break up

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   ashlyn97posted 13 years ago

   how do you guys deal with breakups????????

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   goldenpathposted 13 years ago

   Well, when I know the plaque is breaking up on my teeth when brushing I endeavor to continue the motions till all the cavity creeps have been obliterated.

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3. 60

   brianzenposted 13 years ago

   I never know if I really am or not so I have grown some extra skin. however the best thing if its unavoidable is lean towards what that person makes you want in another, I may be breaking up right now, but love is not the issue. She is so negative that I cannot even try to please her anymore without being sucked into it. I never get my "needs" met anymore and I feel like being positive is like an invitation to a fight. But I cannot say ever that it is all her fault, so my biggest problem is Is It Time?

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4. 87

   AdeleCosgroveBrayposted 13 years ago

   I suspect that a large part of today's dating problems stems from people trying to launch an adult relationship with someone before they even know if they can be friends.
   
   When lovers realise they're incompatible, they tend to blame each other for failing to live up to a fantasy.  If people had taken time to genuinely learn about each other, their personalities, their ambitions, their opinions on everything, their wider family lives, etc., then they wouldn't make so many mistakes in their choice of girlfriend/boyfriend.

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   tobey100posted 13 years ago

   Can't help.  Never broke up.  Married the first girl I dated at 19.  After she passed away I married the second young lady I'd ever dated and we've been married 35 years.  Yep, I'm a freak!

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      watchyaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sure you are !

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         tobey100posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks for the affirmation. 

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   ilmdamailyposted 13 years ago

   Alcohol helps.
   
   Put simply, I don't "deal with breakups."
   
   But a technique i've found useful is to consciously be easy on myself. It's so easy to fall in the trap of low self-esteem and harsh self-talk. Eventually you begin to believe the things you tell yourself and feel even worse.
   
   The answer - at least part of it - is to be kind to yourself. Just broken up with someone? Take a holidy by yourself. Go see a movie by yourself. Hell, if you can stand the odd looks, go to a nice restaraunt by yourself. You'll never be able to fault the company, and you can actually concentrate on the wonderful taste of the food. The point is to do something good for yourself that you would really enjoy and that you don't get to do very often.
   
   Some of the best "dates" i've ever had have been with myself Never have to worry about who's paying, or where i'll spend the night
   
   Oh dear - given away a little bit much there.

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      watchyaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      I am my best friend

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         himnishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Its really good.

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   liljen23posted 13 years ago

   I don't deal with break ups easily but I try my best to keep it off my mind once I let my feelings out and cry about it. I always bring myself around friends and talk about getting over the relationship. I always come to know that I have to deal with it.

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   donotfearposted 13 years ago

   Well, well....
   I never dealt with breakups well unless I was the one who ended it.  So I guess that means I have a problem with rejection. 
   I always took my Mom's advice. 
   "Go out, have a good time, smile, act happy." 
   (Exactly what I did)
   
   She also told me: "Never call him if he 'stands you up' or doesn't come through with a commitment."
   (This was hard but I was always more afraid of what I'd find out if I DID call first than if I didn't!)
   
   She said: "If he wants to talk to you, he will. People do what they want to do..so if he wants to see you, he will."
   (Dang, this really hurt, but it's true, gosh darnit)
   
   And her best advice: "Blow him off...have nothing to do with him!"  (Easier said than done)
   
   Gosh, my Mom was right!!!! She was always right.
   Deal with breakup in your own way. Just don't be destructive, outwardly or inwardly.  If you still hurt too bad after a few weeks, heck, go see a counselor!  For real.

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