My 10 Most-Embarrassing Moments I Had Enjoying Breakfast Cereals
I need you to
Trust me on this one. I am not, repeat not, trying to get any sympathy from you, my much-appreciated followers. But you have to understand my background to fully understand why I am writing about breakfast cereals.
I was born in 1953. Elvis Presley was still "paying his dues," and Do Wop along with other forms of Rock and Roll were just hatching. My mom was a stay-at-home mom like most mom's in this era while my dad worked and made the living for us.
Do you remember this?
My dad and our first television
My dad was a terrific sharecropper and I say that with a heartful of pride. He did this work until the Federal Government and the U.S. Department of Agriculture passed some wacky law concerning land taxes and forced a lot of small farmers to go out of business. After this defeat, my dad went to work in a machine shop in a nearby town and worked there as a production machinist. Self-taught I might add.
So I can say with ease, "my family and I never really knew what prosperity really meant." Fact is, we never got our first television until 1965. It was a Zenith black and white, but it was like the finest, most-expensive color television on the market to me. I loved it. Long story short, television became a very large part of my young life.
This love of television also included the commercials. My favorite commercials were the ones that advertised breakfast cereal. Note: I did not want my hub to be flagged by HubPages for being overly-commercial, so I will not name the brands of cereal that are still around. I did not post any cereals that are still around either. I do not take chances anymore.
Cereal compared to Manna
When my dad started bringing home a regular paycheck and we could afford store-bought groceries every week, I shall always savor the very first mouthful of corn flakes I had ever ate. It was equivalent to manna that the Israelites ate during their 40-year journey in the wilderness. Yes, it was that good. I only wish (now) that the famous cereal company had discovered me as their kid commercial spokeschild to help sell their cereal over the airways.
But they didn't. And I still ate their cereal along with cereals made by other companies. But with all of my newly-found taste treats in that of cereals, there were some rather embarrassing moments that went with this new part of my diet.
So I proudly present for your nostalgic-entertainment . . .
My 10 Most-Embarrassing Moments I Had Enjoying Breakfast Cereals
10.) My Ill-Fated Yogi Bear - - impression was a moment that I never forgot. I loved the brand of breakfast cereal that Yogi endorsed, so one day when my parents were both at work, I tried to do like Yogi and consume a whole box of the cereal with his photo on the box. I was sick as a horse. I do not really know how sick a horse can get, but I tell you, I was pretty sick.
9.) A Sugary Surprise - - was all mine one morning when I was the first one up and man, was I famished. I instantly thought of my sugary cereal, not the one endorsed by Yogi Bear, but another cartoon icon. I opened the box hoping to get a quick mouthful of those sugary treats, but nothing came out. That was until I tapped the bottom of the box while holding it up to my mouth. Bam! Out came the sugary cereal all over my face, kitchen floor, and shirt. I just didn't know my own strength at 12 years of age.
8.) Soggy Bottom - - only applies to the hit film, "O Brother Where Art Thou," not breakfast cereal. I found this out the hard way one morning when I poured myself a huge bowl of a rice-based cereal and suddenly got interested in a Roy Rogers film. So interested that I forgot my bowl of cereal sitting on the kitchen table. When I remembered my cereal it was a mushy, gushy goo of rice-flavored milk. But I got most of it down and once again, I got sick as that same horse as mentioned above.
7.) Movie Snacks - - are popcorn, corn dogs, hot dogs, but not breakfast cereal in the pockets of your jeans. One night my brother-in-law and sister took us all to the drive-in that we had in our town. I did not know how long I would be without my tasty cereal, so I packed one of my jeans pocket full of sugary cereal. Long story short, mom almost had a stroke when she washed my jeans. I think you get my drift.
6.) No Games - - can be easily played by using breakfast cereals as basketballs. I know this now. One time during a break from doing homework and my parents not home, I got out my box of chocolate cereal and started throwing pieces of the cereal up in the air and catch it in my mouth. I caught five pieces. The living room floor beat me with 30 pieces on the rug.
5.) Be Gentle - - with females and respect them, my mom taught me. But I found out that this same teaching can apply to breakfast cereal. When pouring, first shake the box to unstick the contents. I never shook the box for being too hungry. Many is the time I saw my delicious cereal go quickly into the bowl, on the table and fall gently into the floor. No wonder my parents forbid me from having this treat in our house.
4.) Inventions - - like I tried with cereal boxes never caught on. I cut a small hole at the top of an unopened box of wheat-flavored cereal. I thought I was smart to not have to use the "real" tab made for opening. It did work once or twice, but on the third time, it spilled all over me and the couch where I was reclining watching my favorite television drama: "M Squad," starring Lee Marvin. I bet you that he never had this much humiliation when he ate cereal.
3.) Best Be Selfish - - to preserve your cereal. When my young nieces and their mom, (my sister), and her husband would visit us, the nieces had this knack of knowing exactly where I had wisely hidden my cereal. Sure enough when I shared with them, they ate the entire box and left me none. Oh, my sister swore that she would buy me another box. This was in 1966. I am still waiting.
2.) Making Cute - - "cereal toys" are best left to the pro's. I tried to create a few sugary balls to eat while watching television on Saturday morning. I grew tired of the stereotypical cereal with milk. A sugary cereal ball was novel. Yes, I was once again sick as the horse that obviously couldn't hold its cereal.
1.) New Isn't Always - - tasty. I found out quickly that one day while walking with my mom in the grocery store to buy our weekly groceries, I just had to try this "new" cereal. It was shredded and made from wheat. Hey, this will be great I thought. The photo of this stuff with white sugar on top made me very hungry. That was until that Saturday morning when I couldn't wait to have a few bowls of this wheat stuff. Mom and dad loved how red my face was when I took my first bite of this shredded wheat cereal.
"What is this, dry grass?" I managed to ask through the wheat sticking to the roof of my mouth.
"You asked for it, so eat it," mom replied while dad laughed and enjoyed his eggs, bacon, biscuits and coffee.
So ended my being in love with breakfast cereal. Oh, we parted as friends and even today "we" still talk often about times we had back in the day.
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