Workless

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   cocoa26posted 13 years ago

   If your spouse wanted you to stay home to take of the kids while they work, would you??? Knowing that you will have to ask for things that you need such as money.

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      Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I did that while my kids were young. When they got into school I began working part time as a teacher's assistant (I had the same days off as the kids). Since I had my degree, I later  started sub teaching. I could choose the days I worked and still was on a school day schedule.
      
      If it is possible, I think it is great for the kids. Also as a 'home manager' you can save a lot of money that might be spent on eating out, child care, and other work related expenses. I had time to plan and shop bargains, I planted a vegetable garden, and did a lot of things that we otherwise might have paid for.
      If 'your own money' is an issue, you need to iron that out before you decide what to do. Maybe set up a budget plan that includes a 'discretionary allowance' for you.(A woman should also have her own 'just in case' fund.)
      
      If you are a stylist, maybe you can find part time work at a shop-- or start your own part time business at home or going to other people's homes.
      
      Maybe HubPages earnings can help you feel more independent after a while.   My husband always trusted me to pay bills and handle finances, so it wasn't my issue-- specially since I am naturally frugal.
      Good luck in whatever you decide.

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   2. 74

      the pink umbrellaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      the best thing that i can respond with, is hells yea, i would stay home, and id figure out a way to make money at home that i could have for myself. If they wanna pay the bills, more power to em, but this umbrella asks for nothing!

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2. 57

   zthao89posted 13 years ago

   Heck no. It's all about being independent. Your partner and yourself have to first be independents and then come together to form a unit. How I see it is that you have to do what you need to do so that if one day your spouse leaves you, you'll be able to make a living for yourself. Besides, I've been on that boat and it sucks to not have your own income. Especially if your significant other is greedy or "wants to save money" all the time.

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3. 0

   Home Girlposted 13 years ago

   When your kids are small, somebody has to take care of them. If their mother can do it - perfect, if not, figure out the best way. I did not have a choice, I had to stay at home, with no money and hating every moment of it.

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4. 62

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I stayed home with my kids when they were little, and I didn't lose my ability to earn my own income.  I kept my hand in by doing some part-time freelance writing.  I managed everything - the house, the finances, all the child-related stuff, all holidays, etc. etc.  My husband worked long hours, so we saw it as working as a team, with "the person who had the time to manage the home front the one to do that". 
   
   I probably shouldn't ad that, actually, I was the one to leave the marriage (anybody wonder why?     ).  In all seriousness, it had nothing to do with the "work load".
   
   Whether or not a woman CAN be on her own, and whether she chooses to be can be two different things.  One thing I didn't like about not working full-time was that it was as if I suddenly became "a nothing" in the eyes of people who only respect people who work full-time.  When we got divorced someone actually told the court (in spite of my part-time work, and in spite of the fact that I had proof this wasn't true) that I'd NEVER worked since the children came along.
   
   The one thing I did that was really stupid (and this goes to Rochelle's suggestion about keeping a little stash of emergency money) was that I didn't keep that stash.  I felt as if, since my husband had earned it, it would be "deceitful" to skim it and keep a private stash.  I paid a price for that all "being fine and upstanding" when I eventually did need to leave.

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ...that's terrible ..."never worked'....yea - well, what do you call raising a family and looking after everyone.... rrooooooaaaarrrr....here me roar!...that's work!...

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      1. 62

         Lisa HWposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         but on top of that, I'd been writing and doing projects besides doing the house stuff.   I was so disgusted to have it called, "never worked since the kids came" I actually gave clips (with dates on them) to the "court people".
         
         Or course, in keeping with dealing with people who didn't seem to take whatever an otherwise stay-at-home mom did, a close girlfriend once asked me, "Are you still writing your LITTLE stories?"  !!!!      I was covering news and writing features (like on teen suicide), as well as taking other projects - and she seemed to be under the impression I was - I don't know - writing fairy tales or something!!    Basically, once some people get it in their head you aren't involved in the 9 to 5 thing any longer, you and anything you do are pretty much invisible, I guess. 

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