Does happily ever after exist?

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   moneyfairyposted 10 years ago

   Do any of you believe in happily ever after or is it all just a hollywood farse?

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      moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Just curious if you know anyone that has lived the happily ever after lifestyle?

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         moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         We hear that it does happen for some but is it possible for everyone?

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I believe there are people who wouldn't trade their marriage for anything in the world! Having said that it does not mean their lives have been "smooth sailing". Every couple has disagreements from time to time, misunderstandings, and sometimes inflict pain upon one another unintentionally or intentionally over the course of a lifetime together.
      
      "There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we (learn) to be happy with what we have."
      
      Once we accept the fact that none of us is perfect we start to have "realistic expectations". Hollywood movies (end) with the wedding. In reality the wedding is the (beginning). People and relationships evolve overtime. We're either growing together or growing apart. Ultimately the goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage, (naturally agrees) with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another. Once this has been accomplished (communication) becomes your GPS system to ensure you are both happy going in the direction you agreed upon.

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   moneyfairyposted 10 years ago

   Look forward to hearing your views on this subject.

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   Beth37posted 10 years ago

   I don't think there is some perfect couple with no problems.
   Life is hard. Harder for some than others, but in my opinion, having a happier life is in how you deal with the cards that are dealt you.
   It seems like everyone is giving up these days. Maybe happily ever after is in the not giving up...
   looking back on a life full of valleys and knowing you didn't give up... that you climbed out of the mire and found solid ground again. Maybe happily ever after is just a vantage point and it can't be achieved until it's all over.

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      moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I think what you said is so very true. Some don't stick it out and they(the guy usually) seems to always think the grass is greener on the other side and go looking elsewhere. It's just sad.

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         Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         It's funny how (some) men are conditioned to think. I remember talking to one man about the issue of unfaithfulness in marriage and he said "It's a shame that a man would lose every thing for a leg up." or maybe it was "a leg over"? I don't know... he was English and you know they just make stuff up.
         So with some men, they're not even looking for something better... they just can't resist the candy in the dish until they've learned how much they have to lose. It's kind of like Adam and Eve in the garden... they lost every thing over a taste of fruit. It's a good lesson... the hardest part is forgiving, I don't know if you ever forget, but that's a daily process Im sure.

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            moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            One can always forgive but the point is obviously they don't love you if they are looking elsewhere . It would be nice to find someone who doesn't look at every skirt walking by but someone who is truly in love with you and would never ever do anything to hurt you. I know we are all not 100% perfect but cheating breaks down any trust that was ever created. You can forgive but you'll always wonder when is the next time etc...it's not a healthy way of being in a relationship. Love and trust is a must without that there is nothing right?Sometimes it feels that staying single and safe is better than being with someone you don't trust and that has hurt you(emotionally).

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               Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

               True, but it's not blanket advice. There are circumstances that enter in to every situation, and ppl can change with help... other wise AA wouldn't work for anyone.

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                  moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  true but more often than not once a cheater always a cheater and obviously something is missing if they feel they need to cheat right? Why stay with someone who doesn't know that you are the best thing that ever happened to them, why would you want anything less than the best for your highest good?

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                     Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     I think we see happily ever after differently.

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                        moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                        Yes I guess so because I have known women who stay together for religious reasons etc..but they are miserable and just living a barely tolerable life rather than being truly in love and happy with someone who loves and respects them etc... I guess I'll probably hold out till the end. I'd rather be single than in an unhappy non-monogomus relationship. But that's just me.

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                           Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                           I totally understand that. I have felt that way many times, but like I said, I believe all situations are different. In my case, my husband has gone thru a huge change... a true one. He's worked extremely hard. I actually don't fear unfaithfulness again as just how to recover what was lost. In our case I think we're learning that the life we had is over and a new one must begin. When there are kids involved and a changed life... it's worth it to not take the easy way out... at least that's where we're at.

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                              moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                              Beth I am happy for you that he has changed and you feel safe about him not being unfaithful. Relationships are a lot of work but if kids are involved it is worth the effort. All the best on your new start together.

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                     dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     "Once a cheater always a cheater" is a B.S. statement that people who have been cheated on use to protect themselves. The reality is if someone can be a former drinker, former smoker, and former drug user then it makes no sense to believe that someone who cheated is STUCK being a cheater for the rest of their life no matter how much they want to quit.
                     
                     Both monogamy and cheating are lifestyle (choices) that people make. No one stays faithful or cheats against their will.

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                        moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                        That last statement is correct that no one cheats against thier will...they do it selfishly and on purpose for thier own ends, not giving a moments thought about the one they are currently with. Faithful people love and respect the person they are with and would never even think about cheating or hurting the one they are with, because they have more love for the one they are with, more than a radom urge to try something new. It comes down to self control some have it and some do not, but yes some can change if they so choose but most(in the non-monogomy/cheating realm) do not because for them it's the thrill of always something new and exciting and what else is next etc...

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   peeplesposted 10 years ago

   Short and sweet, "Happily ever after work".  Happy does not exist without work.

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      moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That is so very true.!!!

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      bipolartistposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      ...and it is the greatest job I have known. I am the CEO of my own Happily Ever After and the payout is monumental.

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         moneyfairyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         bipolartist:glad you are enjoying monumental payouts good for you!!
         glad your happily ever has showed up for you!!!

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