Cooking Recipes You Can Make In Jail!
Cooking on the fly.
No matter where you are - you can learn to cook with the resources available to you. Even if you are in jail, there are ways to make foods that will delight the palate of anyone who has been incarcerated for several years. If you are a bad cook - even this could be a step UP for you!
Martha Stewart made a delicious "Jailhouse Jelly" from crab apples while passing time.
Inmates have found fascinating and clever ways to create culinary meals with crumbs and whatever they can scratch up from the commissary.
Several of the housewives have been embroiled in questionable behavior. Many of them are facing legal challenges and might need to know how to cook a more "simple" meal.
Thought Sandwiches is learning to cook and plans to be moving onto a boat in the very near future. With few resources available to cook with on a boat - he requested a few meals he could cook in a cinch. The following recipes are adapted by using the items available on a prison commissary list. You won't need measuring cups or a stove or any complicated instruments. Relax, you've got this in the bag!
Each morning, prisoners everwhere, embrace the new day with their favorite hot drink. This sweet cappuchino drink will add a spring to any inmate's step.
- Carton of Milk
- Instant Coffee
- Hot Tap Water
Place the unopened carton of milk under hot running water. When the milk gets as hot as possible open the carton and add instant coffee. If you have some syrup left over from breakfast you can add some rich maple flavor!
Remember the early jail bird gets the worm....be the first inmate to the yard!
Bernie Madoff did make off with a lot of money but he was eventually caught and sent to the slammer. This is a little sample of the type of hors d'oeurves that Mr. Madoff enjoys presently.
- 1 Can of Chili
- 1 Package of Ramen Noodles
- 1 Small Bag of Corn Chips
- Squeeze Cheese
All you have to do is layer these ingredients and don't forget to crunch the chips up for an extra toothsome texture. Grab your favorite squeeze and enjoy some hearty MaNoodle!
For the health conscious.
Soup Du Jail
Paris Hilton didn't want to lose her shape while behind bars so she resorted to a skinny girl diet of soup.
- hot water
- any flavor of Ramen Noodle spice packet
Heat water and add your favorite spice packet for flavorful and low cal soup.
Simpson Spork Spread
Party Dip!Click thumbnail to view full-size
Simpson Spork Spread
Simpon's favorite spread can now be made and shared amongst his closest pals. This party spread can be made for a party of two (romantic evening) or the whole gang!
If the inmates are celebrating they can have a BYOCI Dip. (Bring your own commissary item dip). For the authentic version you will need a garbage bag to prep the dip. Simply pour the noodles into the bag, crush them with shower shoes or murderous strength. Now all you have to do is have party goer's walk past, dropping their favorite commissary item into the bag.
- Package(s) of Ramen Noodles + Spice Packet
- Any flavor of Chips (Doritos, Cheetos, Frito's)
- V8 Juice
- Whatever one can spare
Crunch all the noodles, spice packets and additives up. Add hot water and cinch that sak! Let your party dip cook together so the flavors have time to meld. After the cinch sak feels nice and thoroughly cooked through open the bag and voila! You can relax and enjoy the party while everyone chows down with a non-threatening spork.
You don't have to worry about leaving the dish just take your cinch sacked dip and spread it out on the table. It's great for PTA functions, baby showers or office parties. Wait until your friends see you approaching with this little treat! They will all be clamoring for the recipe, I promise.
Are you on a boat?
Hey Mikey - ya like it?Click thumbnail to view full-size
Tyson Tamale - Take a Bite Outta Life!
The Tyson Tamale is the fix for your taste buds when you are looking to add some spice in your life! I had to beg Tyson to part with the recipe and finally, he agreed if I'd just let him whisper the secret ingredient into my ear. Turns out it's hot sauce! Crispy chips, deconstucted and reconstructed into a hot little firecracker!
- One bag of Fritos
- One bag of spicey hot Cheetohs
Break the chips down into tiny crumbs. Add hot water to make a thick mush. Roll the combined ingredients in the bag and cook for 5 minutes. Unroll your snack and top with hot sauce, jalapeno's or cheese.
- Prison Cookbook: Female Texas Inmates Release 'From The Big House To Your House'
GATESVILLE, Texas -- These women may not have an oven, refrigerator, stove, knife, or even the ability to boil water, but they do have plenty of time on their hands. Decades, in fact.
Correct All Cake
What would an evening in jail be without a special dessert? To make your night memorable or for those occasions where an inmate is released you can prepare a scrumptious cake!
- Oreo Cookies
- Peanut Butter
- M & M's
Separate the Oreo Cookies. Make a crust from the cookie wafers. Mix the white icing with peanut butter. Cover the cookies with the peanut butter frosting. Garnish with crushed M & M's.
As you can see there are many delectable treats that can be made from what is on hand - or 'the list'. From "VickChowMean" which smacks of Asian Terriyaki to a savory "MaulAGirl Stew" all these recipes are a cinch. Food fit for a Kingpin! If you are looking for more frugal menu items or chow you don't need modern conveniences to cook, these ideas will be sure to amaze and excite you and your food loving friends!
Pruno - Wine You Can Make it on a Boat!
More recipes for the frugal bachelors!
- The Top Five Recipes For Bachelors
Great meals for the on-the-go bachelor who could care less about nutrition.
"And it should be the law: If you use the word "paradigm" without knowing what the dictionary says it means, you go to jail. No exceptions." ~David Jones
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