Should The Egg Bagel Be On The Endangered Species List?

Some might say that being Jewish has nothing to do with it but then I would disagree with those people (not uncommon if you read my blogs). On a recent Sunday morning I decided that although I’m a good 25 pounds overweight and knew it would throw me into a day of on the sofa sleeping and cable, I didn’t care, I was going to have a bagel with lox, cream cheese and the whole dealio. Now I have refrained from having these fixings (aside from a sad jar of capers from 1972 in my frige) so I knew I would have to go somewhere and just have them make my guilty pleasure for me. After debating the empty calories I was about to consume with my spouse (who eats anything he wants and still remains firmly intact) I asked if he wanted anything. All he was looking for was an egg bagel. Simple enough, right? Apparently not so simple, not so simple enough to make me wonder, “Should the egg bagel be on the endangered species list?” – Don’t Get Me Started!

I had other errands to run but make no mistake about it, the bagel business was the most important. I went to Einstein Bagels (who for those four people who don’t know, is a big chain bagel emporium). As I ordered my bagel with lox (the part I was going to be the more difficult) the boy with the plastic gloves took my order and then when I asked for the egg bagel he just stared at me. Finally words formed and he said, “We don’t make egg bagels.” Hmmm. Well, I wasn’t going to leave without my bagel and lox so I decided to get that there and then go to the grocery store across the street for the egg bagel (they have their own bakery in the grocery store where they make their own bagels). I walked to the bakery department at the back of the grocery store to find that much like Old Mother Hubbard, the cupboard was bare. That’s right, apparently they hadn’t made the bagels for the day yet so strike two. As I walked disgustedly out of the grocery store to my car it dawned on me that what I should have done all along was to go to the Jewish deli for all of it. You see other than the Bernie Madoff incident, we Jews know that when it comes to certain things you should only trust a fellow Jew. So as I raced into the deli and sailed past the old Jews who were hacking, arguing that the price of ruggulah had gone up four cents, I found a counter guy who was free. As he asked me what I wanted, I looked down only to find the basket that normally held the egg bagels was empty. In fact it was the only empty basket in the entire case which housed something like twelve hundred baskets of bagels that ranged in variety from plain to spinach with feta cheese. I’m sure my face had that look of a woman in her forties who has raised her kids and just found out she’s having twins (okay, a little too Desperate Housewives even for me). I guess the guy behind the counter saw my devastation when he told me they were sold out because he quickly agreed to go to the back to see if there were any more. When Jacob, Solomon or whatever the hell Jewish name this kid had came from the back with a full basket of egg bagels I wanted to not only thank him but move in with his parents (this deli is in a very influential neighborhood and I’m sure Jacob’s parents were loaded. Who cares that he wasn’t gay or that I wasn’t in the market, I was all ready imagining his mother’s brisket for Friday night dinner and whitefish on Sundays). And just like it made you uncomfortable reading that, it did the same for Jacob, he told me to meet him at the front counter to pay.

Now some may think that it was just my timing for the grocery store, my inability to be observant the last time I went to Einstein Bagels that they didn’t carry egg bagels but that is just too easy an answer. No, I’m not sure why but I think that there’s some dastardly plan in place to rid the world of egg bagels. Maybe they’ve discovered that bagels just don’t like to mate with eggs, I mean anything is possible, right? But I can’t sit back quietly and do nothing. I must kvetch. I kvetch to know that I’m alive. And who knows, maybe it’s just that egg bagels are so popular that they’re the first to go and they’re not on an endangered list at all but I can tell you this, the next time I want anything bagel oriented, I’ve learned my lesson. No more grocery stores or chain bagelries for this Jew, nope, I’m going direct to the source (like us Jews do, we’re all about G-d, not his son – always go to the Jew in charge) next Sunday when I need bagels I’ll do what we Jews always talk about on the holidays…Next Sunday in the holy land…the deli! Should the egg bagel be on the endangered species list? – Don’t Get Me Started!

 

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Comments 31 comments

dennisematt 7 years ago

I get Lender's egg bagels EVERY week, as they are my kids FAVORITE. Yes, they are frozen, but I can afford them, and they defrost nicely. And, I can buy a bunch all at once, and have them on hand for whenever I need one. Also, we dont have much for bakeries out here in the sticks where I live. I am one day going to try to make them myself..... someday....

If it ever comes down to it, I will join a cause to save the egg bagle!!


RedElf profile image

RedElf 7 years ago from Canada

While living in the wilds of Northern Alberta, one of the other teachers' wives, a friend from N.Y., made bagels for the whole bunch of us. They were amazing! That was the first bagel I ever had, and I still bless her for that as they are now a staple in our diet. I don't believe I've ever had an egg bagel, though.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Oy vey! What an ordeal for you! Glad you finally found your egg bagel. Mostly, I'm so glad you actually HAVE a decent deli where you live.

Sometimes you just gotta have the whole shebang. I don't do fish for breakfast myself but understand the craving. Note: Our bagel chain here in CA is Noah's Bagels. Unfortunately they are only in CA, WA and OR. But if you ever come west that is the place to get your bagels. I checked their website and there is a flavor called "Good Egg." Also a variety of delicious "schmears" including lox....


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas Author

MM, Thanks for the tip. I'll definitely look for them the next time I'm traveling to those parts!


Gary Buda 7 years ago

I agree, I can't find an egg bagel in town! Most frustrating. The Rabi who owned a deli went out of business and nobody else in town, that I know of, makes egg bagels. The last egg bagel I had was in a Cafe in a hotel in Philadelphia in April, 2009.

I may have to resort to making my own egg bagels. I refuse to buy the frozen ones, and, yes, I have found a couple grocery stores that sell frozen egg bagels. And, there are grocery stores that don't have frozen egg bagels either. It is like there is a conspiracy or something.


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Gary - I feel your pain. I finally found my egg bagel but I had to go through hell and back to find it. Here's hoping the fates smile upon you on finding one too...or you open a shop with the bagels you begin to make as a result of this experience...I'd call it, "Egg Bagel Lives Here!"


KinH 5 years ago

Living in what is considered a largely Jewish community in the southwest of Houston, Texas I thought satisfying my craving for a fresh egg bagel would be easy. I was wrong ... apparently I am crazy for thinking such a thing ... my quest for a Salt bagel is apparently just as crazy. So sad that in a day where you can get a Basil and Sundried Tomato Bagel at the local Randall's you can't find the basic Egg Bagel. Very very sad indeed :-(


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 5 years ago from Las Vegas Author

kinH - You poor thing, I finally found a deli that has egg bagels AND salt bagels. Ooooh, you reminded me just how much I loves me some salt bagels!! So thanks for reading, commenting and best of luck on your quest!!


Bagel 5 years ago

I can get amazing, fresh egg bagels here in brooklyn, 24/7, for 20 cents each.


Oy Vey! 5 years ago

Your resulting to Einstein Bagels is laughable. Your inability to find good egg bagels shows that you need to look in a REAL city, not some backwater chain place. Don't you have any taste?

And your constant references to the overly-cliche Jewish-whine about bagels is STALE. You need to drop that schtick, its not flattering.


Me 4 years ago

I can't find any egg bagels at any store in chicago. What is going on! The only place I can go is NYC bagel and big thanks to them.


Ugh! 4 years ago

Dear Somelikeitscott,

1990 called... It wants it's "self-hating Jew" schtick back.

This is the dumbest blog-post I've ever read.


Flag Waving American 4 years ago

Im getting an emergency c-section to remove Facebook from Latden's father.


Janna 4 years ago

In true Jewish tradition, I prefer my egg bagels with fried ham and cheese or bacon and Swiss.

Simply delicious!


HEY GUYS 4 years ago

WHERE DO I GET BAGEL


Gottlieb 4 years ago

What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go."


Nancy 4 years ago

Why did the bagel lose the election?

Because he was the victim of a schmear campaign.


Ludofone 4 years ago

A Jewish boy come home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful? What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "You go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."


HEY GUYS 4 years ago

IS BAGEL LIKE DONUT?


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 4 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Thank you one and ALL for the fabulous jokes here! I love 'em all!!! Just went this morning to get the whole bagel and lox at a place I've gone to forever and discovered they're "under new management" they also didn't have egg bagels! Arghhh!! The angst continues but your jokes keep me laughing about it all. Again, thanks everyone!!


Listen to Reason 4 years ago

“Should the egg bagel be on the endangered species list?”

No.... Because its nowhere near "endangered". Not even rare! Just because YOU can't find them, well, that doesn't mean they're rare, that just means you're looking in the wrong place. It's most likely a regional thing, cause where I live, they're practically ubiquitous. They ate in any major city as well.

So yeah, just cause they're not as common wherever you live, that's not exactly justification to make the outrageously exaggerated claim that "OMG THEY'RE ENDAAAAANGERED!"


HELLO? 4 years ago

PLEASE TELL ME IS BAGEL LIKE DONUT???


HELLO? 4 years ago

THIS IS NOT HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER! WHY NOBODYTELL ME ANSWER YET? I NEED KNOW PLEASE IS BAGEL LIKE DONUT???


Egg bagel-hunter 4 years ago

@Listen to Reason: Yes it's a regional thing, bt it's no less frustrating when you simply can't find them. I live in northern TX and have the same problem. Finally found a store that had them - and I willingly drove 40 minutes to get there once in awhile, only to have them stop making them. I'm currently in Austin and will be stalking delis all day to try to track some down...


missing egg bagels 4 years ago

A waiter checks on his table full of Jewish women.."Is anything ok?"


Jack 4 years ago

This is the most pointless, self-absorbed wall of text I've ever seen. I hereby demand you apologize for writing it.

And HEY GUYS/HELLO ... sorry if I'm too late to help you, but yes, Bagel is exactly like Donut. They are one and the same.


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 4 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Jack - you don't know Jack! A bagel only shares the shape of a donut. The texture, ingredients, etc. are not the same. If they were the same they'd both be called the same thing. But perhaps in your mind pointing this out is pointless too. Good try though...now move on.


Satn Jett 4 years ago

I have egg bagels smuggled across the border. They are illegal in Maryland because of the eggs.


HELLO 4 years ago

IF BAGEL IS NOT LIKE DONUT THEN WHY DOES THIS PAGE POP UP WHEN I GOOGLE "IS A BAGEL LIKE A DONUT"??

BAGELS AND DONUTS ARE IDENTICAL, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING???


NOM 4 years ago

Where can I get doughnut-flavored bagels in Vancouver?


somelikeitscott profile image

somelikeitscott 4 years ago from Las Vegas Author

Bagel vs Doughnut - same shape completely different texture, taste and ingredients. Have no idea why it would come up on a doughnut search!

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