Bacon Food of the Gods
Food of the Gods Bane of Cardiologists
The word bacon comes down through history from Germanic bakkon, which refer to the back. The French borrowed it and spelled it as bacon. The word originally meant pork of any type, fresh or cured. By the twelfth century the English acquired the word and they used it as a synonym for a 'side of cured pig meat'. By the fourteenth century, we find it being applied to the cured meat itself."
To make bacon, meat from a pig is cured with lots of salt first, this gives us fresh or green bacon, curing can be done dry by coating the meat with salt or wet in a brine or even by injecting the salt solution. This curing process is the first chance to flavor and season the bacon, when you see honey cured bacon or brown sugar cured bacon, that ingredient was added during the curing process. Curing is also when sodium nitrite is added to preserve the meat and lock in that familiar pink color. Without nitrites all of our bacon would be a ghastly grey color. Fresh bacon is then usually dried, or boiled, or smoked. Fresh and dried bacon must be cooked before eating. Boiled or smoked bacon is ready to eat, but we cook it to remove fat and make it crisp and delicious. Almost all of the bacon found in our supermarkets is smoked and much of the flavor depends on the type of wood used to provide the smoke.
This is not to ignore the health risks of consuming bacon, all that sodium, fat and nitrites have been written about endlessly. Recent research at the Harvard School of Public Health is even indicting bacon as being culpable in the rise of diabetes in America. Their research has shown that a daily serving of processed meat, as in one hot dog or two slices of bacon, leads to a 51% increase in the risk of developing diabetes. Members of the cult of bacon have no comment.
Bacon scented underpants
Of course ot was only a matter of time. J&Ds is offering bacon scented underpants for men and women.
Each pair ($19.99) features an image of bacon strips next to the phrase “stop and smell the,” encouraging people to smell each other’s bacon-y nether regions.The “handcrafted” garments apparently offer the “smell of breakfast cooking in your pants,”
If I were you and I chose to wear your bacon undies I would avoid wild places or overly friendly dogs
Bacon cult or religion?
Do a little research online and you quickly discover bacon is not just a food, it also a cult, a way of life and a dietary bombshell. As long as your religion and philosophy permit you can get a bacon fix in a variety of ways. The people of Canada really love their bacon. In a recent survey conducted by Maple Leaf Foods, 43% of the respondents said they would rather have bacon than sex. Now that’s devotion! Wait! ...What?... Now you can have bacon and sex! J&D’s Foods has introduced condoms that look like bacon and are coated with "an ultra-premium Bacon-flavored personal lubricant “Bacon Lube” “A delicious massage oil and personal lubricant.”
After a night of slumber on your “Bacon Pillows – Soft & Sweet and Made of Fleece” start your day start your day with a shower using the best of recycling; soap made from leftover bacon grease. No, you won't end up smelling like a used griddle, this soap is scented with ginger and citrus. Now put on just a dab of a crispy fried cologne: bacōn (that's pronounced "bay-cone") by fargginay, the world's first bacon fragrance. Could there be anything better than the aroma of a cheap diner to linger on your person all day? Wait, did you forget to brush your teeth? Don’t leave that bacon flavored toothpaste unopened, Momma said to always brush your teeth!
Don’t forget to floss with bacon flavored floss before you finish.
Homer Simpson:“(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!”"
The Bacon Song
Baconalia Bacon Fest
How about a trip to Denny’s, America’s Diner to indulge in "Baconalia!: A Celebration of Bacon." Treat yourself to items like Bacon Flapjacks, Bacon Meatloaf, the BBBLT and finish with a Maple Bacon Sundae, Mmmmm good.
Still hungry? If you’re in Chicago, (Chicago is bullish on bacon) a trip to Paddy Long’s may be in order for: “The Bacon Bomb. The Bacon Bomb is five pounds of ground sausage, pork and beef mixed with spices and wrapped in a weave of brown sugar bacon, and then slow cooked on our pig roaster. Paddy’s Bacon Bomb is served with potato salad or fries. It serves 6-8 people, or you can get it on your personal sandwich…unless you’re up for the Paddy Long’s Bacon Bomb Challenge. If you can finish one off on your own, they’ll give you a free t-shirt, your picture on the wall and your bacon bomb will be free. No free cardiologist and no free stomach pump tho’.
Still not satisfied?
Still hooked on bacon? Travel the country from bacon festival to bacon festival.
One of the most famous festivals is the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival
Or try the Iowa State Fair,for the Bacon-on-a-Stick stand — a 3/8-inch thick piece of applewood smoked bacon that can be dipped in chocolate or maple syrup.
In Milwaukee there’s the BaconFest Milwaukee
In March go to BaconFest Atlanta
From March through there is the Hormel Bacon Takedown Tour where 20 local chefs cook recipes with Hormel Black Label bacon.
In April there is Boston Bacon Beer Festival for crazy bacon creations
Also in April there is BaconFest Chicago but this one is a white tablecloth event so you better dress.
In June we can go to Blue Ribbon Bacon Tour, Keystone, Colorado or Zingerman’s Camp Bacon
Might have to wait for August for BaconFest KC in Kansas City or Portland BaconFest in Portland, Oregon then Hop a plane to Iceland for Blue Ribbon Bacon Tour in Reykjavik, Iceland.
In September go to Knoxville BaconFest or Carolina Bacon Festival or Bacon Bash in Pittsburg.
Tired of high prices for your favorite snack? Two enterprising eighteen-year-olds Quincy D. Davis and DaQuan Marquis Wright, along with an unnamed juvenile, stole three boxes of bacon from an Anderson, Indiana store freezer. The bacon was valued at $90. Now, do you sell hot bacon or just nibble until the evidence is gone? A comment from the original article: "Caught in the jig for stealing some pig? Got caught by the pigs for stealing some pigs! they're sorrily mistaken for stealing the bacon. Made the police log for taking some hog. Lack the know how of shoplifting sow. Couldn't enter the store so settled for boar. Really doing time for illegal possesion of swine. What kind of dorks get apprehended lifting pork?"
Dear Tooth Fairy
Bacon Fest 2011
If you’ve eaten the evidence from your own bacon caper and want a little entertainment in the Chicago area you might spend a day at the Chicago BaconFest. Feast your eyes on a bacon wrapped roast pig while you sample a bacon consommé and finish with a bacon cannoli fried in bacon fat of course. Still hungry? Try a bacon filled ravioli served with brown butter sauce and if you’re the adventurous sort you can top it with bacon hot sauce. Ready to go home? Take a bacon lollipop and some bacon breath mints with you and get some samples to try at home. Don't forget to get samples of bacon soap to wash those tired feet and bacon balm to sooth your tired feet
Not to worry, there are plenty of bacon desserts to finish your meal. A nice bacon brownie, or Maplewood Smoked Bacon & Peanut Butter Cupcakes, simple chocolate covered bacon is always a treat. Recipes
When you’re rested and ready for a night on the town there’s no reason to leave your bacon obsession behind. Time for some bacon fueled cocktails! For the purist, the rugged individualist who eschews those fancy drinks with little umbrellas there is bacon vodka. This is made by soaking crisp cooked and drained bacon in vodka for a few days to infuse the flavor. Add some tomato juice and ice cubes made of lettuce water and you get a BLT cocktail, wait, not done yet. Take some thick sliced bacon, cut into strips, place it under a heavy glass dish and bake till crisp, voila; bacon swizzle sticks! Nope, still not done, take some more crisply cooked bacon, pound it in a mortar with some kosher salt and a bit of pepper and use this to rim the glass for your BLT cocktail. If you’d like an eye opener to start the day what could be better than a cocktail made with bacon and maple syrup? Sounds like a treat to go with your bacon flapjacks, no? PDT’s Bacon-Infused Old Fashioned’
“Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.”
“When you’re in my house you shall do as I do and believe who I believe in. So Bart butter your bacon.”
“Is it Bacon Day?”
“Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend – fudge.”
“Not again! First you took away my Philly Fudgesteak. And then my Bacon Balls. Then my Whatchamachicken. You monster!”
Homer: I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o’clock shadow made of bacon bits and a bacon body.
Waitress: How about I just shove a pig down your throat?
(Homer looks excited)
Waitress: I was kidding.
Homer: Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
Waitress: No he doesn’t!
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cooking, let alone eating. ~ Southern proverb
I’m never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? ADMIRAL Crunch? ~ Fry, from Futurama
I used to have trouble choking down the pills I have to take for controlling my cholesterol, but it’s a lot easier now that I wrap them in bacon. ~ Brad Simanek
Veggie bacon?!? That sounds like a sign of the Apocalypse. ~ Turtle Dundee
As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it. ~ Rush Limbaugh
“Yes, I’ll have a non-fat, decaf latte, please. Oh, what the hell? Look, make it a full-fat mocha with extra whipped cream. What the hell, put a slice of bacon on it!”
Dr. Frasier Crane, Frasier
This is a viral email making the rounds, no idea who to credit as the author.
Bacon turtle email
WOW!!! Only in Georgia. Here's a new twist on how to serve burgers and if you don't cook, give this handy little guide to someone that does and request them... Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave, then the next step, add hotdogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail.
Next step. Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees... A little crispy, not too crunchy...just how a turtle should be, no?
Probably even better cooked on the grill!!!
Still hankering for bacon? Try some links
- Bacon Is Getting Its Own Reality Show - Bacon Bacon Bacon - Eater National
LMNO Productions is developing a bacon reality show. Check out the bacon themed casket, a must have after all that bacon
A wide array of bacon related gags
- Bacon Jello
How about instructions to make your own bacon Jello
- J&D's Bacon Shaving Cream
Bacon Shaving Cream-NOTE: We sold out of our first batch! Our 2nd batch of Bacon Shaving Cream will ship to you by December 20th - and it should make it for Christmas if you're in the US according to the US Postal Service.-------------- Nothing is mo
- Bacon scarf
- 'United States Of Bacon' TV Show On Destination America To Premiere December 30
It was only a matter of time before there was a television series devoted to bacon. Bacon fiends should start setting their DVRs because the Destination America channel, owned by Discovery, will premiere "United States Of Bacon" on December 30 at 10
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