The Creating of Irish Pizza

Tonight I made dinner. This is nothing exceptional, as we are quite normal and do eat dinner every night, and most often, I am the one who makes it. The unique thing came in the making thereof.

We were having pizza, but not the elaborate kind that takes me two hours. Okay, so I let it get a little out of hand sometimes, but homemade pizza is only good when it is completely gourmet. Or perhaps I'm just picky. But no, this was the very-cheating kind of pizza, where you slice loaves of french bread in half from one end to the other and put all of the fixin's on from there. We are talking so easy that Julia Child would blush to see her cookbook on a shelf in the kitchen where that was being prepared. But we had the ingredients on hand--bread, leftover marinara, and cheese and pepperoni in the freezer. So I turned Julia's face to the wall and got going.

Five minutes later, there I was, subjecting my pepperonis to the tortures of broil. And oh, how they writhed and sizzled from the heat. Yet, though the pepperoni curled and died in agony, yea, still the cheese would not melt. I was most perplexed and kerflummexed. So the broiler was deprived of it's victims for a moment while I investigated this mysterious cheese. And as I poked at it and sniffed, and finally had to taste test, I learned the mozzarella's secret--It wasn't mozzarella at all.

It was potatoes. Grated hash browns, that look very much like mozzarella cheese, more exactly. And hash browns, you know, don't melt.

So the creativity had to begin to flow. After all, what do you do with hash brown pepperoni pizza? I did what every self-respecting pizza maker would do. I got out the real cheese from the fridge. We only had a little bit left, but it was real cheese. I knew this, because it said so, all across the front of the bag, and there was a very idyllic looking picture of cows grazing in a field. Not exactly the stuff of which potato bags are made. So I divided it into little bits and put it on each pizza. Then came Parmesan, then basil.

And now it is time for confession. I salted the pizza. I know, it's a food naturally high in sodium. But potatoes, people! Unsalted potatoes are disgusting! And so, knowing that Julia would never show her face in my kitchen again, I got out the salt shaker. And I shook. And guess what? Everyone liked it! We had no leftovers, not one little bit. So perhaps, this is not the worst pizza topping idea in the illustrious history of that food, but rather the birth of a new culinary sensation.

I think I'll call it Irish Pizza.

Sans potatoes...
Sans potatoes...

More by this Author

Comments 13 comments

Rose West profile image

Rose West 5 years ago from Michigan

Very funny :) And actually, potato pizza sounds pretty good!

Jane Grey profile image

Jane Grey 5 years ago from Oregon

Laughing all the way through! Not just at what you did, but at how cleverly you told it.

I'll have to try your Irish pizza sometime! :)

Anaya M. Baker profile image

Anaya M. Baker 5 years ago from North Carolina

I am Irish, but not sure if I'm adventurous enough to try it. Great story though! And I have to admit, it does look pretty tasty in the photo...

Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Hash browns on pizza! Gosh I love pizza, so i may try it.Funny hub! sharing!

collegatariat profile image

collegatariat 4 years ago Author

Thanks Victoria! Sometimes it's the accidents in the kitchen that make the best recipes.

seo4site profile image

seo4site 4 years ago

Yammyyyyy)) thanks

rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Looks toooooo Yum ... and very cheesy... a delight on the taste buds!

I would love to have a slice! You told it in a brilliant humorous way though!

eatforcheaper profile image

eatforcheaper 4 years ago from London

Haha cool hub! I love potatoes so much and eggs. Eggs have been done on pizza and they work so there's no reason why potatoes can't! I will try this one day - thanks!

collegatariat profile image

collegatariat 4 years ago Author

Thank you for the comment seo4site!

collegatariat profile image

collegatariat 4 years ago Author

Thank you rahul0324-- I wish I still had some to share! Glad you enjoyed the telling.

collegatariat profile image

collegatariat 4 years ago Author

Now eggs on potatoes on the same pizza would be breakfast pizza gone right! I'll have to give that one a try some time-- thanks for the idea eatforcheaper!

eatforcheaper profile image

eatforcheaper 4 years ago from London

Now you're encouraging me to try that too! Maybe a bit of bacon as well haha!

collegatariat profile image

collegatariat 4 years ago Author

Sounds like a great idea! :)

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article