How To Make Delicious 'Hobo Hamburgers'

Do you recall the late Mike Ross, the super-talented painter who had his own show on PBS? His soft voice only added to his interesting show where each week, he would teach us how to take a blank canvas and before we knew it, we could create a beautiful painting from nothing but an idea. Ross' catch-phrase was, "we don't have mistakes, just happy accidents," meaning that with his method of painting, there would be no mistakes in how your paintings would turn out, if, you followed his methods.

That same principle can apply to this recipe that I, and an old ex-beer drinking buddy of mine, Kenneth "Wild Man" Stone, (his real name), discovered one simple summer evening in July of 1983, while Stone was visiting with me for no other reason that to listen to a few LP's (record albums) and sip a few cold brews.

As all brewski lovers know, that if you drink enough cold beer, sooner or later, you will get hungry. And that's a good thing. If you have a refrigerator well-stocked with food, not just beer, and enough common sense to prepare the food.

But if you were like "Wild Man," and I, you might have hit the panic button. But for some reason, God looked past our over-indulgence of Budweiser's, and came to our rescue as to successfully satisfy our ravenous craving for food.

Thank God that the evening before, my wife had shopped for groceries and had bought just the right fixings for what Stone and I later called, 'Hobo Hamburgers.' Which were so good that we didn't bother saving any for the long night that lay ahead for listening to more of Hank Williams, Jr., Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson, and sipping more cold Bud's as the supply would allow.

We, out of sheer desperation, to be honest, didn't have a barbecue grill, but we found enough loose bricks at the edge of my yard to make a make-shift barbecue pit. I remember having some Kingsford charcoal, but not the grill, for I had loaned it to my wife's brother, Tim, a good guy and fellow drinker of brewski's when the opportunity arose.

When the bricks were squared off, we prepared our 'Hobo Hamburger' mix as follows:

1 OR 2 POUNDS OF GROUND CHUCK, NOT GROUND BEEF.

1 VIDALIA SWEET ONION.

2 BELL PEPPERS

1 CUP OF HEINZ WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE.

1 1/2 CUPS OF OLD FASHIONED QUAKER OATS.

in a bowl, preferably a wooden bowl, take the ground chuck and slowly mix in the chopped and diced sweet vidalia onion, bell pepper, Quaker oats, and Worcestershire sauce. DO NOT GET IN A HURRY. At moderate timing, mix the ingredients for about 10 to 15 minutes.

While you are mixing the ingredients, allow your charcoal to burn until they are a snow-white. Then place your 'Hobo Hamburger' patties on the grill, but in our case, we were blessed to find an old refrigerator shelf that was made like a small ladder taking the appearance of a grill. Place your hamburger patties with enough space between them to allow the right amount of heat to get to them as you turn them gently every five minutes and DO NOT CHAR-BURN the patties, but let them cook evenly to seal in the tasty juices of the ground chuck and other tasty ingredients.

About five minutes before you take the hamburger patties off of the grill, use single-sliced Kraft American cheese to lay on each hamburger patty. Or you can wait until you lay the sizzling hamburger patty on the bun with the cheese already in place. It doesn't matter.

My 'accidental' recipe of 'Hobo Hamburgers' served my buddy, Kenneth and I with two hefty-sized burgers each and our man-size appetites were satisfied.

You can adjust the amount of ground chuck, sweet vidalia onions, Quaker oats, bell pepper and Worcestershire sauce to accommodate the number of guests that you are entertaining.

Now in all honesty, our burgers did not look that good, but I can tell you that looks were not that important to my buddy, Kenneth and me. It was the taste of the burgers that counted.

And again, thank God, we hit the marks. The 'Hobo Hamburgers' were a form of 'manna from heaven.'