Cake Wrecks Cooking gone Crazy!
Cake Wrecks You're Not Wrong There!
Cake Wrecks is a site that has suddenly caught on to the fact that actually everyday people who do cooking for a trade, can't, well, actually cook! I mean for goodness sake! As I think some of these cakes need to go down in History as cockup cakes I should have named it that! I can't cook, far from it, but believe me when I say I don't even think I could be as bad as this! I would love to be a fly on the wall when somebody asks for one of these cakes to be made. Take for example the first picture.
At first I thought it was a rabbit. Then a squirrel, then, well, beats me! But I have now come to the conclusion that actually it is a rabbit in disguise. Take note of the great mustache! I mean, even his wife wouldn't recognise him! Maybe the hairdresser couldn't understand the fact that the buyer asked for a punky looking rabbit! But I am still trying to figure out what the mustache is all about.
Any ideas out there?
Punky Cake Mistake!
You have Got To Be Kidding Me!
Okay, so you go into the bakery, like you do, and ask for a Mole! Yep right! And will somebody please tell me why it has tissue stuck up his nose? Oh, Sorry, it's meant to be his teeth! Maybe it's meant to be that scary beasty, the Chupacabra! Anybody who doesn't know what that is, it is a, well, scary beasty!
Long story short, horrible thingy from Mexico that eats people in the night! Well, let's be honest, you wouldn't want it to be the other way round! 10 points for yuckiness!
Please Don't Ask!
I Got A Horrible Taste In My Mouth!
I am sure Shakespeare would turn in his proverbial if he saw this! Talk about a lamb to the slaughter! I guess this must be for a farmer. I mean, what a great birthday cake. The farmer has probably been searching for his lost sheep for days, so his family, trying to be kind, decided that actually, as he was pining for it so badly, to get a cake made to commemorate the poor sheep's demise. Or maybe this is the sheep, and they just cut the head off.....! Yuck factor 9.
Alas Poor Yorrick I Mean Yuckick I Knew Him Well!
Itsy Witsy Spider Climbing Up The Cake Stand!
Poor little Molly, after her horrible experience of having a spider land on her, decided to go to a therapist to get rid of her phobia. The therapist decided that actually the best way to be spider friendly was to eat a giant arachnid! Yum! Now, where shall we start? Those legs look lovely and scrunchy. No, actually I might go for the abdomen, you never know, it might just taste like marsh mallow. Isn't that what a real spider is supposed to taste like? Saw it on TV, long story short again, Nature Programme, local tribe, delicacy Tarantula! Yuck factor 8
Spider Spider Burning Bright, Sorry Burnt Bright!
Land of the Giants!
Now, I know what you are thinking! This is a masterpiece of cooking ingenuity. The cake must have been ordered for an anthropologist, or Archisomething or other. To commemorate a great discovery in the field of yucky bugs. But on closer inspection, I have got a horrible feeling that it, well, just crawled out of the wall! Arggggghhhhh! Yuck factor 100.
I am Vomiting Right Now! Back in a Minute...!
You Really Should Wear Glasses, You Know!
Now this one is easy to explain. A woman loses her glasses. or a man. Most likely to be a man, let's face it, when was the last time they did any shopping? So, anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. A man goes down the town, completely miopic, can't see a thing, poor dear, and heads for what he thinks is the fish and chip shop. On entering he asks for a fish cake. He is surprised to find that it costs 25 pounds, but hey, if you like something, well, you buy it don't you! Mind you, I would love to see the chips that he bought with it! As it's slimy, and er, slimy, it gets a Yuck factor 8.
Ah, At Last! A Fishcake!
I don't think they meant this sort of Chocolate mousse!
We all love chocolate mousse. Lovely and soft and scrummy. But not one like this! And why has it got bat wings? Maybe it is a new super hero. Super moose! I think it started off as a normal, everyday chocolate cake, and somebody has scraped road kill into it! What? I am disgusting? Really? Sorry!.... Yuck factor 2 as it's quite sweet!
Moose Loose within this Hoose!
Where did we go last night? I thought you said it was a Hen party! Oh, I have a hangover! I know my ma said not to leave the nest but I just couldn't help it. Never again, never ever again, oh hang on, gonna throw up.....! And what the hell is this gump I am sitting on? Yuck factor 1. Ah poor little thing!
I Knew I Shouldn't have Drank That Much!
Ooh! What's that Smell?
Now, being a blue Dippy Docus, I can get down with the rest of the Dino's. I just use my nose to sniff out the good pongs here and there. The other Dinosaurs think I am an embarrassment, but I don't care! Now, if I just shuffle to the edge, I might just get myself some of those good looking magic mushrooms! Ah, that's better, I am feeling chilled out now man! Yuck factor 0. He is so cute!
It's a Blue Dippy Docus!
I hope you enjoyed these weird and wonderful cakes. Just remember, when you go to order one, make sure you tell them exactly what you want.
Because in those great words of Forest Gump, you never know what you're gonna get!
Thanks to Cakewrecks.blogspot.com for a couple of the pictures.
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