Would you tell your Christian mother that you are an Atheist?

1. 59

   cooldadposted 12 years ago

   My mother was raised in the deep south, very Baptist, very racist, very "godly".
   I've always struggled with telling her that I"m an atheist, but haven't done it yet.  I fear it would crush her.  Any thoughts?

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      Disappearingheadposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think you should just tell here. Who knows it might lead to a better understanding of each other.

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      Knight6posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      if your mother would be crushed then keep mouth shut you can live with the lie but she might not be able to live with the turth just my view

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         Knight6posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         emile r is spot on i agree 100%

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      Don Crowsonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your Mother will continue to love you regardless what you do.  But it will be with a broken heart.  She will consider it her failure to raise a son in a Christian home and have him become an unbeliever.  It will be her fault and you will regret it.

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      JGoulposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I am an atheist, or nearly so, and my heavily religious mother knows. She was disappointed but not angry; it had essentially no impact on my relationship with her. However, it impacted HER, even if it didn't affect our relationship. I know that she worries and prays about me regularly. I'd take a close look at your motives before deciding to tell her. If it won't change anything important in your life to tell her, it probably isn't worth causing her the pain.

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   5. 69

      grinnin1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think it depends on your mom. Does she deal with reality well or does she tend to close her eyes and only see what she wants to see? There are a lot of deep south Baptists who are especially concerned with appearances; less open to conversations about reality and/or diverse beliefs.
      Moms know more than you think they do, alot of times. Maybe she has an inkling and would appreciate an open conversation with you about your beliefs. You are the only one who knows your mom and whether she can 'handle" the information or not. Good luck-

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   6. 59

      cooldadposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate everyone's input here, I really do.  I don't think I will tell her.  There isn't much reason for me to do so.  I know she understands that I'm not religious, but I do think she believes in God.  I see no reason to tell her something that would crush her.  My beliefs aren't that important.  I think it would be selfish of me to burden her with that.  She's a worrier by nature and she would spend the rest of her life worrying more about me than she already does.

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      Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Kind of hard to say considering that I don't know your mother all that well.  The only person that can answer that question is yourself.  Based on what you know about your mom, do you think she'll get over it in time?  Or is she the type that holds a grudge?  I can't answer that for you.
      
      As for my mother, I think if I was an atheist, then I know she'd be understanding about it, as my mom doesn't judge people that way.  However, each person is different, so just do whatever you feel is right.

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2. 0

   Emile Rposted 12 years ago

   Don't do it man. Trust me. It won't go well. What your mother doesn't know won't hurt you.

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3. 62

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   Provided my mother wasn't doing something like expecting me to go to her church every Sunday, I wouldn't go as far as saying that I was an atheist.  In fact, whether or not she were expecting me to live "hook, line, and sinker" according to her religion's beliefs; I'd probably say that I didn't happen to agree with her particular church or religion (but I wouldn't throw in the atheist part  ).  I think there's a point where parents can expect way too much of their grown kids, in terms of expecting them to exactly believe what they do (and practice the exact same religion).  I just think, though, that there are ways to assert that one doesn't happen to want to follow that particular religion and his practices without throwing in the info about not believing in God.
   
   As with so many other situations in life, this one doesn't have to be a black-and-white kind of thing.  The way I see it, as long as you're not sitting in a church every week, getting married at a heavily religious service that goes against what you really believe, or teaching your kids something you don't believe - what purpose would that extra bit of info serve?

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4. 74

   cathylynn99posted 12 years ago

   i have lots of christian friends from my christian days. i don't flaunt my atheism in front of them. that would lead to vain attempts to convert me and unnecessary worry on their parts over the destiny of my eternal soul.

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5. 79

   earnestshubposted 12 years ago

   I have always told it like it is when it comes to core beliefs.
   
   I told my mother and she survived it, I offered my grandmother a joint when she was 87 and dying of cancer as I believed it would ease her pain, she took it and smoked it then asked for a stash and how to roll one, so you don't really know an outcome until you try.
   I loved my grandma heaps, and could not stand to see her suffering needlessly.
   It proved to be a good decision.
   
   I think if you are your true self the air is clear, and if it damages a dysfunctional relationship, so be it.

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6. 79

   nikki_mposted 12 years ago

   To me, it's not such a huge deal. My mother is Catholic, but she has her own issues with religion (Catholics don't look too fondly on divorced single mothers). She knows that I don't go to church, and she knows that I make jokes about the Bible-thumpers in our town at every opportunity, but I've never felt that my life would be more complete by "coming out" to her.

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7. 84

   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   I think you both probably lose more than you gain by telling her.

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   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   "Would you tell your Christian mother that you are an Atheist?"
   
   Sure, why not?

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      psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Because it make her very unhappy and ruin the relationship?
      
      One of the advantages of atheism is that the non-god doesn't require us to spread the word to save our non-existent soul.

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         A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Cooldad can correct me if I'm wrong here, but this may be more about wanting to shed a little reality on a life of fantasy, from a son to a mother as opposed to an Atheist to a Christian.

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