Sarcasm ONLY.

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   Eric Newlandposted 12 years ago

   Oh yeah. This'll be a great thread.

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      Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oh suuuuurre.
      
      haha
      
      
      (psst---it can't help but be better than some of the rudely sarcastic ones that've popped up). 
      I like your sense of humor Eric.

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      Reality Bytesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Great idea for a thread......NOT! 

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      Jason Marovichposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      This was an excellent idea.

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      Jason Marovichposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      My traffic is edging up toward 10k views in the past 24 hours as we head into the internet-buzzing weekend.

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         Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I was just taking to my limo driver the other day about doing a hub on my massive success. He laughed jovially and suggested that I should perhaps complete my collection of every Cadillac ever built to give the article extra punch.
         
         Well, sure, I said, as soon as Amazon pays me all that they owe me in back commission. I've told them if they can't afford it I'll be happy to settle for the controlling share of the company.
         
         We laughed all the way to my Olympic-sized champagne pool.

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            couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Oh, what a cute story. Reminds me of when I invented the 'shopping cart' feature for the then newly exploding world of e-commerce. The children were gathered around the hearth waiting to hear about how my 'day at the office' went. Chuckle. Day at the office. Nothing but lattes and buckets of shrimp these days.
            
            Anyway. I was telling them that most people actually had to buy their own clothes and food and necessities themselves. (How do you explain to a 5 yr. old that not every child has a Miss Penelope to fend for them?)
            
            So, as the story unfolded, my little Genevieve said, "Mommy, when you say shopping cart, do you mean like the homeless people we see on the way to the airport when we go to Caan?" Isn't that adorable? The homeless people. That one has certainly learned philanthrophy.
            
            "Yes, my little darling." Now, all those busy, busy people who don't have time to buy clothes and milk can simply go on their computers and plunk an item into a virtual shopping cart. It's like having their own Miss Penelope."
            
            Well, the children and I laughed and laughed and then Miss Penelope tucked them in while John and I sat in the aviary and discussed the vines.
            
            Tah. Must run. Kiss, kiss.

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               dagny rothposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Bahahahahaha....nice one!
               Although you certainly shouldn't poke fun at those of us who are serious freelancers.  One should always be greatful...if even for a few cents.  Why just yesterday I allowed MY daughter (Penelope less) to purchase a lollipop.  Luckily my writing profits allowed for the splurge.  (And luckily she had a little extra from her piggy bank to cover me) whew!  The things I am greatful for these days.

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                  Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  You underestimate the sheer amount of monetary demand for anecdotes about baby poop written with zero keyword research.

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                     Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     The anecdotes were written with zero keyword research, not the baby poop.

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                        dagny rothposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        Really?  I just added baby poop to my ebay capsule.  Can you believe you can get it used?!!

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                           Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                           Better than the new stuff, really. It's much better after it's broken in a bit.

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            Jason Marovichposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Those Amazon deadbeats.
            
            Freelance writing might pay well, but the stuff we have to put up with when we could be out walking our poodles...  Nothing's ever easy, I swear.

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               Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               As I said to them (and to Google, when I recently met with them to discuss ways to push HubPages' rankings even higher with the next Panda update), if you didn't want people to get rich off your affiliate program you shouldn't have created a program so effective that it practically compels the reader to click.
               
               And don't even get me started on eBay.

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                  Jason Marovichposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Sarcasm time-out:  LOL.

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                  couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Jolly good time.

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      couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Whatever, dude.

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         Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah... yeah.... yeah!
         
         So that's a pretty smooth underarm...
         
         But what sort of razor are you using for those lips? 

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   Mark Ewbieposted 12 years ago

   It doesn't get any better than this.

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      Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your sarcasm is of the highest quality.

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         Mark Ewbieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I can't thank you enough for that Eric, it has made a great day even better.

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            Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            I also am having a great day. I awoke feeling well rested, and I'm just sorry it's Friday and that I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

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               Mark Ewbieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Thankfully your responses have...
               
               Actually.
               
               I didn't think it was possible to run out of sarcasm.

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                  Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  (not sarcastic) I think we stacked the meta-sarcasm too high and it fell over.
                  
                  (sarcastic) I'm sure things will improve.

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                     Mark Ewbieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Yep.  There's only one way this can go now.
                     
                     edit: Two ways.

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                        kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                          sorry.

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   lobobrandonposted 12 years ago

   Wow this is amazing! Never seen such great stuff before

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   Melindas Mindposted 12 years ago

   Whatever.

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   kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago

   Seriously?

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      Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Deadly so.

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         couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I think a tear has escaped my well lashed eye.

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   2uesdayposted 12 years ago

   I had to remove some of my pages because the amount of traffic they had been getting lately was causing the site to crash.

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      couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I hear you. I talked to my buddy, Rush, today and he told me what to do. I don't sweat the small stuff though. When I pick up my magamillions tonight, I'll turn HP back over to the little people.

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   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   I don't do sarcasm very well, but I'm participating in the thread to raise my hubscore, hubkarma, hubberscore, accolades, follower count, and earnings. I'm sure it will help.

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      Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sure it will get you Hub of the Day for every single one of your hubs in a row. Four solid months, all Rochelle, all the time. Congratulations in advance.

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      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      OMG.... Had you noticed that your Owl had Expired Rochelle?

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   Kangaroo_Jaseposted 12 years ago

   Seriously, i really dont know how all you people whom joined HubPages after me survived this site based only on my extremely good looks alone...

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      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That answer is easy... Clearly you were too busy with your nasal pruning to notice it was posted on the same day!
      
      I believe a Forum Troll described the relationship she had had with you Jase, quote: "as being something akin to jumping a joey while the roo was looking the other way!"
      
      I have absolutely no idea what that meant... Just saying... you know... not sarcastically or meant to hurt your feelings!  

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         Kangaroo_Jaseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         PD,
         I believe you just described the 'Wombat Principle' said Forum troll had had with me in terms of that relationship

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            Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            I've heard of that Jase....
            
            So I bet you feel really violated...
            
            Was it your Joey or your Pouch that got stretched mate?

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               Kangaroo_Jaseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Lets just say it is no longer as big as a Kiwi Fruit

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                  Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  ONO... so it was your poor little Joey then? 
                  
                  That will teach you for feeding the Trolls Jase!
                  
                  Take Care Digger!

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                     Kangaroo_Jaseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     roflmao

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

   i'm terrible at being sarcastic...it's just not in me...so i'll just read the posts...i know, i know, boring young me......

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    Jonathan Jancoposted 12 years ago

    This really is a fantastic thread Eric. Did you create this all by yourself, or did you hire a couple of fouryrolds to help you?

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       Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Why do they Dress YOU in Pink?

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          Jonathan Jancoposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          It's a soft focus created on the lens of the camera due to the light I emitted as a child.
          

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    Randy Godwinposted 12 years ago

    You guys are great! 
    
    
                                           

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    Shadesbreathposted 12 years ago

    You guys are hilarious.

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       Kangaroo_Jaseposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, still awaiting some of the gals to throw out some babies.....I mean funnies.

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    pedrogposted 12 years ago

    I think this thread should be about religion, there are few threads about this issue on this forum!

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       Shadesbreathposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Genius idea.

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       Eric Newlandposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Ditto politics. I've found that it's extremely difficult to rouse people because everyone is so objective. The right-wingers refuse to believe that Obama is Hitler and Stalin combined, and the left-wingers refuse to believe that the Tea Party and the Jews are plotting together to take over the world! Don't people have imaginations anymore?

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    Eric Newlandposted 12 years ago

    Since I became a father I sometimes fear that I am getting too much sleep.

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       couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       If I knew having kids was going to be so much fun, I could've saved a lot of money on drugs.

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    Eric Newlandposted 12 years ago

    Since it's April Fool's Day, every post must now be completely literal. You might think this means you can't be sarcastic, but you would be wrong. It's meta-sarcasm.

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    Keith Worthposted 12 years ago

    This is the only thread I've found worth posting in.

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    ytsenohposted 12 years ago

    My dad died on April Fool's day.  I think he did it on purpose.  Do you really have a limo driver?  If so, why aren't you running for President?  You could make the world laugh and Ewbie could draw your campaign slogans.

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    dagny rothposted 12 years ago

    thought I would troll for the lamest thread I could find.  Just wanted you to know you were in my thoughts today.

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    nonslick50posted 12 years ago

    Interesting.

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    paradigmsearchposted 12 years ago

    

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       Rosie2010posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       

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    jennzieposted 11 years ago

    I'm so glad I get to go to work tomorrow. Nothing better than working on a Sunday (or any day of the week really).

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    tobey100posted 11 years ago

    My favorite forum topic, hands down!

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       Eric Newlandposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Wait...

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    donnaMhicksposted 11 years ago

    Can we post this topic on Facebook so I can "unlike" it?

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       Eric Newlandposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       That sounds like a great idea.

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          Jesus was a hippyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          So does your mum

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       Jason Marovichposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I don't know, can we even post HP forums on Facebook?  If so, we can post it.  I'm sure everyone that reads this is at least trying to post it on Facebook, trending topic that it is.

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    Xenonlitposted 11 years ago

    Yeah, this idea is so great that I might take tomorrow off and read all of this forum post! But ooops...I have a life, so I guess I won't be able to. Soooo Sorry. I'm with you in spirit, though!

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    markbennisposted 11 years ago

    Naah!  She will be back to read it from start to finish and in the flesh too. 

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    By His Wayposted 11 years ago

    Mindless therapy...aahhhhh

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    By His Wayposted 11 years ago

    

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