Uniflame Grill Story.

Uniflame gas grill parts are very popular as people enjoy the grills and choose to repair them rather than replace them.  I have published users manuals, parts diagrams, exploded repair instructions and instructional articles.  This one was submitted by a "fan" and it is a little odd but I am going to publish it for him and hope you will tell me what you think with the comments section at the bottom.

Melvyn had bushy eyebrows. I say "had", but of course there is no worry that "has" will come back around in due time. Melvyn is an open flame sort of barbecue master and his dedication to the art provided the zestiest moment at his barbecue last week, and that's even if you include the rub he put together. To make up for the joviality we all felt at the time, Melvyn and his wife Myra were invited to our place this week with a special concoction of his famous rub just for use on our gas grill. Of course, I doubt that the rub has anything different in it just because we use a gas contraption instead of a hickory spit, but Melvyn is the last holdout in the neighborhood so we all agreed that it was good idea for his mastery with spice to overcome our submission to new fangled and less troublesome grilling equipment. It was the least we could do.

I have a new gas grill that I picked up last month. It's a Uniflame job, with shiny polished aluminum doors and a burner on the right side for heating up side dishes while the main event sizzles under the hood. It's beautiful. Of course, it's been at least a generation since such a modern looking aberration would be considered actual sacrilege in these parts. It'll be another generation still before the envy and admiration felt by old school barbecuers no longer has to putter around a detour of institutional disapproval before it can roll, brakes squeaking, out of the mouth as a compliment with kids and dogs spilling out of the doors to trample the lawn. Melvyn is a holdout. He still hasn't brought himself to get around the detour, and always has lots to say about how the road was just fine before all the fixin' started. I doubt he'll ever give up his hickory spit.

That doesn't mean he isn't curious about my new grill, he just doesn't like to admit it. So while we sipped our beers and stood around the Uniflame, Melvyn opened this and touched that, sort of idly, like he was inspecting the finishing touches on a perfect job that he'd done a thousand times and knew it was perfect. It was a habitual sort of mute admiration for his own handiwork at times, and a face-saving way now to both ask about the grill and to express admiration -- again, without admitting anything. So I opened the hood and began my own sort of idle inspection of the inside, making like I was checking that it was all ready to go while we chatted about so and so's daughter working at the Piggly Wiggly now and how long her brother might get in the county jail for that cute stunt he pulled on the mayor with an old out house.

As I was checking the burner to make sure there were no blockages, Melvyn ran his hand over the heat shield and allowed as to how it was a little thin to withstand a lifetime of heat, and wouldn't that ruin my new grill long before the rest of it rusted away? "Naw -- ", I let out. "I can always order a new one off of their website." Melvyn has a computer. He's a good backyard mechanic and says he uses it to order parts for his customers' cars, although we all suspect that the bumpers he checks out online aren't always automotive kind, if you get my meaning.

"Does one size fit all, or do you have to order the shield accordin' to which model grill you have?"

Melvyn seemed to be considering a new sideline to his automotive repair sideline, which was a natural outgrowth of his always-at-home mainline. Melvyn is good with hands and everyone trusts him to fix a thing properly, so he keeps the mortgage paid without the benefit of supervision by a boss or a time-clock. Of course, in order to really understand what he would be doing, he'd have to get a contraption and grill with it from time to time, now wouldn't he? So I gave him the catalogue to look at while I put the meat on the grill.

"What exactly does this here heat shield do, besides keep the meat from burnin'?" he asked. He said this while bent over the grill observing the process. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead, its path unmolested as it halted along his browline and seemed to consider which fork to take on this new road.

"Well Melvyn, it spreads the heat out so you get a convection thing going when the lid is closed. It also keeps the grease from cloggin' the burner, and it sort of helps to smoke the meat when the drippings hit it. It is a pretty handy little feature. An' if you're worried about it burning up, you can order a ceramic one instead of stainless steel."

He gave a "hmmm.." sound and wiped the confused bead of sweat from his brow as he considered the ramifications. He straightened up and carefully lowered the lid to allow the smoke to flavor the meat. I slowly stirred the pot of beans on the side burner.

"Same thing with the burner," I added. "You can order replacements of those too, and even order different types."

"Well," he began as he stretched, beer in one hand and the catalogue in the other, "think I'll sit down here and rest my back for a minute." The beans were nearly done. Melvyn crossed one leg over the other, put his beer in the chair's built-in holder, and opened the catalog to peruse the possibilities.

Later as they left, I saw that Myra had the catalog sticking out of the side pocket of her purse. Later my wife told me she had been chatting with Myra in the kitchen after dinner over coffee about Melvyn's eyebrows and the potential of makeup to mute the effect of baldness under the brim of his cap. It looked like there might be progress in the neighborhood, after all. Melvyn was a tough nut to crack.

As for the secret of the rub, forget it. We hadn't pried that out Melvyn even when he still had his eyebrows, let alone now that he has a score to settle for his conversion. It'll probably take all summer to have an even money shot at the recipe again.