Potty training - when is it the right time?

1. 61

   LeanneSmithposted 11 years ago

   When is the best age to potty train a boy? I know girls do it earlier at about 2, but not sure when is best for boys. Also is it easier to do it during the summer or winter?

   replyreport
2. 68

   Pearldiverposted 11 years ago

   Wow... Good Question!
   
   I've met some pretty big boys and girls in life who clearly never had the benefit of formal potty training!
   'Freedom' campers from all over the world seem to demonstrate their crappy potty skills beside some of the most spectacular scenery in New Zealand! 
   In some parts, if they get caught and deny it belongs to them, they get their noses rubbed in it and must undergo compulsory 'potty' training after the boot has been removed from their lower extremities! 

   replyreport
3. 64

   Brisbanelocksmithposted 11 years ago

   I didn't realize Boys and Girls were trained at different times.  You would want to start training them as soon as possible wouldn't you?

   replyreport
4. 61

   LeanneSmithposted 11 years ago

   Yes I completely agree Pearldiver I think I have lived with some of those people during my University days!!
   I have been told that girls usually start earlier than boys, and have also been told that once you start you have to follow through (excuse the pun) with it. So I really don't want to start too early and my son not being ready - that could create a whole load of unneccessary mess.
   Thanks for your replies

   replyreport
5. 0

   DemiTposted 11 years ago

   Potty training is a nightmare for most parents but it something that we all did it in one way or another. It does not matter if it is a boy or girl. All children need their time and for each one it is a different time. Other kids learn at 2 or 3 but please do not stress too much about it. The best advice I can give you is that wait until your kid does not like to be wet and asks you to change the nappy. I will definitely try to do it during warm weather, because you can let them all day wetting themselves and eventually/hopefully they will connect the two together. I have  a 2 1/2yr old daughter and she is very stubborn. I am still in the process of potty training and although sometimes it seems that it will never happen, I have faith!!! Good luck Leanne

   replyreport
6. 61

   LeanneSmithposted 11 years ago

   Thanks DemiT
   I agree, I think I will wait until the summer now and just take it as it comes. I really don't want to force the issue so I will wait until I see some signs that he wants to start.
   Many thanks for the advice

   replyreport
7. 94

   LongTimeMotherposted 11 years ago

   People talk about potty training their children, but really you are potty training yourself. It's not when they're ready ... it's when you're ready. If the child gets sick of waiting for you to get around to it, they might make the first move but success has a lot to do with the commitment and attitude of the parent.
   My oldest child was born in the days before disposables. No kidding, I had her using the potty long before her first birthday and completely out of nappies night and day by the time she was one. My commitment to the cause was inspired by my hate of the smell of wet nappies in nappy buckets, the time it took to wash and dry them, and the number of nappies I lost down the toilet when I tried flushing the really messy bits down the loo and lost hold of the corner of the cloth nappy. So, yes, the thought of blocking my plumbing also made me more inclined to play the potty game.
   Years later with the convenience of disposable nappies I was less committed to potty training. Interesting though, I became green and conscious of the enormous contribution nappies make to land fill so I reverted to cloth nappies by choice for my youngest. Back to early potty training again!
   Here's how it works ... you make the effort to take a nappy off while it is still dry and hold your baby over the potty until they go when they are really young, then you sit them on one of those potties with a little table top and things to play with when they are older. You get them used to having a dry bottom instead getting comfortable in wet nappies. The trick is not to bore them or torture them or make potty time unattractive in any way. That's why in the first instance it is training yourself, because many times when you think it is a good time for them, nothing happens so you wrap them up again and try a while later. Winter has the advantage of giving them a bit of extra cool when they sit on the potty and I found that quite helpful.
   Is it worth the effort? It depends on your attitude to the alternatives. I enjoyed taking off dry nappies much more than wet or messy ones.

   replyreport
8. 61

   LeanneSmithposted 11 years ago

   Hi LongTimeMother
   Gosh potty trained before 1yr is pretty impressive and the non-disposables seem like a nasty job, although I do agree that disposables are really environmentally bad. Right so basically I need to get myself into gear and get started when I feel it's right. I think I might be worrying about it much more than I should be and just get on with it so that is what I will do. But I think I will start in the summer because it is pretty cold in the UK at the moment.
   Thanks for all your responses

   replyreport
   1. 94

      LongTimeMotherposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That's the way. The vast majority of successful parenting boils down to instinct. It's a mix of following the heart and gut instinct with occasional input from your head. If your heart or your gut tells you there's a problem, that's when you use your head to find a solution.
      It is always useful to get ideas from other parents, but every child and every parent is different. Do what you think is right for you. Winter where I was living in Australia at the time was very different to winter in the UK. Sitting on a cool toilet in a Sydney winter is very different to sitting on an ice block. Summer sounds great.

      replyreport
      1. 61

         LeanneSmithposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         So really it is the same as all aspects of parenting - go with your gut. Summer it is then - thanks LongTimeMother.

         replyreport
9. 95

   leahleflerposted 11 years ago

   Every child is different, but I agree with waiting for warm weather. It makes a huge difference! My older son was a nightmare to train, but we now know there is a medical reason behind his issues (so if your child takes an unreasonably long time to train, make sure to check things out with a doctor). My younger son trained in a week, and was dry during the day and night - I was amazed at how easily he took to it with the trauma of trying to train our older son.

   replyreport
10. 61

    LeanneSmithposted 11 years ago

    wow that's great leahlefler lets hope we follow the week pattern. Sorry to hear there were complications with your oldest son, I hope they are all sorted now

    replyreport
    1. 95

       leahleflerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       It was a nice surprise. My younger son was three when we trained him, because we didn't want to go through the awfulness of my older son's issues. We have most of his issues sorted out now - but it requires constant "maintenance" and a strict schedule to prevent accidents (he's seven now). He just had a sleep study and has apnea as well, so hopefully once we get that under control we'll see some success at nighttime, too.
       
       One thing I have noticed is that the definition of "potty trained" varies quite a bit. My grandmother considered her kids "potty trained" before the age of 1 because she could run them to a potty in time to catch the pee. My own definition of "potty trained" is different - the independent recognition of when a child needs to go and use of the toilet with only minimal assistance.

       replyreport
       1. 94

          LongTimeMotherposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          lol. That's the stage that I consider parents to be potty training themselves. In my family potty trained is the point where the child just holds it in until you put them on the potty or they let you know they need to go. I was lucky with my eldest because she was quick to communicate even before she spoke properly. She'd take herself to the potty chair (which I kept clean and left in a corner of the main living area even when friends came to visit) and put her arms up to be lifted on. It had a little plastic insert that made it look like a chair when not being used, but we never used it as a chair just a potty.
          I took her to the potty at night again when I went to bed even though she was ten parts asleep and first thing in the morning. I kept her in nappies for a while after she started waiting for the potty but they were always dry in the day and it only took a couple of extra weeks for her to get through the nights successfully. If we were away from home or in the backyard when she was really little, she'd tap herself showing me she needed the toilet and I'd just find one to hold her over.
          The first stage though really is a parent training themselves, like your grandmother did. I can imagine your frustration with your older son's problems. It must be frustrating for him as well. Good luck with sorting it out.

          replyreport
          1. 61

             LeanneSmithposted 11 years agoin reply to this

             My cousin does the same as you, her little girl is slightly younger than my son and she just put a potty out and she takes herself onto it herself! She calls it self training (think it was accidental really but it seems to have worked really well) might give that one a go lol.

             replyreport
       2. 61

          LeanneSmithposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Ha ha I like your Grans definition of potty training! I hope you manage to get the night times sorted

          replyreport