Undercover Prunes - A Poem About Dried Plums And Fiber

The new prune is a dried plum.

Undercover Prunes - By Ben Zoltak


There is a secret on the street, in the alleyway, in the woods.

Whispers hidden behind snickering faces, making even carnivores blush.

Something so old fashioned, something that brings old folks gains

Something old as they say is new again,

A prize surprise for your insides.


Salesmen understand it

Marketers too

Dietitians applaud it

And so might you

When you bite into one you will see

This rambling explosion of earthly taste waiting like a fibrous tree.


Lurking in the shadows of dried fruit history

Is the oft mocked Prune

A wrinkled monument to good health a natural supplement of fiber

Whose name is now soiled with the pigeon droppings of cynics and fast food diners.


I don my dark glasses

I reach inside my briefcase

To you I will reveal an International secret

Born out of France and smuggled into California

Here my friend, gaze upon this rugged Dried Plum

It's taste is uncanny, like an entire season of plump fruits rolled into one acorn sized marvel


Yes it's true, this Dried Plum was formerly the Prune

But times have changed and the Prune has fallen out of favor

The Prune recalls thrift and ardor and peasantry

The Prune isn't glorious, or vain or full of status.


Mother natures assassin to franchised armies of constipation

Like stealthy cloaked guards bearing Vitamin A and Potassium

Like code breakers destroying fiber smart trans fat blockades

Like skip tracers of fiber diet seeking cavalcades


So enjoy this secret I have bequeathed unto you

Enjoy this delicious secret Dried Plum

This undercover Prune, will reveal health and renew your life

Despite the laughter of comedians and snobs

These undercover Prunes, these Dried Plums are working for you.


More by this Author


Comments 17 comments

tobey100 profile image

tobey100 6 years ago from Whites Creek, Tennessee

I'm not much for poetry but, dang, this one's pretty good.


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA Author

thanks man. My heart is too cynical to write much poetry, but once in awhile it's good to let it all hang out!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

It is gorgeous and laughed so much. Thank you.


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

Got a chuckle from me...I still call them prunes. May I link it to one I am writing right now? It's about nurses...supposed to be funny.


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Good job, Ben. Prunes have always gotten a bad rap and have been the butt (no pun intended) of constipation jokes. Smart move (no pun intended) by the "dried plum" folks to change the marketing strategy!

Great poem, BTW - poetry in motion:)


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA Author

Thanks everybody, always makes me feel good when I can make people laugh a little.

Tammy, go for it!

Green Lotus, thanks, I'm always fighting for the underdog, or the underprune in this case...


cheaptrick profile image

cheaptrick 6 years ago from the bridge of sighs

Hi Ben,are you ready for my strange humor comment?

I'm E Mailing the Dole company cause I think you should get a commission.I rushed out and bought a bunch of em and ate em all up.........................

I'm finishing this comment on my wireless key board from the bathroom...........

My only criticism is when you mentioned "assassin of constipation",you should have included SPEED....

My GF just left muttering something about a gas mask...


LeonJane profile image

LeonJane 6 years ago from Australia

Awesome poem, I am going to ad a link to your poem from my poem hub on Apricots and Prunes.

Also it's funny how a Plum when dried becomes a Prune, then when dried even further and salted they become Salty Plums!


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA Author

cheaptrick, I am ready and thank you for letting it all out! haha! If you really did email the Dole company Gawd bless ya. Either way I'm glad you liked my homage.

Leonjane, never heard of salty plums, but I believe it! Link away!!!


fiksy02 profile image

fiksy02 6 years ago from London

hum nice hub Ben you should write more of this. wish i had some poem on plums too so i can link to yours


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA Author

Thanks fiksy! Funny, I just wrote this one on the fly, I was so inspired by how good the dried plum tasted, and laughed when I realized it was the same as a prune. Thanks for your inspiring encouragement!


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

Nice poem. If I make a hub request for a poem about kiwi, what can you give us? (Sorry, I just couldn't resist....)

This was a fun read! Your light-heartedness (could that possibly be a word?) shines through nicely.


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA Author

Thanks Mike means a lot coming from you, having a solid writing voice yourself! Thanks for the kudos, I would love to write about kiwis so be careful what you wish for!!!


ralwus 6 years ago

Well now, the mantra of us seniors. LOL I do love 'em so, but not for that. I am pretty regular anyway. This is hucking filarious my friend. Love it. thanks Ben


Ben Zoltak profile image

Ben Zoltak 6 years ago from Lake Mills, Jefferson County, Wisconsin USA Author

Thanks Ralwus, glad you liked it. I aim to please, you aim too please!!!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

good job, and it is still a prune hehe, Maita


Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 6 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

Hey Ben!!!

Nice piece of Healthy poetry you got there!

It even gave the cravings for prunes, hehehe!

Two thumbs up, Friend!

Cheers!

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