclaimer

Any description of behaviors, types and personal motivations, personality traits and basically everything in this Hub is solely the opinion of Mighty Mom. This Hub is not based on any factual research. It is based on personal observation and should not be taken seriously. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental, so if you think you see yourself in one of these types and become offended, take it out on your next waitperson, not me!

Have you ever been embarrassed by your dining companion? Given a friend the benefit of the doubt, until her waiter abuse became too much to ignore? Or maybe you're the one who takes an agenda with you out to eat....?

An indicent Sunday morning made me lose my appetite. Ok, that's an exaggeration. It's near impossible to do that. But it did put a damper on my breakfast experience and ruined our waitress's day.

A woman sitting behind us sent her food back, claiming it contained too many onions. Too many onions? Uh, ok. The sweet young waitress brought her a replacement. The woman took one look, poked around a bit, and declared, disgusted, "I can't believe this." Unable to get the busy waitress's attention, she got up and stomped into the kitchen. The chagrined waitress breezed by the table and declared, "Sorry you guys. You don't have to pay."

Now the woman's husband had completely snarfed his breakfast -- not a crumb left on his plate. But here he was eating for free because his cow of a wife bitched out the waitress.

It got me thinking about bothersome behaviors I've observed at dining establishments and watering holes. And that got me thinking about why certain people routinely go out and act the way they do in public.

Here are 5 common dining out types, classified by their overt behaviors and underlying attitudes. See if you recognize yourself or someone you know.

Ordering pie a la Sally

Actually, you are a food weirdo and a pain in the ass.
Actually, you are a food weirdo and a pain in the ass.

Type #1: "I want what I want the way I want it!"

The Type 1 Diner  takes a basic menu choice and adds a plateful of instructions to the chef. The goal is to personalize the dish (and every element therein) for her and her alone. And yes, this type is almost always a female (prime example: think Sally in "When Harry Met Sally").

Asking for salad dressing on the side doesn't count-- unless it's just one of a dozen additional subtractions/substitutions.

Example: "I'll have the seared tuna, but I only like tuna that's cooked, so make sure they cook it all the way through. Oh, and I don't want any sauce, just plain. Instead of rice pilaf I'll have a baked potato with sour cream but no chives -- and on the side. For my salad I don't want any cucumbers. And no dressing. Just bring me a plate of lemon slices. Not wedges, slices."

Analysis: Is it appropriate to ask for an ingredient to be left out or substituted? Of course. And you don't need a food allergy to justify it. Most dining establishments will be happy to accommodate. However, if you find yourself rewriting the menu every time you go out to eat, you might might consider staying home and cooking your own food.That way you'll be sure to get your meal exactly how you want it.

You don't have to be spoiled in every area of your life to be a Type 1 Diner (but it helps). Type 1s obviously have no respect for the chefs they routinely insult. But I believe there's a Freudian component to their behavior. Each menu modification is a desperate cry for attention from an authority (read: Father) figure. Sad, really.

This ice cream is too cold. Send it back!
This ice cream is too cold. Send it back!

Type #2: "I can't eat this!"

This type of diner makes a habit of sending food back. On principle.

Now, once in a while you'll be served something that is verifiably inedible. It may be undercooked, burnt, or tastes "off" to the point you can't stomach it. It does happen. And no one, including the restaurant, expects you to eat improperly prepared or spoiled food.

It's how frequently you send back your food that defines you as a Type 2 Diner.

Example: A Type 2 Diner doesn't wait for a legitimate excuse. Rejecting her food is a reflex. She is like the boy who cried "cockroach in my omelet" one too many times. After awhile you realize it's not the food, it's her. And again, I've seen this behavior only in women. Could it be a control thing???

The Type 2 Diner is completely self-absorbed and insensitive to those in her party. She waits until everyone's served and starting to eat, then declares some part of her meal "inedible" and sends it back. She is more intent on getting her French fries hotter or her eggs harder (or softer, or fried in margarine not butter, or whatever) than enjoying her meal in synch with the rest of the table.

Analysis: I believe the Type 2 is stuck in an infantile stage of social development. She expects everyone -- including the waiter and the chef -- to read her mind. Somehow the restaurant should know exactly how she likes -- and doesn't like -- her food. Now mind you, Type 2 is different fromType 1. She doesn't make her wishes clear up front. Oh no. She waits until the restaurant delivers her order, then selects something to criticize/reject.

A Type 2 in action is like a 2-year-old having a tantrum. It is the restaurant's unfortunate job to appease her (unless an astute member of her party carriers her out screaming). Meanwhile, everyone within listening distance gets held hostage. Not to mention heartburn.

Hey! You're holding up the line. Choose already!!
Hey! You're holding up the line. Choose already!!

Type 3: "I don't know, I just don't know!"

It's true that some restaurants offer way too many choices. Recently, this trend seems to be waning (hooray). But I've been to places where the menu is 20 pages long.

The Type 3 Diner would starve to death in such an establishment. By the time she makes a selection, the kitchen would be long closed. But it's not the number of offerings that's the real problem. Type 3s have trouble deciding between two choices.

Example: You can recognize a Type 3 very easily. She's the one asking the waiter for a recommendation. I have always found this a very odd phenomenon. Why would I trust some 20-something, snot-nosed, wannabe-actor-with-an-attitude to have taste anything like mine? I've been eating for decades longer than the waiter's been alive, and, I daresay, in better establishments than this!

But I digress. The Type 3 Diner asks the waiter a dozen questions about the menu (and, of course, the specials). She will tell everyone else at the table to go ahead and order first, so as to buy more time. Finally, with the waiter standing there patiently, the Type 3 admits she still isn't sure.

Sometimes. at this point, the decision will be thrown out to the table. "What do you think -- should I have the salmon, or the ravioli?" The obvious response is, "Well, both are very good here. Which do you feel like? Which haven't you had in awhile? Who the fuck cares, just pick something so the rest of us don't starve to death."

Analysis: Simply put, Type 3s are commitment phobes. If they have this much trouble committing to a dinner entrée, just imagine them in a relationship.

But Type 3s can be managed. Once you recognize their deep, underlying need for reassurance (indecision is a classic sign of low self-esteem), you can either

a) Dominate the situation by taking over all food ordering on their behalf, or

b) Approach dining out as an opportunity to share two entrees. This enables you to take 50% responsibility for both selections, greatly assuaging your Type 3's ordering anxiety.

We're finished eating. You ready to order your beverage yet?
We're finished eating. You ready to order your beverage yet?

Type #4: "I try before I buy."

Type 4 Diners are clueless in their own way. Like Type 3s, they have trouble making decisions, but their motives and modes of operation are slightly different. Type 4s are identifiable by their approach to beverage selection.

Example: The Type 4 is the consummate sampler. She wil ask to try every chardonnay (or "chardy" as she calls it -- gag me) in the house before purchasing a glass. By the time she's tasted her way through the wine list she's consumed the equivalent of at least one glass. Free, of course.

To be fair, there are places where sampling is not only appropriate, but encouraged. Brewpubs, for example. The thing is, the Type 4 will go into a brewpub and ask to sample all the wines, not the beers. She will go into a dive bar where the standard fare is a shot with a Bud back and want to sample the wine (which comes out of a spigot on the wall). She will do the same at a high end restaurant, cluttering the table with her tastes (of $10-$15 a glass wine) before making her final selection.

In short, The Type 4 Diner engages in this pre-commitment testing behavior everywhere she drinks.

Analysis: A Type 4 in a bar is like a kid in a candy store. She is not a connoisseur. Nor is she an alcoholic. She wants to sample everything, because she feels she deserves it. Asking for the samples is part of her ritual.

She has a sick, unhealthy relationship with her bevvie (another typical Type 4 term) of choice. She reminds me of a fawning pet owner talking baby talk to her fuzzy wuzzy in public. Can you tell I find Type 4s particularly annoying?

Type #5: "I'll have the steak."

The final diner personality is #5. Type 5s are as recognizable as any other type. In any dining party there will be at least one, usually more than one Type 5.

Example: Type 5s are straightforward and easy to please. They know what they want. They order it and enjoy it. They don't waste time pondering alternatives or second-guessing the chef. They order off the menu. When asked specific questions by the waitperson they have their answers ready.

Salad or soup? Salad. Dressing? Blue cheese. Potato, rice or pasta? Potato, baked. Sour cream and chives? Sure.

Analysis: Type 5s are the most common dining type. I believe there are two distinct types of Type 5 diners: biological and environmental.

Biological Type 5s (BT5) are born that way. They are naturally self-confident. They approach life head on. They make decisions easily. Right or wrong, they make their decision and live with the consequences. Do not confuse them with wimps. They are anything but wimpy. They are merely well adjusted people who apply common sense and respect to their restaurant and bar experiences.

Environmental Type 5s (ET5), on the other hand, are made, not born. They learn their behavior. Like Pavlov's dogs, they learn to approach dining in terms of pain avoidance. Where you see a Type ET5 you are sure to see a Type 1, Type 2, Type 3 or Type 4. The ET5 personality develops over time. The more negative experiences he has with a problem diner, the stronger the ET5's personality becomes.

Unfortunately for all, Type 5s attract no attention. Even a table full of 5s wil not mitigate the damage caused by their Type 1, 2, 3 and 4 companion.

To all you Type 5s out there I say: You may not get the recognition you deserve, but at least you can enjoy your meal, confident that the chef and waiter haven't spit (or worse) in your food.

Type Yourself

Ok, people. Admit it. Which Dining Type are YOU?

  • Type 1 -- I like my food a certain way. So what?
  • Type 2 -- Hey, I'm paying for it,they better get it right.
  • Type 3 -- I often have trouble making decisions.
  • Type 4 -- Of course I sample my bevvies!
  • Type 5 -- I go out, I order, I eat. It's simple.
  • I am a combination of these types.
  • I do not recognize myself in any of these descriptions.
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Comments 66 comments

Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

MM great hub. This is one of my pet peeves. We need a new law. I think every person who wants to eat at a restaurant should have to show a certificate proving that they once worked in one. That would nip a lot of this behavior in the bud! I'm a big fan of, "just shut up and eat it."


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Big surprise we are in synch, RB. I admit I am guilty of wanting substitute ingredients in things that make sense.But usually I just take it as is and pick out what I don't like and give to Hubby. Much easier.

Nothing like dining with a group of women,eh?

Next hub in the series should be on splitting the bill and leaving a DECENT tip!

Thanks for visiting. MM


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

Ha! I really enjoyed reading this Hub MM. I'll admit, I'm usually a type 3 when I'm in an unfamiliar restaurant. I've worked in the restaurant field for over 12 years so know what it's all about. I treat my server the way I would want to be treated and always tip 20% unless the person is goddamn ghost after they first greet me. I always try to order the specialty of each restaurant: For example, you go to a roadside-diner to get a burger or a sandwich, NOT a Zuppa de Pesce. It's just common sense. I've also dated a girl that only ordered Chicken Parm whenever we went out to eat--that lasted about two weeks (before I caught on) and then after that, we split. I couldn't stand her, because she never wanted to try anything new (freak).

Sometimes I'll go out to dinner with someone and can't help but to wonder if the person has ever been out to eat before! Awesome Hub as always!

Thanks, MM!

Dohn


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

I hate seeing picky eaters in restaurants! When I worked as a waitress, the most common cause of people complaining about their food was that they didn't have enough money to pay for what they bought. As soon as the bill arrived, some woman would start up some form of #1. It is just stealing.

Men who wait to eat their steak last will often send it back to be reheated. I don't have a problem with this, but I do find it funny.


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing

I love this hub! No wonder you have so many fans!


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing

My five year old added this comment, sorry.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hi Dohn. So true. As is the opposite. You don't go to a fancy restaurant to get a burger. You go to sample the creativity of the chef.

How someone orders in a restaurant really does tell a lot about a person's upbringing, willingness to try new things, etc.

As to your date only ordering Chicken Parm -- I understand your point, but I would KILL for some bona fide CP. Not a dish you can get out here, unfortunately! I miss it!

Ivorwen -- I didn't even think of the payment problem. That is awful. Especially in today's economy, they should require you to pay first and order against your down payment. LOL.

I have no problem with asking for things to be reheated either. Usually the waitperson will ask how you want things to come out -- salad with or before or after, etc. Of course the problem with reheating a steak is it could change the status from rare to med rare or med to well, etc...


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hi advisor4qb. That is a funny comment. What is your five year old doing reading about ordering wine in brewpubs? I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you are starting the training early so that you are raising a savvy and sane future restaurant orderer. Please thank you little one for the compliment,tho! MM


eovery profile image

eovery 7 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

Interesting hub, mom, You missed one, called the Yes type. My type "Yes, I want it and a lot of it!"

Keep on hubbing!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hey there eovery. I was wondering where you would "weigh" in (lol) on this. Perhaps there will be a separate hub for your type. It will be about all-you-can-eat buffet etiquette!

Thanks for visiting. MM


ehern33 profile image

ehern33 7 years ago

Very interesting. I have seen all these types and must say the only ones I don't avoid going out with is number 3's. I did know one that would actually order and when the meal came, she claimed she didn't order that, and would change her selection. The first time we all heard her but we though she made a mistake. The second time we all heard her again and said something. The third and final time she did it again but we didn't say anything and that was the last time we went out to eat with her. There are all types, I am not sure which category my example falls under. Great hub!


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 7 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

I love this. I love it to pieces. I'm a I go out, I order I eat, it's simple, person. I HATE it when people make an overreactionary fuss. Just don't come back. Ask to speak to the manager privately. Write a letter. Whatever. But don't ruin it for everyone else too. And if you're such a cow, stay home and cook your own meal the way you like it!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

ehern33--interesting spin on #3. Order the food and when it arrives claim you didn't order that! Now that's sick. I mean, unless the person has Alzheimers. Then it's to be tolerated.

Frieda -- Good to see you! I have people in my family who cannot go out without some complaint about the service or the food. I do a lot of wincing. Thanks for visiting.MM


wsp2469 profile image

wsp2469 7 years ago from Alta Loma, Ca

Hello, my maiden of steel,

If I order something without the condiments I expect it to be plain. I am not annoying about it providing they get my order right the first time. if they don't then a second conversation is required.

I don't like some things about eating out either.

Have you seen my hub?

http://hubpages.com/food/Spare-The-Rod-Spoil-The-M...


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Well if you are having this problem with ordering food without the condiments often, I think I can help. Today's youth (who constitute the majority of wait staff across the country) do not have the vocabulary to understand the word "condiment" so just ask for it "plain" and see if that works.

I went to your profile today to look for your newest hub and didn't see this one. Will go and look.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 7 years ago from United States

Great hub. Lots of fun to read. I've been with all those types of diners but I'm pretty straight forward, know what I want and seldom sent something back. I order dressing for salad on the side because most restaurants drown the salad but they never seem to mind that request.

You could have showed the rest of the Sally video but that would have got us off the topic.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Pamela.Ha Ha! Yes, that other Sally video is a classic. Gotta find a hub to use that in! I just love that movie!

Thanks for your comment. Made me smile (in a naughty way). MM


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 7 years ago from Sunny Spain

I am basically a type 5 if it is somewhere where we have eaten before with a dash of type 3 if it is the first time we have eaten in the establishment. Normally we only eat out regularly when we are on holiday, which we take normally in the USA and we all like to try new stuff so we tend to order different things and taste each others stuff so we get to sample lots of new dishes this way. Due to not having loads of money we don’t normally do posh restaurants just the chain type places like Denny’s etc. Being British we don’t really complain that much if we get bad service or poor food unless there is something that is clearly not right with the food, but normally if we don’t like it we just don’t go back there again.


kartika damon profile image

kartika damon 7 years ago from Fairfield, Iowa

Ha! I'm laughing out loud! I'm a 5. I hate going out to eat when people pull some of the above stunts! One thing that makes me want to hide is when a dining companion goes into their health history explaining why they can only eat this or that and why must have the menu altered and make the waiter stand there, while the place is packed, while they give way too much information - a litany of heath issues and complaints that goes on forever! Kartika


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Maggs,

Your approach is oh so sensible. Why can't everyone be like that? Thanks for reminding me there still are normal people out there!

Kartika-- OMG, yes! The TMI diner is a classic. And how about the women (and men) who'd rather flirt with the waiter than order. Oy!


eovery profile image

eovery 7 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

You got it mom, All you can eat buffet etiquette. Only rule I know, is to eat all that is in your plate.

Keep on Hubbing!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

Mighty Mom, Wonderful hub! I am usually easy going and know what I want. Always remember you usaully get what you pay for. This one really makes you think. Thank you for sharing, Blessings


Pachuca213 7 years ago

WOW...what an experience you shared. I cannot believe what some people will do to get a free meal. Some people have such nerve. I can see if the steak was bloody or still "mooing" then there would be a problem! ha ha But anyways that was crazy. I hope the next time you go out to eat you have a better time and better scenery! =)


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

When I read choice #1 could not help but think of the movie " When Harry met Sally " . I am a definite 5 I usually got to a restaurant knowing what I want as I am a creature of habit and go to a lot of the same places all the time . Pretty funny stuff here MM .


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hello DeBorrah, you raise a good point. You do get what you pay for, so it's best to set your expectations to the place you're dining. Don't expect haute cuisine at a diner!

Chica -- Good to see you. Oh,this one was minor compared to some I've had. I just could not figure out what this woman's problem was. It's an OMELET for goodness sake. Unless it's runny inside or overcooked and rubbery, it's fine. There is just no pleasing some people.

And yes, your point is well taken. This is why I only order steaks in places where they really know how to cook them to order!

Tony -- Of course you are a "5" as you talk frequently about your "habits" (Heinekin is one I know). And you are a MAN. Men don't engage in this kind of BS typically.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

I'm a Type 3...I think!! Faced by a bewildering range of options I would rather wait for someone else to make the choices. Feed me anything as long as it's edible and I don't have to choose! :P


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

LOL, FP. Spoken like a true FELINE! I confess to having many Type 3 moments myself and to almost always wishing I had ordered what Hubby orders after I see his plate. Lucky for me he is generous about letting me taste:-).


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

What an insightful hub MM! So often, I've wondered what drives the Types 1 and 2 - do they really want perfection or do they just like all the attention they get when they are being loud and difficult? Is there a show of superiority when they do what they do? You're right - it's usually women who indulge in this kind of BS as you put it!

@Tony - I thought of that scene too - then I read your comment! :)


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

G'day MM what a great Hub.

I'm of the lazy school, you know the Sally one.

I wait for her to order, being the gentleman that I am ;-), and then declare quite nonchalantly,

"I'll have what she's having"


pgrundy 7 years ago

LOL! This was hilarious. I'm an environmental 5. Your right-on analysis of toxic diners gave me an idea for a hub on toxic servers. I get so tired of restaurants where the server inserts himself or herself right into the dining experience so often you feel like saying, "Why don't you just pull up a chair?" except you are afraid the server MIGHT. I waited tables as a young woman and the hostess where I worked had a description of a good waitperson that I think was right on--A good waiter or waitress is polite but almost invisible. He or she anticipates the diner's need before a request must be made and fills that need so quietly it's barely noticed. It's much harder to take advantage of staff who behave that way--it can still be done, but it's harder, and it leaves the asininity of the customer right out there in bold relief, increasing the chances that someone will shut her up out of sheer shame. :)


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 7 years ago from Ontario/Canada

I don't go out as often as I used to anymore, so I really get pi***d off when the companion I'm with messes up the experience. The whining once really get on my nerves, the bullies almost trigger me to violence (lets knock their block off) but the non-decisive once---man-oh-man--- to the moon I tell ya.

This hub was a hoot once again MM you got them pegged right down to the last one.

Great hub kindest regards Zsuzsy


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 7 years ago from Alberta and Florida

Great hub. One of my regular dining companions always orders steak, then demands it be just a certain level of rare. "And if it's not," she says, "I will send it back." This is accompanied by a warning glare, to be sure the waitress understands the importance. The punch line -- she never finishes it and always takes it home in a doggie bag. This is a truly funny hub, but funny in an uncomfortable way.


OUTSPOKEN 7 years ago

You know what Mighty Mom? You have earned your name in my book today. Where do you come up with this stuff? Never mind, you already told us. What I definitely love about this piece is your analyses of the personalities, so spot on I think. So I am in a phase now of practising how to behave correctly and the type 5s reminded me of that;we don't have to act crazy! Certain skills and behaviors I was never taught had to be learned the hard way after countless mistakes and it's helpful to read or hear about how to behave properly from others who know. These are some of the pointers that I would like to add to my magazine when it is back up and running. Thank you, and please keep up the good work!


wesleycox profile image

wesleycox 7 years ago from Back in Texas, at least until August 2012

Definitely a type five here, the biological type. I've always rapidly picked what I wanted to eat at restaurants. Usually I decide what I want to eat in the car on the way to the restaurant. I was a three once but that was the first time I ever went to a fancy restaurant though. It took me some time to decipher the menu and pick something new. I chose lamb, sounded exotic to me. Anyway I enjoyed this hub and thought of how my wife often takes a long time to decide what she wants to eat and as I read through number three I laughed out loud when it said, "Who the f**k cares just pick something." I often think that when she gets indecisive.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Lord, I'm easy! :o) 5 all the way...Thanks for this great hub.


Balinese profile image

Balinese 7 years ago from Ireland

i really like your hub- i work in the restaurant and see those people .

thanks for sharing


mrxsmoker profile image

mrxsmoker 7 years ago from Las Vegas

Hi MM. Well, I'm a type #5 but I've been with most of the other types. I'm a little strange because I have no problem ordering different things and I choose fairly quickly, however, I always let my food cool down considerably before I eat. I just don't tolerate heat very well whether it's eating or drinking or standing in the hot sun. It always makes the food server wonder if everything is alright, and I always let them know it's just fine (even if I haven't tried it yet). I'm not picky and I'm easy to please. Food has to be pretty bad for me to say anything. As far as tipping, I'm a pretty standard 20 percenter. Most are worth every penny of that and more.


itakins profile image

itakins 7 years ago from Irl

Brilliant hub-I have a pal who never looks at the menu ,but expects the waiter to tell her what's on it-and discuss every last item-now I prefer to go for a coffee with her!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

LOL. I seem to have struck a nerve -- seems everyone can relate to these toxic diners!

@Shalini, It's gotta be a need to control and feel superior to someone. Surely these people are not as picky picky with food in their own homes!

@Ag,good to see you, mate. Yes, you do look pretty laid back, you sly dog you:-).

@Pam, Go for it! There are as many toxic server types as diner types. If you write one on waiters, link to mine!

@ZsuZsy -- Always great to see you. How did I know you'd see things the way I do?

@Immartin -- I think I'd limit my meals with that friend to McDonalds or coffee. What a jerk!

@Outspoken - Why thank you! Glad you got something useful from my hub. You know, we all learn these behaviors. No one knows intuitively how to behave in a restaurant. The key is to copy the GOOD behavior of others. Unfortunately, the people I've lampooned here do it over and over and never learn. Good luck getting your magazine back up!

@Wesleycox -- You prove my point perfectly. 99.9% of all men are 5s. I love your lamb story. Hope you liked the lamb. Not everyone does (I do!)

@Lorlie -- No you are an exception. Female 5s are somewhat rare!

@Balinese -- I bet you do! Sorry.

@MrExSxmoker- You sound like a waitperson's dream customer!

@itakins -- Oh lovely. The "let's test the waiter to see how well they really know the menu" type. I forgot that type -- thanks for the reminder. But even going for coffee can be a challenge for some people!

Thanks all for visiting and your comments. Glad you had fun with this! MM


msannec profile image

msannec 7 years ago from Mississippi (The Delta)

Fabulous post, MM. I have either dined with or sat near one of these types everytime we've eaten out (we have an aunt who is a combination of types 1 and 2; we avoid dining out with her). Thanks for sharing the info.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California

I can't believe a person that gives the waitress or chef a hard time and then eat the food afterward. I've seen enough bad things on TV about such things, to know better than to make it hard on the people cooking my food. Waitresses and chefs you can't get a better diner than me, you're all great! LOL! Seriously I totally have empathy for people that work on their feet all day, for little or know appreciation. This is truly a really great hub. More, more, more.


Pachuca213 7 years ago

I am a definite #5!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hi msannec, good to see you! You still are the most elegant looking lady on HP!

Fastfreta-- I know! They are only shooting themselves in the foot, aren't they? Stupid.

Chica amiga -- I knew that! You have many other ways to exert yourself in this life -- and they are positive. xoxo


Drew Breezzy profile image

Drew Breezzy 7 years ago from somewhere in my mind

Type 2 is me!


skeletons 7 years ago

Most enjoyable Hub. I eat out often and find some peoples behavior just horrible. Keep on writing


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hi Drew Breezzy -- I hope you get all your food just the way you want it!

Skeletons -- I hear ya. Some people confuse public behavior with private behavior,although there is no excuse for acting the way some people do! Thanks for visiting!! MM


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Fabamundo read, Mighty! Boy, Type 1 & 2 should be BANNED from eating out in public, no, hang on, first SPANKED and then BANNED. Oh, and can I do the spanking? :-)


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 7 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

Awesome read! You have so, so pegged the behavior of someone who is very close to me (no names mentioned)...always the question, "What does your chef recommend?" after agonizing over the menu. Instead of getting annoyed, I just watch the wait-person's reaction. Those who don't roll their eyes get an extra-nice tip. :)


Set's All Set profile image

Set's All Set 7 years ago from New England

I'm a busser at a fine dining restaurant. Type 1 is the most like to eat everything on their plate only to say, "I didn't like it." I've heard it so many times, it's not even funny. That's a free tip for all of you guys. Don't say it! You're not funny and you're not original!


Vonniebelle 7 years ago

If you don't like the food, don't go to the restaurant. That is my opinion; especially if the price is wrong!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hello fellow annoyed diners. Thanks for visiting and commenting! Perhaps the next time any of you gets the "pleasure" of being out with one of these types (or Set's All Set, next time you are working!) you will quietly chuckle to yourself. And yes, Elena -- spanking is definitely in order. Also gagging with their napkin.


Jaspal profile image

Jaspal 7 years ago from New Delhi, India

Great hub MM! Type 5 - biological - is me. If I've been to a particular restaurant a couple of times, then I don't even need to look at their menu - I know what I want. Sure, they might have a lot of other interesting stuff, but if I've had something I liked and enjoyed earlier, I'll usually stick with that.

The whole idea of eating out is to have fun and not to make things unpleasant for yourself and everyone around you.

But,yes, I do know some people who would fit the other types. I'd avoid going out with types 1,2 and 4. Type 3 is fine with me; in fact, it can be twice the fun going out with them - as you say, one can order two different entrees and both can share ...!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hi Jaspal,

I agree 100% with your sentiments. I do the SAME thing -- if frequent a restaurant frequently I will almost always order the same thing. Maybe I am in a rut:-).

Showing genuine interest in the menu and getting outside perspective isnot abadthing per se.It's just when it's done every time you go out. And hold up everyone else in your party!

Thanks for visiting. And happy meal sharing to you. MM


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

MM I love it. I'm a Type 5er I think. Just get out, see something I like, order it. The only thing that might piss the chef off is if I want my steak well done (but this rarely happens, just don't like any rawness or blood in it). If it's slightly under, I'm not too fazed.

Gonna tweet this hub (@marcofratelli), I think a lot of people will relate.


Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 7 years ago from Massachusetts

MM, this is funny. I know all those types you mentioned. I'm the "The only thing I like is the mozzarella sticks, salad, or grilled cheese type"; which generally means never needing time to decide, always liking my choice (as long as the forks are clean and there aren't any hairs in the food); and never really understanding why other people treat "this one meal" as a life-or-death matter. :) Most of the time, there's always another lunch tomorrow.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hey there marcofratelli. I can't imagine any chef being upset about a well-done steak. That's a common enough order.To many, a complete waste of a good steak,but still I know as many "no pink,please" steak eaters as "still moo-ving" eaters.

Thanks for the tweet. I have yet to venture onto Twitter for ridiculous reasons (fear most likely).

Lisa HW- I love the line "this one meal as a life-or-death matter." That's PERFECT! Exactly what I was trying to say.

To these people I say "Go get a life first,then go out to celebrate!"


shoesellingserver profile image

shoesellingserver 7 years ago

Love it. nothing ticks me off more than when a table practically has a panic attack when I ask them what they would like to DRINK


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

hello shoesellingserver. I can see where that would be a bad omen. It can only go downhill from there:-). I think servers are saints and deserve big tips for even putting up with the dining public!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Enjoyed the hub as I found myself in similar scenarios. But wha happens when Types crossover? Or morph into one type? It should boggle the mind. But true what you said, sometimes actions do really speak louder than words :D


geekchick profile image

geekchick 6 years ago

Hilarious and true hub. I'm a type five, with a type one tendency only when I say to hold the mayo. I know people who are all of these types. Very enjoyable hub.


The Rope profile image

The Rope 6 years ago from SE US

:) :) Ohhh so true! Once again, a great hub by a thoughtful hubber.

I rarely eat out anymore unless I'm positive it will be a great experience - and my dining companions are completely enjoyable. I can't imagine how the wait staff puts up with some of the shinnagins of the diners. I personally take a few minutes with the menu, decide and order, no fuss. Part of the dining experience is trying new things or enjoying old favorites cooked cooked by someone else. Searching out the best menu items by trying different restaurants is FUN! "Messing" with the cook's tried and true recipes (unless it's a minor variation, like please, if possible leave out the peppers) is a defamation. I've seen people do it just to impress their fellow diners with their own "power". Uggg.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

Hi Rope! So good to see you, my friend. Happy 2010.

I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment. It's POWER.

I do have a couple of friends with legit food allergies for whom ordering requires a query about the presence of peanuts (for example). Other than that, it's usually pretty easy to find SOMETHING on the menu to your liking.

Also agree about trying new things and enjoying old faves with pleasant company. It's not as easy as one would think, tho, is it???


dpfitzell profile image

dpfitzell 6 years ago from North Dakota

Super article. My ex used to always make a scene whenever we went out.For example They put onions on my burger and she could not pick the onions off because she could still taste the onions,yet she did not tell them not to put onions on it. I started to hate going out to eat with her. Thank you for such a sweet hub.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA Author

I can relate to that being able to taste a food I don't like when it has touched a food I do like. But I've learned to be more tolerant. I figure in any group there's going to be at least 1 high maintenance orderer. I don't want to be that person!

Hope that's not the only reason you and your ex broke up, tho:-)! Thanks for visiting.


ChristineVianello profile image

ChristineVianello 5 years ago from Philadelphia

Great hub! hah

I am a type 5!


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

I enjoyed your sense of humor in this hub, Mighty Mom. I do like my dressing on side, and some foods I can't eat. I know some people are really picky and know of one person who tries food from the plates of a friend. A pet peeve is a couple in a nice restaurant who are into romance and are embarrassing. You picked a good subject and used good categories for the food peculiarities. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Blessings, Audrey

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