Long Distance Relationships.
I think whether or not a long distance relationship is successful depends alot on the people in the relationship. some people can handle it, others can't. I was in a two year long distance relationship with someone I to this day never met, and I didn't really have too much of a problem with it, as long as there was sufficient communication. That relationship ended for that reason among many others. I am now currently in a long distance relationship but have no issues other than there has to be a lot of communication...I think that's really the key. And, it can't go on for very long. But, like I said, I think it really depends on the people. Some people don't need physical proximity in order to feel fulfilled...some do. It's all about what your particular needs are. But just for the record, I am in a long distance relationship for six months now and it's going great
I am sorry to hear this. I hope everything works out for you soon.....hang in there
He is American
I am a New Zealander
Completely different hemispheres lol.
He likes Rock n roll ,I like Country
We both have accents
It started with a kiss...never thought It would come to this,actually it didnt start with a kiss,it all started with the Internet ,oh hell you will have to read my hub
We met
We visited each others countries
We marriedit got hard to take after awhile, so we united, it certainly let's you know how strong your relationship is
You lucky thing Escobana, I wish I was going to have a new life in Brazil.
- icountthetimesposted 12 years ago
0 - Emily Sparksposted 12 years ago0
Well, I have never been in one.......yet. My boyfriend may be going to school across the country. I know our relationship is real and will last. I just know there will be some difficulties and ajustments to get use to. On the other hand, "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
I am in a long distance relationship with a woman 11'000 miles away. I am in New Zealand and she is in England. We have been in a LDR for 5 years now. We have meet 4 times and hopefully a 5th time in April this year. every time we part at the airport it kills us almost. I love her more than anything and can only dream of the day our circumstances change and we can be together for good. We have these two silver half-broken hearts we put together when we meet and then swap halves when we leave. When we finally get together once a year for a week or two it is amazing, but the time apart is unbearable. I am committed to her completely, and I love her so much! I just miss her so much
Aww I remember that anguish so well, and it doesn't go away til you both get in the same time zone-simple as that!
Hey Im a Kiwi married to an American. It took us years (4) to meet face to face and it was a natural as can be.
I flew to the U.S. A year later he flew to NZ. We eventually married after a very long courtship.
2009 I flew to the U.S to meet his family and it was great!
Of course like any normal relationship there have been ups and downs,but it was far better than the longing and loneliness of being apart..emotionally and physically.
I wish you and your special lady every success for the future.
Kia Kaha KiwiThank you, your story gives me hope
Nice to hear of a success story!My hub (cuz I wrote one) you mean? or this post? thanks all the same.
Just remember ,there is always hope, and when you want more ,step it up a notchYes I do know what you mean!!!
(It can be quite consuming at times)
It against the rules to promote one's hubs on a forum ,but just click on my avatar and when you arrive on my profile page scroll down ,look for hub long distance relationship- K ty. I will check it out. With all the earthquakes and taking care of my mother with dementia, plus my kids, my time with her is so precious and life saving. I want to marry her some day. Thank you for talking to me, sometimes you want to tell someone about it but they don't understand and tell me I am wasting my time or something like that.
Yea I do understand,it involves every kind of emotion,and often thats even before you get outta bed
I didnt have an elderly mum to consider ,but I did have childre.But when the timing opened up for me I grabbed it. It was a difficult decision in a way ,but only because I didnt want to be disappointed.
But I took the plunge (by flying to him) I had the chance to financially and because it was driving me crazy ,all the phone calls etc etc and waiting and waiting.....some how I wanted to move it up a level or finish it,because after a while my mind couldnt take it any longer ,lol.
Everyone is different ,and maybe you both need some kind of plan or goal ,something you can see is 'do able'yeah I think we are waiting for some opportunity to open, I have kids from my last marriage and she has a child. I wish I could talk more on here but I feel I can't speak in this thread anymore
Thank you for your advice and experiences on the matter.
I understand your pain. Every time I hear a plane go over my roof I try to cover my ears. When I know she will be visiting the sound or sight of a plane are the most desired thing to hear or see, but when she goes they torture me so cruely
I know exactly how you feel, and yet there is nothing I can do but save up another thousand dollars to be with her for a week or so. If she can make it here in April maybe on my birthday I will wait in the same place by the "wall" our special place we meet, if she can't get here then I will still go to the airport and leave a rose by that wall. When she left through the boarding gate last time I went back past the table where we had a cup of coffee and saw our cups still went home alone on a bus and just collapsed on my bed with all the memories of her in my house. Pain!!
Not easy, all I do is long for her. She is like the piece of me that is missing, a void that no one else can fill. $1000's mean nothing to pay for a ticket to bring her here to me, nothing I make on here even contributes, I only write on here for the love of it, and a chance to write her somewhere into my poems or a chance to mention her to someone, anyone to make her real when I doubt myself.
I hear what you say Sar ,but what are your plans to be in the same country?
Eliza's right that the real fun begins when you live and work ,and meet the kids 24/7 ,an not just a vacation (when everyones on their best behaviour)
Wish my hubby was here(typing) to tell you his side of the story,but I am sure he would say it was a bed of roses not
okay. I am actually feeling depressed from reading all this. Like you say, despite what the statistics are, I have to just believe.
I think the question would be like in my own situation, what steps are you both taking to get in the same place to live together. Like job wise, or extra jobs or hobbies to make money. I don't remember how long you've been together, but if you learn to work together as a team you will learn to do things together to where you want to go in life. Things happen in their own timing, and like I have been four years now. But we are closer than ever, and always growing stronger. We don't ask those questions anymore, we just find ways to make money to get to our destination now. You can wait forever, but what you going to do to put it in action to get there is the question. If you're just waiting around and not moving forward with it, it will never go anywhere. You have plenty of ways on line to share things. Facebook, videos, writing letters, voice, games like Second LIfe where you can interact with each other, on cam you can see each other. It is only temporary, and if you just spend an hour a day communicating, it makes time go faster. Just depends on how much you lover her, and how much time you want to invest in her.
Thanks for your reply, we always talk about making the big move. I have 5 children from my last marriage, 3 with me, to move away I would have to take those that live with me away from here and their mother, and leaving behind my other kids. My daughter and her baby, my grandson, so many things, and leave at a time while there is still big eartquakes happening in this city
My GF too has a son from her last marriahe and would have to leave behind her life and job there and remove the child from seeing his father etc. Not so straight forward, and we hope to discuss this more when she visits in April. Compatibility and trust etc. are not the problem, just our situations. We do all the Facebook, Msn, e-mails, Skype, games, letters and sending parcel thing and our visits when we can get the tickets. It's just us being together effects others in a big way, and we are aware of that.
Perhaps you asked this question to seek reassurance that long distance relationships work out?
No surprise that some people say yes and some say no. I haven't seen the hub comments - I will agree that no one should be horrid to you about wanting to seek opinion. Forums are public places though, it is hard to set limits?
Different relationship models work for different people. I did not know you had been in a close domestic marriage for so long (you look young in your pic), and perhaps this is colouring your views about the merits of a long distance love, as you were hurt in another relationship model, if I may put things that way.
It is always tough to seek out other voices, and expand our thinking beyond our comfort zones. From your thoughtful replies to everyone, you are obviously wrestling with the question, and perhaps you like this lady enough to move closer towards being together more often. Maybe that is what you are framing up in your mind. How to ask her for more?
If so, good luck with that. You seem a nice, thoughtful man. You must have courage to try closeness again, and that is hard, and I wish you well.
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