Can I get some feedback on this hub?

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   Freya Yukiposted 9 years ago

   Hi there. Can I get some feedback and constructive criticism on this hub that I just published? I'd like to know what you think about it, whether good or bad. I'd also appreciate any tips / suggestions / advice that you can give especially with regards to the article title.
   
   I'm kind of really bad with titles and I think I always end up with articles that have really long titles. I kept changing and considering possible titles for this article but I'm not sure if I ended up with the right or the best title. I eventually settled with this title, "Why Dumbledore Shouldn't Know What Voldemort Did To The Potters?" But I also considered these titles:
   
   "Why it doesn't make sense for Albus Dumbledore to know what happened to Harry Potter and his parents?"
   "How does Albus Dumbledore know what Voldemort did to Harry Potter and his parents?"
   "How does Dumbledore know what Voldemort did to James, Lily and Harry Potter (HP Series)?"
   "How does Dumbledore know what Voldemort did to the Potters (HP series)?"
   
   Any ideas? I'm not sure if I'm being too descriptive or too vague with these titles. I tried to keep them short but I don't know how else to shorten the title without being too vague and having to worry if people will be able to get what the topic of the article will be about based on the title.
   
   Thanks
   
   This is the link to the article I just published: http://freyayuki.hubpages.com/hub/albus … -hp-series 
   
   (By the way, I really like how the articles look here. It's great to be able to add lots of images, videos, polls, etc to add more life to the articles and make them more visual and colorful. On some other sites, you can hardly add anything except maybe one image or something so the article might not look as pretty. Now I'm thinking if maybe I should move some of my HP articles here? But I don't have AdSense yet though I do have an Amazon affiliate account)

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   1. 88

      Stacie Lposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      First of all,Welcome to Hubpages.
      Secondly, you have too many amazon ads on your hub.
      
      I thought about the title and maybe you should keep it simple;
      -What did Voldamort Do to Harry's Potters Family?
      -What did Dumbledore Know about Voldamort?
      -What ever Happened to the Potter Family?
      -What Dumbledore Didn't Know
      Admittedly I am not an expert in the whole Harry potter series so you can get the idea.

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   2. 85

      Robinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Welcome to HubPages!  I appreciate that you are asking for advice on your Hubs.   Thanks for sharing your expertise on Harry Potter; it's a favorite series of mine and our kids.  One of the biggest adjustments that I think former lensmasters will have to make is to reduce the number of products in your Hubs.  This Hub should have one maybe two products.  In fact, this topic might even lend itself to no products.  It is likely that someone that is searching for this topic has already read the book and owns it.  Your page will look a lot cleaner, more professional, and trustworthy if you remove products.  We have found that one well placed product does 15 times better than multiple products.  The readers eye becomes blind to the products and it hurts your credibility. If you put yourself in the place of the reader, you will be lead in the right direction.    That's my biggest advice moving forward. 
      
      Here's an idea for a title:  Holes in the Harry Potter Plot:  Dumbledore's Knowledge of the Potters' Deaths
      
      Best of luck!!

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2. 91

   greatstuffposted 9 years ago

   In addition to comments from Stacie, try not to put the Amazon ad at the top of the page. Readers might get put off. Instead, place Amazon ad. after your third capsule.
   
   Title should be search friendly. Unfortunately I am also not a Harry Potter fan, so can't give you ideas on keywords that people will be searching for.

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3. 42

   Freya Yukiposted 9 years ago

   Stacie L, greatstuff, Robin - Thanks for the welcome and thanks for the feedback to my article especially for the title suggestions . I’ll try the titles, experiment with them and see which one will work best.
   
   About the first Amazon capsule that appears on the top right – when I preview my article in edit mode with ads on and when I look at some of the articles here, I see that there’s an AdSense ad box that shows up right on that spot (I saw the ad placements on the FAQ page too). I don’t have AdSense yet so I deliberately placed that Amazon capsule there. It’s meant to replace the AdSense ad box.
   
   That and the book itself is related to the article as I explained in the description box. Also, I wanted to add the image of the first book on my hub since I see that, in my profile page, the first image of the hub gets featured as a thumbnail there so I wanted people to see what the hub was about in case the title confused them or something.
   
   About the rest of the Amazon capsules – they're there for their images. I specifically chose the items based on their images (the Amazon pictures look big enough to easily be seen) because they're meant to illustrate and add more color to the article.
   
   For example, when I was talking about Voldemort, I included the image of him so people can see what he looks like, when I mentioned Godric’s Hollow, I included the image of the house, when I was talking about Dumbledore, I featured his image, etc. So the placement of those capsules was also deliberate- I placed them right where I was talking about them (I read somewhere here that we should place items / pics right beside the textbox where we talk about the item / pic).
   
   I added the descriptions too so people can get / understand why the photo was being shown there. This is because most, if not all, of the Harry Potter images are copyrighted so I can’t use those images for my article.
   
   I did check / read the rules and I believe the rule is that we can add 1 Amazon capsule per 50 words of text. I double-checked my article and I believe that I'm following this rule (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). 
   
   My thought process / reasoning was this – I tried to think of what readers will want and what I'd want to see if I was the reader. I thought readers might get turned off if the articles looked too plain (if it only contained text); they might get bored or something especially if the article is long. So I thought of making it more visual / interesting / appealing by adding the capsules to the right and using the blue background color.
   
   In this way, people can see something nice and colorful every time they scroll through the page so they're not just greeted with plain text and more text. This is also why I added all the headers – with these, people should be able to easily skim through the article if they want to.
   
   I also took the time to give a short explanation on the things I mentioned in the article (like what the Fidelius Charm is, who Albus Dumbledore is, who is Voldemort, etc) for the benefit of those who may be new to the HP series.
   
   But, I don’t know, maybe it’s too visual or something? I’ll keep working on improving my articles. I'll also see if I can add more videos, polls, etc.
   
   But I’d also like to hear other people’s opinions / thoughts about this. Again, thanks very much for the feedback and welcome .

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   1. 85

      Robinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Freya!  Thanks for your thoughtful reply.  I think you are going to do great on HubPages because I can tell that you are here to create beautiful, useful pages.  Here are my thoughts on your last post. 
      
      You can always use creative commons photos instead of products.  You are within the rules for the number of products, but I strongly believe that Hubbers shouldn't add products unless they feel that their readers will really want to see them.  For example, if you didn't add the product, would your reader say, "Gosh, I wish they would have added a product here so that I could buy it right now."  If you strongly believe your reader will say that when reading your article, then add the product. 
      
      Go to Wikimedia Commons and search for Harry Potter.  There are a lot of wikipedia pages that have cc images.  I think this is better than inserting the product.  There's even one of Voldemort and Godric's Hollow. 
      
      
      
      I agree!  Since your intent is not to sell products but to have a beautiful page, then the cc images would be so much better.  Your readers would trust your content more and won't think you are simply writing the Hub to sell them something. 
      
      
      
      Videos would be a great addition!

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      1. 42

         Freya Yukiposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you very much for your helpful suggestions . I am continuing to improve my article. Just now, I've added an image, some videos and even a quiz.

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