Advice to get past a hard time

1. 84

   romper20posted 13 years ago

   One of my friends past away this past Wednesday. I am feeling sadness and pressure build up in me and I'm trying to find a way to understand or have an outlet to something that can spiritually connect the answer...
   
   Your friend,
   
   Romper20

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      Ladybythelake55posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have been there and done that. Nothing is more heart breaking than losing a friend be it funny and four legged or a friend that is two legged and has been there for you all the time. I am still grieving over the loss of so many friends including my funny friend. Hang in there and have courage.

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2. 69

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Hey romper, Grief is a funny thing in itself and usually has a time-window. If you haven't cried, then I suggest you do. My condolences for your loss of a friend. Hopefully you enjoyed your time with them and have great memories to draw spiritual love from.
   
   Good luck.

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3. 62

   Dale Mazurekposted 13 years ago

   As a person who knows grief you need to give yourself as much time as you need.
   
   Death really sucks and unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it.  Go ahead and have a cry and remember the good times.  Each day will get a little easier.
   
   Dale

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   1. 59

      FreeFlaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Death only sucks for the those left behind.

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4. 85

   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   sorry to hear Romper. losing a friend at a young age is tough, I'm not sure there is a way to understand. give yourself time to remember him, maybe even write a hub about your friendship as a tribute, or if you don't want to make it public, you could write it in a journal. we all find different ways to deal with grief, and I've certainly had my share, so I empathize.
   find that 'space' where you feel safe and connected to him, whether through meditation or doing something he enjoyed doing, a photograph, being outside in nature. for myself, I have found deep solace in nature, real living things around me.
   get lots of love from your pet, they're very understanding of our feelings. best to you, and may your friend rest in peace.

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   1. 59

      FreeFlaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      great advice

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5. 74

   barryrutherfordposted 13 years ago

   I agree entirely with all that has been posted grief is a process and no a state.  time  & allowing your feelings to flow is the best idea...

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   1. 84

      romper20posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      God Bless all of you,
      
      Thanks for taking the time, I'm going to take a walk with my dog in this woods and slowely do this everyday I've concluded. I will make it a special time for him. I want to celebrate his life, and feel connected to understanding.
      
      Cagsil, Dale, RebekahELLE, and barry thanks for your time.
      
      Romper

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   2. 0

      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      i agree completely.
      
      i wish you all the best Romper and hope you feel better again soon.

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6. 60

   katiem2posted 13 years ago

   It's hard but remember it can happen at anytime, I've lost my Dad, Sister, 3 dear friends and all very young, you never stop feeling the void and wondering.  Peace be with you my friend

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7. 69

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   You're quite welcome. Best wishes.

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8. 0

   Precious Williamsposted 13 years ago

   Romper, I agree with all the things that the others have said.  Grief is such an individual experience and you can't stop yourself from going through it.  I hope that you have found or will find the peace you are seeking.

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9. 68

   Rod Marsdenposted 13 years ago

   A walk along a beach can sometimes help or, I should say, it helps me when I'm sad. Maybe it will help you too. If you are closer to bushwalking country maybe that's the answer.

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10. 62

    Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

    Wow. So sorry for your loss!
    There are no easy answers or ways to work through grief. So many great comments ahead of me, and it shows the kind of high caliber people in the community.
    
    But for what it's worth, I'm sending you kindest and best thoughts.

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11. 66

    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    If you are having a hard time coping, try a bereavement group.  It's also a good idea to be busy and surround yourself with friends if you feel alone.

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12. 60

    carolegalassiposted 13 years ago

    Sometimes our lack of knowing what happens after death can be stressful during a time of loss. Its really normal what your going through and is considered part of the healing process in which you will experience many emotions.
    
    If you want to learn or understand more about what happens after death, where we go, why bad things happen to good people, etc. I've always found scripture to be helpful. In rough times, I am always drawn to my faith because that is the anchor in which keeps me afloat in times of despair.
    
    I create funeral programs for a living so I deal with death everyday by talking to people who have just recently lost someone. Sometimes finding a friend who has a tender ear can be a vent or help for you when you have emotions suppressed. I would also seek clergy or a friend who is strong in a faith for some spiritual guidance.

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13. 75

    Zubair Ahmedposted 13 years ago

    The best way I can think of is to pray for the person that you have lost.  It will help you come to terms with their loss.  There is a power/creator above us all and we need to turn to him (genderless) in times of needs.

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