Humor

1. 78

   Pestposted 15 years ago

   Is there or has there ever been a "humor" topic here?  It should fall just after honeymoon and somwhere before divorce.  Just curious.  Thanks!

   replyreport
2. 58

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   I think you just started one! LOL so might as well keep it going

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Chris, what shall I ever talk about?

      replyreport
      1. 58

         Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         lemme see...describe your avatar! there must be a story to it and not just random thing from the top of your head! or is it...? i'm quitting your fan club! LOL

         replyreport
         1. 78

            Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Once a fan always a fan!  You may never leave.  Also, Never question the avatar, NEVAR!!!!!

            replyreport
            1. 58

               Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               okay fine, heard you the first time! sheesh! don't be so cranky - this is a humor forum lest you've forgotten!

               replyreport
3. 78

   Pestposted 15 years ago

   We need Goldentoad and Sschilke!  wo bis du???!

   replyreport
4. 58

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   i remember! goldentoad commented you're killing him in the musings hub! maybe he was not joking! whatyouthink?

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I have sent for him through an email...my hubs are the things of suicide so we may want to say our good-byes now.

      replyreport
      1. 58

         Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         okay pest, see you around in a bit

         replyreport
         1. 78

            Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

              Not me...I am talking about those who read my hubs, things of suicide...I don't even read them and you do, yet you live???

            replyreport
            1. 58

               Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               so you're saying i just missed the punchline there? thought you missed a period after "suicide" and before "so".  LOL Anyways, i think your hubs hit people differently! who knows I won't be back later! maybe you should issue a warning to every hub you write - something like they did in The Ring

               replyreport
               1. 78

                  Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                    My hubs are "horrible"  that was what I was getting at.  A sort of reverse psycho stuff.  To get people to look at my hubs.   Come on Chris I need all the help I can get!

                  replyreport
5. 58

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   if you build it they will come! that's what was said to Kevin Costner in the Field of Dreams - now what you have to build I've no idea! Btw, false modesty does not become you. An afterthought - make your titles interesting like "Lighting your fart" - (just published and i've commented already) or something like that. Musings sounds serious if you ask me

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Silence!!!  I have considered this dilemma, and I am working on it!   I was trying not to confuse the fan that i had at the time...Crisssssss!  lol!

      replyreport
6. 58

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   No it's not you, i'm under medication so pardon my shiftyness if there is such a word. Anyways, doesn't it make you wonder why the rest of them hubbers haven't gotten into joining this thread.. they are missing something i'm telling ya LOL

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        I am wondering as well...So you tell me,  Why are you and I here alone???

      replyreport
      1. 59

         Stevech63posted 15 years agoin reply to this

           Not so much alone guys, as being watched. The Mighty Illuminati have been tracking your musings, and we are not amused............................... LOL!

         replyreport
         1. 60

            goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            what plane did you jump out of to land here? welcome, but I see you have fans before you even have written a hub, I know Pest would like to know how you did that, he's bothering about having fans, seems that he wants a whole trailer park of 'em.

            replyreport
7. 58

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   beats me! i have an idea though, why don't YOU head on over to the Religion Forum and post the link for this thread! let's get some people here c'mon!

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Lord Almighty!!!  I can try.  Religion to here???  You trying to get me booted?  I will go see.

      replyreport
8. 58

   Cris Aposted 15 years ago

   better you than me my friend! besides i've my face on my avatar while yours... okay let's not go there - NEVER the avatar i remember you saying none too subtly.

   replyreport
   1. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        I went over there...it is rough!

      replyreport
      1. 58

         Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Did you post anything? Should have advised you to lead them on with the bible fetish thing... that willl get more than just raised eyebrows... Now head on back!

         replyreport
   2. 78

      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      All in fun my friend.  I would show my face, but it would ad horror to my humor

      replyreport
      1. 58

         Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         it's a noneissue. besides i'd rather be humored than horrified!

         replyreport
         1. 78

            Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Well, i am going for a while...Would be nice to see others pick this up and run with it.

            replyreport
            1. 58

               Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               
               i have a likely candidate as to who that might be... if he gets resurrected from the dead! LOL so see ya mt friend and say hi to the ladies in the park for me

               replyreport
9. 0

   C. C. Riterposted 15 years ago

   Dang! I missed this thread before I made one. Who is the funniest Hubber?

   replyreport
   1. 58

      Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      never too late! check out the hubs of Pest and goldentoad! you'll have a good time, I swear!

      replyreport
10. 56

    Dame Scribeposted 15 years ago

    Alphabetically ... humor would go before honeymooning, lol ...you should put all your "Trailer Lot" stories under your own Humor category.   you do such a fantastic job!

    replyreport
11. 58

    Cris Aposted 15 years ago

    pest, where are you?! he's back from the dead!!

    replyreport
12. 60

    goldentoadposted 15 years ago

    Damnit, I found it too late, this is where that Pest has been hiding, I thought he was round the corner, behind the liquor store hanging out or doing God knows what with one of his mom's "John". Sadly, I must shut the computer down as the snooping wife is starting to get suspicious I am staying up past my bedtime. This will continue!

    replyreport
13. 59

    sheenarobinsposted 15 years ago

    I think goldentoad would be a great candidate for the humor topic. I'm about to go check out Pest  because this is the first time I saw him.

    replyreport
    1. 58

       Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I see you followed my advice! You'll also love Pest despite the name... LOL he's one hell of a white trash (his own words not mine!)

       replyreport
14. 59

    sheenarobinsposted 15 years ago

    hahaha. I can see that now. I'm reading still. Lemme, go back and give the judgment!

    replyreport
    1. 58

       Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Okay you do that while I head on over to the kitchen... cooking time! Yay! I'm the family's iron chef (ahem). Just make sure NOT to comment on the avatar, neva eva the avatar! which makes me wonder nonetheless... See ya in a bit

       replyreport
15. 59

    sheenarobinsposted 15 years ago

    I was about to comment on that then decided to let it be. I was wondring if you guys where talking about humor topic and somewhere along the way, you guys were teasing each other about your avatars. Why did you change it? heheheh.
    
    I like both so it doesn't matter. But the cat is curious and she says, "meow, let me get a better view."

    replyreport
    1. 78

       Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Chris had asked me about my Avatar and I had no real answer so I jokingly told him to never ask about the Avatar "Neva!"  Neva is what we use to say in another forum I posted in.  Meant to be evil without the sinister laugh.  Nothing I say should ever really be taken serious. 
       
       The cat is my real cat, Kat, the topic of one of my hubs.  Much like Goldentoad's wife she believes I spend too much time on my computer.  The picture was taken from my desk as she was playing with the cables, undoubtedly trying to sabotage my computer time!

       replyreport
16. 0

    C. C. Riterposted 15 years ago

    Well now, ain't this 'posed ta be 'bout humor. I tho't there'd be some jokes here by now. So here goes.
    
    Hillary Clinton's New Years Roast Beef Recipe
    
    1 Large Rib Roast
    1 small Rib Roast
    
    Preheat Oven to 350 degrees
    
    Season the two roasts as you like, to taste. Place the little one on bottom rack of oven and the large one on the top rack and close door.
    When the little roast is burned the large one is done. Take both out of oven and discard the little roast and carve and serve the large one.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       C.C Riter, I think you just silenced the audience, and everyone knows they got order a stronger drink if you are going to keep telling jokes like that. I know you are about as fresh a wet booger but oh my, try again, wait, let me order that double shot of tequila first. What's green and smells like pig?

       replyreport
17. 58

    Cris Aposted 15 years ago

    why are there so many, songs about rainbows... try again Toad!

    replyreport
    1. 60

       goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       The punchline for mine: Kermit's finger. Tell me chris, why so many songs about rainbows?

       replyreport
       1. 58

          Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Sheesh! You dense or what.. Kermit sang that song. Hmmm is that a serious question...?

          replyreport
          1. 60

             goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Still on antibiotics, mind cloudy, man I didn't get you on that one! I'll get off the stage now before I get that tomato thrown at me!

             replyreport
             1. 58

                Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                Okay off you go! and only come back when your sense of humor's back - or Pest will rid of you fast!

                replyreport
                1. 60

                   goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   I'm outta here! I'll be back in a few hours, got to lock up the job site and head to the chaos that awaits me at home! Peace out.

                   replyreport
18. 78

    Pestposted 15 years ago

    Three pages!  Wow...  I don't have any jokes to post but I think you will like the change I made...oooorrrrrrrrr not.

    replyreport
19. 78

    Pestposted 15 years ago

    Everyone must have a life this new years...  I am here all alone! 
    
    What do you do with 365 used condoms?  Make it into a tire and call it a good-year!

    replyreport
    1. 58

       Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       This joke is new....5 years back!

       replyreport
       1. 60

          goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Pest, I would think there would be plenty of goings on in the trailer park with New Years, some fresh cooked meth, everyone passing around a schlitz, some dirt weed, and a bag of chew?

          replyreport
20. 58

    Cris Aposted 15 years ago

    LOL and new avatar, too! who shot the picture? the other horse?

    replyreport
21. 78

    Pestposted 15 years ago

    First off...Chris, I know the joke is old, but it fits the time of YEAR...lol
    
    Goldentoad, I do not do meth, I sell mommas surplus.  I only drink Stohs, and that would be a BAG of weed not chew that we pass around.  You ever try and chew while drinking beer?  Spit swallow???  nothing worse than drinking a Strohs bottle of mommas chew spit!  ( yes I went there!!!)

    replyreport
22. 58

    Cris Aposted 15 years ago

    Has anybody seen a toad - he was last seen with a tadpole - and a pest - he looks like...hmm... his avatar! Guess I'm alone now...
    
    Okay, i'll try to come up with a joke that I don't know the punchline to that way I get to guess! Good thinking Wonder Dog!

    replyreport
23. 0

    C. C. Riterposted 15 years ago

    What's that Pony trying to do to you Pest? Or should I ask, what are you trying to do to the Pony? LOL
    May you have the best of this New Year! Is that an 'innie' or an 'outie' converted to an 'innie'?

    replyreport
    1. 78

       Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         What Pony???  lol.

       replyreport
       1. 58

          Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          let me post it here, copied it a while ago! knew you would do this trick! ha!

          replyreport
          1. 78

             Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               You know me too well already!

             replyreport
             1. 58

                Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                yep, better than your momma does!

                replyreport
                1. 78

                   Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                     Close!  Momma may know, me, Her problem is remembering who I am...

                   replyreport
                   1. 58

                      Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      LOL next time pretend that you're one of her friends - bet she won't forget you once she sorts you out!

                      replyreport
                      1. 78

                         Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                         Ewwwwwwwwwww.  After a day of momma's drinking she does call me "John" now and then.   I do not claim to be one of her "friends".

                         replyreport
                         1. 58

                            Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                            Double Ewwwwwwww i can never outgross you! You sure your name's Pest? Or is it really Perv?

                            replyreport
                            1. 60

                               goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                               Hey Chris, get offa Pest's momma, time's up, it's my turn.

                               replyreport
                               1. 78

                                  Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                  Ugh!  You two leave my momma alone!   I am tired of washing her sheets, especially since aunt Flo is here!  I have yet to aunt Flo but I have to keep clean sheets for her!

                                  replyreport
                                  1. 60

                                     goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                     Pest, make sure you do a better job of washing those sheets, I was scared when I was saw something that looked like a mustard stain

                                     replyreport
                                     1. 60

                                        goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                        And I know it wasn't mustard!

                                        report
                                        1. 78

                                           Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                           That would be momma's itch creme for her girl parts.

                                           report
                                           1. 60

                                              goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                              I wouldn't exactly call 'em girl parts anymore, they look like they've been through alot

                                              report
                                              1. 78

                                                 Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                 Or a lot has been through them!

                                                 report
24. 60

    goldentoadposted 15 years ago

    You betta not let your momma read what you just wrote, she might break that switch out on you again

    replyreport
    1. 78

       Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Nawwww, she thinks I am playing D&D.

       replyreport
       1. 58

          Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Did I miss any?! the good parts?

          replyreport
          1. 78

             Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Mommas good parts were flushed away years ago!

             replyreport
25. 78

    Pestposted 15 years ago

    Why is it that just three of us choose to participate in a "humor" thread?

    replyreport
    1. 58

       Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Maybe they think we troll people who come over. Or maybe they're into some vicarious entertainment. Or maybe I don't know! Let's see what the toad has to say

       replyreport
       1. 60

          goldentoadposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I have to go into hiding now, Mama G is around!

          replyreport
          1. 58

             Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Pest, who's the big guy now?

             replyreport
             1. 78

                Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                That'd be you Chris!  You have seniority over me!  I see another thread started for misc stuff to include "jokes"!  Hey!  You don't think toad is going over there do you???

                replyreport
                1. 58

                   Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   Me? Thought so! Naah I don't think Toad is going anywhere else in the forums. It's as he said, his Mama G is on the prowl! His wifey doesn't know about his hubbing and it will be the end of the Toad we know if she finds out - with all that hubs he has written exposing his inner workings! But don't tell you heard it from me, okay?

                   replyreport
                   1. 78

                      Pestposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      Sure thing!  I too must be going for a while.  I will be back in a few hours!  I do have kids to feed and all that stuff.

                      replyreport
                      1. 58

                         Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                         a man's gotta do what he's gotta do! me, meanwhile will brave the Religion Forum! LOL

                         replyreport
26. 58

    Cris Aposted 15 years ago

    Hey Pest where are you? I have a good one for you: What's gross and hubs?

    replyreport
27. 64

    needful thingsposted 15 years ago

    That Avatar looks great (racoon with knife on kitten). I'm very new here in Hubpages. It would seem that this thread is the most active...
    
    So I'd like to give all of you a Stress Reliever... It's the first of my humor hubs. Well these guys made me really laugh... so it is just right that I share it with others.
    
    LAUGH NOW
    
    Hopefully all of you are laughing... and while you're at it... please let me know how I can improve my hubs. I sure need an expert hubber just about now to point me in the right direction lest I get lost.

    replyreport
    1. 58

       Cris Aposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I'm familar with the Moymoy Palaboy brothers, being from the Philippines and all! Yep, I must agree they are quite a riot!
       
       As to the right direction for newbies like yourself, try http://hubpages.com/faq/ for starters And and oh, don't forget to have fun!

       replyreport