This is a long post, but I'm aiming it not necessarily just at the OP's situation; but also at anyone else who creates this kind of issue. To be honest, I'm very bothered by so many of the attitudes toward mothers that are showing up here (and for the record, I'm nowhere near as old as the OP's mother is YET). (I was going to turn this into a Hub, but the situation is too specific.)
I'm not a big fan of the blanket generalizations (above) about either mothers of sons or else older people (since "older" for people in their twenties or thirties is often as young as fifty). I know more than my share of women substantially older than I am, and older mothers don't necessarily become "more needy" (except, of course, if they have medical problems that make doing some things more difficult for them).
What I've learned as the mother of three grown kids, but also from things my own mother used to say about being the mother of grown kids; is that grown kids often mistakenly assume one thing or another about what the mother is thinking (or in the case, what's bothering the OP's mother) - when, in reality, she may be bothered about something completely different.
So, my first thought here is that unless she has out-and-out said she doesn't like the girlfriend, don't assume that's what was bothering her. Even if the OP knows his mother doesn't ever like any of his friends, there's the chance whatever her issue is has nothing to do with her associating him with "her womb". That kind of thinking comes from either men or young people who don't know what it's like to be the mother of grown kids.
I think you should start by out-and-out asking your mother what was bothering her that night. There's a chance she won't feel she can be honest, because she may not want to alienate you by being honest (if she doesn't like the girlfriend, or if she thinks you have rotten judgment in friends (correct or not) ). Then again, if she's the type who freely criticizes she may be honest. If you think she's more the type not to be honest, then maybe ask your father (or someone else close to her) to see if they can find out what was really bothering her. There's at least the possibility that it had nothing to do with your girlfriend at all.
You might be completely right that she just hates any friends you have (I'm not second-guessing you). Here's the kind of thing that could bring on that kind of behavior too, though: Since it was going on at her house, there's at least the chance that she hadn't been the one to invite the people over. Mothers can be of two minds (and I don't mean having Schizophrenia or Multiple-Personality Disorder). There can be what they do, or agree to, for their kids and/or family; but then there can be what they really feel up to doing. If they go with what they think will make their kids or family happiest that can mean going against what they really feel like doing, or feel up to doing. They don't want to complain because they're happy (for the most part) to do what they think will make their family happy. That might be what they want more than anything. In fact, they may want their family to have their good times and friends so much that they just ignore the fact that they don't feel up to something like having a bunch of people cooking dinner.
This keeping stuff to oneself may go on for a long time; but then, all of a sudden, there may be a time when it all just has built up and a person can't deal with it graciously any longer. In such an instance, the mother may not want to be honest about what's bothering her because the last thing she'd ever want to do would be to imply (in calm conversation when things haven't gotten to where they did for her that night) that she doesn't want her kids or family around. Part of her may love having them around and feel like saying even something a little could be misinterpreted by grown kids or others who don't understand that "of two minds thing".
So, there's at least the chance that something like this could have been going on; and that things had just built up and gotten the best of her that night. There are those things some mothers would never say (even if they really should) because they know "how it could sound" to the person who is neither a mother nor a woman nor the age nor the in the circumstances that they are. Right or wrong, some women/mothers just kind of hope that family members will figure out how to consider their needs as a human being. People often can't figure it out because they aren't mothers or of the same age, or else they just have completely different personalities and needs themselves; and can't imagine anything else. It's not fair that some mothers are so intent on keeping what's bothering them to themselves, because people can't figure it out; but a lot of them are pretty considerate of, and thoughtful towards, everyone else - so they just assume others are capable of doing the same (and others always aren't).
There's at least the chance that something else has been bothering your mother. That could be something like depression, or it could be a matter of just being tired or having reached some breaking point. There's no doubt that mothers (like everyone else) can have unhealthy attitudes/behaviors in relationships; but if there's on thing I've seen it's that it usually pays to give someone the benefit of doubt and at least consider the least toxic/least serious cause of something first. So often, it can be a mother's (or anyone's) attempt to be "super-human" and always put everyone else first that can result in the very human thing of their "losing it" or having things just get the best of them.
People grossly underestimate mothers much of the time. People also have a tendency to assume the worst of everyone else. Something else people don't do is realize that people in their seventies, eighties, and nineties are often very much the same people that they were in their thirties - only older, wiser, and sometimes (not always) more tired. Look at the attitudes that have been showing up in this thread. Whether the OP's mother has depression (or some other mental/emotional disorder) or just has reached a point where she can't "be cool" all the time any longer; it's been the automatic assumption that she doesn't deserve any benefit of any doubt.
People with depression and/or emotional "issues" aren't easy to live with, and there's only so much family members can do in such situations. On the other hand, there's at least the possibility that things have gotten the best of the OP's mother for one reason or another; and her behavior was a straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back" kind of thing.
Personally, I think you ought to ask your mother something like this: "Mom, I felt bad that you seemed so upset the other night. Is there something about "Susie" you don't like, or is it just too much to have people over to cook these days? If it is I understand - or was it something else (even if you can't tell me what it was)?"
Finally (Devil's Advocate only here): There are grown kids who tend to pick some real doozies as their friends; and fathers (who can SOMETIMES be more clueless than mothers; or anyone else, don't always have as much "Doozy Radar" as some mothers may. (I'm not saying that's the case. Again, Devil's Advocate only.)
Either way, I don't think immaturity, by itself, is at the root of the behavior. I think Mother's either got emotional issues (which you have to live with/work around or else she's got something else that's really bothering her inside and maybe something that's not even specifically related to the girlfriend.
Having said ALL that, I'd say if you're correct about her just not liking your friends/girlfriends, do what Greek One has suggested (tell your friends she's like that toward all your friends and not to take it personally).
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