Vegetarian Recipes For Men (and women)

As men, we tend to crave hearty food, the meat and potatoes kind of food momma used to make. But what happens when for one reason or another, we decide to become or have to become a vegetarian? How are we going to get that kind of stick to your ribs feeling we got from a juicy steak or a plate of fried chicken? Well, by making the foods we usually enjoy with only one or two vegetarian substitutions that’s how. Substituting soy for meat doesn’t sound very hearty but once you put it in my delicious recipes, you will almost not even notice. I say almost because no soy product perfectly matches real meat but some sure come close and taste great. So try my recipes. Once you find the ones you like most, you’ll have some satisfying dishes that will make you wonder why you ever ate meat in the first place.

Manly Mashed Potato Loaf

1 12oz package of Morning Star Farms Crumbles or your favorite soy product

1/4 tsp pepper

2 tbsp sesame oil

1 tsp tarragon

2 tbsp soy sauce

10 Russet potatoes, peeled and boiled

1/4 cup soy margarine

1 large onion, finely chopped

1/4 lb. mushrooms, finely chopped

1 green pepper, finely chopped

1 garlic clove, finely chopped

½ cup cheddar cheese, shredded

1/4 cup parmesan, grated

1 tsp. parsley

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Thaw Crumbles, set aside. Saute onion and garlic several minutes then add peppers and mushrooms, simmer for 2 minutes. Add Crumbles to saute mixture and simmer 5-10 minutes, adding soy sauce and tarragon while stirring. Mash boiled potatoes and add pepper and soy margarine. Oil large loaf tin and put ½ of the potatoes in it. Add the meat mixture for the next layer and sprinkle with 1/4 cup of cheddar cheese, next add remainder of the potatoes and top with the rest of the cheddar cheese. Then sprinkle with parmesan and parsley. Bake for 45 minutes. Makes 6-8 servings

A vegetarian asks a guy devouring a steak cooked rare, "Why don’t all meat eaters kill their own meat and eat it raw?"

The man looks up from his feast and replies, "Because that would be gross!"

Brut Force Chili

1 12oz package of Morning Star Farms Crumbles or your favorite soy product

1 large onion, finely chopped

2 tbsp soybean oil

1 28oz can crushed tomatoes

1 large green pepper, chopped

½ cup carrots, finely chopped

1 ½ tbsp chili powder

1 tsp. Ground cumin

Dash of soy sauce

1 20 oz can of red kidney beans, drained

1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

Thaw Crumbles, set aside. Saute the onion and garlic in oil until tender but not browned. Add Crumbles to onion and garlic and simmer for 15 minutes. Add tomatoes, peppers, carrots, chili powder, cumin and soy sauce. Bring to boil and then simmer for 10 minutes. Add beans and reheat. Makes 4-6 servings.

A man is moaning with pleasure in the middle of a corn field. Two guys see the man and one asks the other, "What’s wrong with that guy in the corn field?"

The other guy looks, immediately recognizes the man in the field, and says, "Oh him? He’s an orgasmic farmer."

Macho Mostaciolli

1 12oz package of Morning Star Farms Crumbles or your favorite soy product

3 cups of spaghetti sauce

½ cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1/4 cup romano cheese, grated

1 16oz box of mostaciolli noodles

Thaw crumbles, set aside. Boil and drain noodles and set aside. Prepare spaghetti sauce. Oil a 2 quart casserole dish and combine noodles, Crumbles, sauce and ½ of the mozzarella cheese. Top with the rest of the cheese (romano and mozzarella) and bake for 30 minutes at 325 degrees. Makes 6-8 servings.

Two cats are talking at the litter box one day and one says, "I love America."

The other cat asks, "Meow too. It’s great to live in a free country full of opportunity and..."

The first cat interrupts, "No, no, I love America because Americans don’t eat cats."

Toxic Taquitos (they aren’t really toxic)

1 12oz package of Morning Star Farms Crumbles or your favorite soy product

8-10 corn tortillas

1 15.5oz can of pinto beans, drained

1 15.5oz can of enchilada sauce

1 medium onion, finely chopped

2 jalapeno peppers, finely chopped

2 cups of cheddar cheese, shredded

Salsa or hot sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a sauce pan, mix Crumbles, enchilada sauce, pinto beans, onion, and jalapeno pepper until thoroughly heated. Add cheese and melt in to mixture. Spoon mixture on to tortillas evenly. Roll tortillas, you may want to close them with toothpicks. Place taquitos on a cookie sheet and bake for 5-10 minutes or until tortillas are crispy. Serve with salsa or hot sauce, top with cheese if desired. Makes 4-5 servings.

I don’t eat anything with feet. I know where those feet have been.

DISCLAIMER: Ladies, please do not take offense to any of the food names, jokes, or anything else in this article. These are merely recipes to encourage more men to become vegetarians and perhaps lose that beer belly. Now what women doesn’t want that?

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