3 days left..................

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   kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

   
   
   What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
   Claustrophobic.
   
   
   
   Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
   So he can ho-ho-ho.
   
   
   
   Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
   Because he had low elf esteem.
   
   
   
   What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
   Frostbite.
   
   
   
   What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
   Snowflakes.
   
   
   
   What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
   Sandy Claws.
   
   
   
   What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
   Ribbon hood.
   
   
   
   There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red.
   He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his
   wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her
   and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even
   looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It
   must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the
   Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
   
   
   
   T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air.
   
   
   
   Did you know that according to the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", Santa has twelve reindeer? Sure, in the introduction it goes "There's Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen..." That makes eight reindeer. Then there's Rudolph, of course, so that makes nine. Then there's Olive. You know, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh..." That makes ten. The eleventh is Howe. You know, "Then Howe the reindeer loved him..." Eleven reindeer. Oh, and number 12? That's Andy! "Andy shouted out with glee." The proof is in the song!
   Originally Contributed by: unknown...We were reminded about Andy by Paul Grupe!
   
   
   
   -Knock knock
   *Who's there?
   -Mary!
   *Mary who?
   -Merry Christmas
   Contributed by: Evelien from Belgium
   
   
   
   Knock, knock
   Who's there?
   Chris!
   Chris who?
   Christmas!!!!
   Contributed by: John Barkovich
   
   
   
   Q: What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
   A: A puddle!
   
   Q: Where do reindeer go to dance?
   A: Christmas balls!
   
   Q: If Frosty the Snowman married a vampire,what would they name their child?
   A: Frostbite!!
   Contributed by: Cassie Hauser
   
   
   
   Q: What's red, white and blue at Christmas time?
   A: A sad candy cane!
   Contributed by: Laura Sylvester
   
   
   Q: What did Mary Poppins want from Santa?
   A: Supercalifragilisticexpialisnowshoes!
   Contributed by: Jemima
   
   
   Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
   A: A mince spy!
   Contributed by: Tara Wade
   
   
   It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
   Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.
   Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
   "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.
   Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
   Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."
   Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
   "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

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      Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      Thank you Kimberly for the laughs.

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      Daniella Lopezposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hehe... thanks for the giggles.

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   kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

   bet you can't do worse than that !

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      bbnixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'll take that bet...
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      

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3. 92

   habeeposted 12 years ago

   Kimbo, I hope Santa is good to you this year!

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I jst hope he's making better electronics

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   klarawieckposted 12 years ago

   I loved the weeweechu joke. It reminded me of the spanish version of the national anthem. It's "jose, can't you see?"

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   manlypoetrymanposted 12 years ago

   By God....those were funny! Had to pull myself back-up off the floor...after the last one. Want to "weechu" a Merry Christmas, KL...thanks for the laffs!

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   MickeySrposted 12 years ago

   Jesus, the Good Shepherd, loves all of His flock - but, how does He specifically wish Mary a happy holiday?
   
   
   . . . "Merry Christmas to ewe".

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      

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   kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

   I heard  Santa is low on elves this year so he has had to buy most the gifts from e bay, he didn't know he had to bid and came up dry
   
   I'm pissed

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   Sunshine625posted 12 years ago

   Thanks for the humor kimberly!!

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   kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

   

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    kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

    

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    kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

    

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       Hollie Thomasposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Just checked my e-mails. You've made me chuckle again.

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       Hollie Thomasposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Bless you, Kimberley.

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