Smoked Trout Creams

Smoked Trout Creams

Few topics spark Internet interest like Smoked Trout Creams. Without question, Pomegranate resources, Fake Rolex Watches, and Free Keyword Information also generate huge traffic, but Smoked Trout Creams seem to trigger a visceral response in people from Kokomo to Laos. Deep in our DNA percolate ancient left-handed amino acids generating unbridled urges toward all things smokey, trouty, and creamy.

Resident Smoked Trout Creams expert Mark Knowles provides us with luscious recipes for cooking the stuff. His expertise centers around actually preparing the fish for consumption. To this author, the thought of yanking one of Gods creatures out of a cool running brook, slitting it open, extracting the guts, sprinkling on a few spices, and eating it makes about as much sense as rollerblading with Manatees. We can only speculate as to what goes through the mind of such an adorably harmless water-breather as he endures this medieval torture simply because he was unfortunate enough to taste good with butter and horseradish. No doubt the Manatee would also be annoyed.

Cream of Trout?

Does cream of trout resemble creamed corn? We haven't run across smoked creamed corn at Wal Mart, but we understand that WalMartians absolutely adore fish sticks. Industrial-sized quantities of frozen and battered fish parts can be loaded into shopping carts for transport to the U-Scan, then loaded into the F250 for future consumption. Perhaps a little barbecue sauce dabbed onto a Mrs Pauls Premium Stick remotely qualifies as smoked trout.

Not a smoked cream trout, rather a trout about to be creamed by a Helsinki Smash Rod.
Not a smoked cream trout, rather a trout about to be creamed by a Helsinki Smash Rod.

Smoked Trout in Cream

Just to clarify; somewhere in the world a professional chef or a backyard grill pit warrior strives to master the art of Smoked Trout in Cream. There may well be a Food Channel After School Special dedicated to such a delicacy. Exposing the expired trout to smoke can't be much of a challenge; hang it in the fireplace on Christmas morning as the wrapping paper burns. After a thorough smoking, many creamy options present themselves. Stroll through the Sam's Club dairy department; many products contain cream or a cream-like product. A smokey trout becomes dunkable when you haven't eaten for 3 or 4 days.

Streamy Trout?

Is it possible a typographical error has been committed? Perhaps all the Fol-de-Rol is misguided. Better fisherman than I suggest that streamy trout offer more satisfaction that creamy trout. Oncorhynchus clarki present angling challenges rivaling any masterpiece concocted by the greatest sous chef in New Orleans.

Try this simple experiment.

  • Rustle up a nice smoked cream trout. Make sure it's fresh, juicy, and succulent. Follow Mark's recipe, or not.
  • Find yourself a babbling book in the Pacific Northwest.
  • Instead of a trout fly, attach the smoked cream trout to your hook.
  • Perform a heroic cast into the rushing waters.
  • Reel in your smoked trout in a desultory manner. Note that the cream has washed away.

Observe that the thing puts up no fight whatsoever. What a disappointment, yes? By the way, be prepared to run for your life should a wild bear catch the scent of your smoked cream trout.

Conclusion

Helsinki Smash Rod courtesy of Hal Licino.

No trout were harmed in the making of this hub, but thinking about creamed fish made me gag on my Fruit Loops.

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Comments 8 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Well done :-)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@msorensson: better than raw, I guess. ;)


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV

nicomp,

I think creamy trout over biscuits sounds quite yummy!!!!!!!!!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

How about seamy trout - they live on the wrong side of the stream. Or dreamy trout - they all resemble that actor who plays Dr. McDreamy on TV.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: Prepare to be plagiarized. :)


maven101 profile image

maven101 6 years ago from Northern Arizona

Creamy trout, gives me the gout,

I much prefer pan fried...

A glass of wine, a snarky rhyme,

to toast this Hub you plied...

Nicomp...you continue to amaze with the esoteric and eclectic subjects of your Hubs...Keep hubbin'...Larry


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@maven101: Smoked Trout Limericks. Pure genius. :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

59 views. Sigh. I thought it was funny. Smoked Trout Cream. Yuk.

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