Why is the family changing?

1. 66

   aka-djposted 15 years ago

   Used to be that a family was a husband, a wife and children. The two were married, kids grew up, got married etc. Now, it is all too common for simply co-habiting. Changing partners, same sex relationships and so on. Committment is waning, or weak. Even governments are finding it tough to keep up, trying to legislate to"level the playing field" so to speak.
   Has this trend "bottomed out"?, Will it continue? Will it turn back again?

   replyreport
   1. 0

      sandieganlizposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I would have to say from the young-generation's perspective that because 50% of marriages end in divorce, our generation doesn't see the commitment in marriages; therefore, what is the point? In this fast-paced society where birth control is advised and obtained within 24 hrs to prevent risk of committing to a new life from a single life, the trend is that young people want their freedom and live in it too. Not that I am an advocate for that kind of lifestyle because I personally can't stand what birth control does to my female body and I value commitment and sacrifice. However, my parents divorced and I have seen many parents divorce after kids were grown up. As a naturalistic-type of girl, I feel the reason is due to the relation of sexual activity and socialism of marriage--it's not natural to commit to one person for sexual purposes. It is traditional by religion and socialism. Otherwise, we would live like animals and produce all kinds of offspring and live in an animal kingdom. However, we don't relate to animals in the sexual arena because we don't only have sex to create offspring. Most humans have sex as gratification, and, as a release. Though I'm sure there is that small percentage that have proven two humans can marry and have sex only with that life partner, in this day and age, there are too many distractions. The media shows all kinds of sexual escapades, and, the trend is to sexually experiment as much as humanly possible; therefore, why would anybody want to be tied down? Traditions are changing as vast as the world, so, those traditional, committed people should simply observe and smile.
      
      As far as the same-sex thing, science is proving that the tendency to transcend one's gender and become attracted to a person of the same sex may be due to prenatal hormonal dysfunction--meaning that the chemicals may be imbalanced during the prenatal stage causing a person to be more female, or, more male than intended. This has happened for quite some time and science is starting to grasp it into terms made more understandable to today's technical age.
      
      So, congrats if you're one of the rare ones who can keep your family and marriage intact, and, if you're happy and excited at it too. It's great...and traditional... something the world is losing nowadays.

      replyreport
   2. 81

      LondonGirlposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      A rather simplistic view of what "a family" was, I think.
      
      Take, for example, Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein. Her mother had had an illegitimate daughter, Fanny, a few years before Mary's birth. Her parents then married, and her mother died in childbed. Her father then re-married, a woman who already had two children, and the couple had another couple.
      
      So she grew up with her illegitimate half-sister, her younger half-siblings, and her step-siblings. And Fanny grew up in a family with no biological parents at all.
      
      When so many adults died young, "til death do us part" wasn't necessarily very long. Margaret Beaufort, mother of Henry VII, married at least three times, for example. Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, and Queen Mary (wife of George V) were all widowed pretty young.
      
      Catherine Parr, 6th wife of Henry VIII (and leaving HIS marital history out of it) married four times. She was widowed three times, and then died in childbed, in her late 30s, I think.

      replyreport
      1. 66

         aka-djposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I didn't know these examples. However, I was thinking in a broader term, though it might be simplistic. That is not neccessarily a bad thing.I often think life is too complicated. 

         replyreport
   3. 72

      Maddie Ruudposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Before the "family" there were tribes.  I'm sure, during the transition to the single-family household structure, there was resistance among "traditionalists" of that time.  This is no different.
      
      The one thing that never changes is that things change.  You can accept it, or be unhappy your entire life.

      replyreport
      1. 59

         VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Basic things will never change. Happiness depends on our dealing with other people.

         replyreport
         1. 72

            Maddie Ruudposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, but the nature of that interaction, the structure of society, changes.  That is inevitable.

            replyreport
            1. 59

               VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Another thing that never changes is the people's anxiety for a change!

               replyreport
               1. 60

                  GeneriqueMediaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Fear's an evil thing. But like all creatures, we tend to collect around our habbits.

                  replyreport
2. 59

   Colebabieposted 15 years ago

   Ok now let me preface this by saying... I'm not married. However, I believe that marriage is changing for many reasons. People do not want to settle for being unhappy, nor should they. Yes previously more people stayed married. But were they happy in their marriages?? I think that divorce has become more of an option today. If someone is unhappy, divorce isn't as taboo as it was previously. Women are taking more control of their emotions and making life-altering decisions. Additionally, people are obtaining more freedoms than previously. It is easier to be "yourself" than before. I am encouraged to have a career as a woman, whereas fifty years ago I may not have been. Same sex couples feel more freedom than before. This is because of the work the gay community has done to gain more respect as human beings and demand the rights they deserve.
   
   So yes, marriage is changing. No longer can we put marriage into a box as a man and woman with two kids, who stay together forever, and raise children to continue the pattern. But is this a bad thing?? Is is better to have people divorce and find happiness and peace? Or to stay in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship? Either by denial of wants, needs, sexual orientation, passions, or otherwise?
   
   I agree that some couples do not take marriage seriously. With the option of divorce (being more socially acceptable), it seems people may believe it is easier to give up on marriage. But this is an individuals decision. All we can do as a society is educate. Educate about birth control, providing education to make individuals more independent, educate about finances and laws. Most importantly, respect a person's right to make a decision for themselves and be happy.

   replyreport
3. 89

   Stacie Lposted 15 years ago

   the original purpose to a "marriage" was for financial security and support for the wife and children.
   
   After all marriage is a legal contract ,not made from love or emotions.
   
   Since women do have the right to work,vote and not be any man's 'chattel' anymore,marriage is not a necessity

   replyreport
4. 0

   Leta Sposted 15 years ago

   We live far longer than we used to, literally, for one.  'Death do us Part' doesn't mean the same thing that it used to mean even 100 years ago.  Two, younger generations see all the issues their parents or those around them had, and have decided it was a bad deal (and for the way things stand, having to pay for a divorce & other entanglements, it is a bad deal).
   
   I don't see this lack of marriage thing so much as a case of immorality or lack of commitment (at least within my social group), but just different needs among people.  Sometimes a love affair just ends...  Of course, I'm probably not 'average' or usual, since I'm kind of a boho, I guess, and this is our usual existence--even, lol, 200 years ago.
   
   Of course, my parents and grandparents were all married forever.  I've also only ever had long term relationships, even if they didn't last eternity.
   
   I would say that not one size fits all--and that really has nothing to do with lack of commitment or immorality, often.

   replyreport
   1. 81

      LondonGirlposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      A lot of relationships and marriages do last. My parents are still happily together, and my grandparents, my other half's parents, and his grandparents were all married until death.
      
      I've been with my other half now for a long time, living together for 12 years later this year, and I'm 31 now. That's a pretty strong committment (-:

      replyreport
5. 60

   GeneriqueMediaposted 15 years ago

   A lot of good points here.
   
   
   
   This is sweet. And true in many instances.
   
   My personal take on this question, besides many of the other signs already pointed by you lot would be that what we're seeing is the result of an assault on values and materialism.
   
   As far as homosexuality/trans issues are concerned, I believe personally that these are all natural and not "sinful" as many would want you to believe. Why? Because unless Satan is getting animals to act homosexuality is very prevalent in the animal kingdom, too. Some species of fish also can be born female and in later life turn into a male.
   
   I think most of these issues just is how face paced we have all become. From seeing people never using their turn signals, to those who talk on the cellphone while buying stuff at a check out stand... while we've all become easily more connected we've also lost our urge to reconnect with our community at large.
   
   We stick to what we know, who we love, and thats it. And many people are of a me, me, me attitude. What else can explain this recent rash of child kidnapping and killing? Not to mention octomom...I think (or hope, anyway) we'll start to see a major swing in the other direction and start trusting each other more and learn to put away our differences as a means to divide us.
   
   Sincerely,
   GLM

   replyreport
6. 0

   MBKLposted 15 years ago

   Unfortunately, too many of us are the products of loveless marriages.  Some of us lived with divorced parents.  Others suffered in homes lead by couples who were indifferent to each other.  I think this forces people to rethink the marriage model and develop partnerships that are more fulfilling.  The forms those partnerships take are as varied as the people in society.  This seems like a logical progression to me, yet I see why it troubles people who were able to make more traditional relationships work for them.

   replyreport
7. 49

   ScarlettWiposted 15 years ago

   Me too i dont think that has to be a negative sign. And I'm sure if it is the right man or woman it will hold for long no matter on what the relationship is base.
   And concerning changing family - the real family (your kids, your parents, your brother, sisters) will always be your family and that should never change!

   replyreport
8. 59

   VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 15 years ago

   Families are changing because of ambition, resources available to people,  restrictions placed on people in their quest for lavish living, anxiety of elders to grab the facilities of young ones, ego, etc. makes families disintegrate... so the lifestyle changes accordingly.

   replyreport