How to Open Annoying Plastic Containers
Why won't it just open?
We've all been there... it is lunch time and you are starving. You've been waiting all morning to finally get to your lunch break. You are really excited because you bought a new salad yesterday, and it's been in the fridge just waiting for you to eat it. By this point in the day, you are pretty hungry, so your patience is probably not at its best. You go the fridge and take out your salad. The only thing keeping you from experiencing salad bliss is the plastic container.
You try to open the plastic container. It can't be that difficult. It is a flimsy piece of plastic and you are an adult with some ability to open packages. The plastic container will not budge. You try to pry open the lid, but no success. You tear open the plastic along the side, but that doesn't help. You cut open the paper across the top, but damn it, this lid isn't opening! Do you need some help? Let's discuss how to open annoying plastic containers.
Step 1: Look for hidden clues.
When you are attempting to open a plastic container, always look for hidden clues on how to handle the situation. Many plastic containers now have snaps, strange clicking devices, hidden seals, and so much more. Carefully inspect the packaging to see if it has any of these additional fun "safety devices" added to the container.
At some point, companies must have determined government officials might like to eat all the food out from the containers, clean them, and then put top secret paperwork inside. Surely, this can be the only logic behind making these plastic containers so difficult to open. So assuming there is a good reason behind all this, just simply check out the container to see if you need to unzip, unsnap, unscrew, or "un" anything else on it.
If the plastic container is especially difficult to open, you may even find instructions on it. Reading the instructions can be helpful in any situation, so give that a try.
Step 2: Find a stronger person nearby.
If at all possible, look to see if you can find someone that might be a little stronger than you nearby. This can be the big, beefy guy that works out all the time at your office if you are trying to do this at work. If you don't have a big, beefy guy that works out all the time at the office, try to find someone else that is willing to give this a try.
If you are a female and you can find a male that likes to prove his manliness, there is a good chance you will get this container opened for you. Either that, or there will be a plastic container smashed all over a table soon.
Step 3: Start using a lot of profanity.
OK, this isn't going to open the plastic container, but you are going to feel so much better after doing this. Make sure to find new ways to use old favorite cuss words and you can make it a fun experience.
Step 4: Break out the sharp objects.
After nothing else has worked, the sharp objects need to come out. First, try using scissors. You might need to pry open the container or cut part of the plastic to get it to open. The sharper the scissors, the better. Just make sure to aim the scissors away from you because you don't want to cut yourself or stab yourself to get a plastic container open.
If the scissors don't work, get the knife. Once again, aim the knife away from your body. There is no need to practically die just to get a salad out of a plastic container. Try sawing the packaging open. If that doesn't work, once again, the prying method might just work in this situation. When all else fails, begin stabbing the container. Not only will this help you gain access to whatever is in the container, it will also help you take out your aggression on it. Now that you've shown it who is boss, it is time to eat. Enjoy!
Bonus Advice! How to Open a Child Proof Bottle
Just in case your problem has nothing to do with annoying plastic containers, but instead, your issue revolves around child proof bottles, I would like to help you, too. The solution to your problem is very simple. You just need to find a child. That is right. No one has mastered the technique of opening child proof bottles more than children! So find a kid and ask that little fellow to crack open that bottle of Tylenol for you. That is the best advice I can give on that one!
Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle
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