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1. 80

   Sed-meposted 9 years ago

   Hospitable or harassing?
   
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A

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   1. 82

      snakeslaneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Seemed like it was mixed, a little of both with some pretty obvious aggressive attention. If it was my small town I would probably be saying 'Hi' right back to most of them, viewing them as harmless, although irritating gestures, but in this setting, seems more threatening maybe because it's a big city. I'm sure it would get tiring to be centered out this way constantly while just walking down the street minding your own business, and it would start to feel like harassment even when/if it was not intended.

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   2. 61

      bBereanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Eye opening.  Probably should be part of middle school curriculum for guys to teach them young how much of a jerk they come across as even if they wrap it in a polite but unwarranted comment. 
      
      Certainly not hospitable since there is a clearly implied ulterior motive.  A friendly or hospitable comment would be dispersed when an interaction is immanent, such as crossing paths or entering a doorway at about the same time.  Throwing a comment at a passing person when no interaction would otherwise occur, with no soliciting glance or gesture is annoying at least if not rude. 
      
      Most would not rise to the level of harassment though, as they are merely social "pings".  A signal sent out hoping for an echo back.  Where I saw harassment was not so much in comments, although there were a few, but rather in behaviors like deliberately matching pace and trying to intimidate her into interacting.  Downright creepy and impromptu stalking. 
      
      I expect most of the guys weren't bad folks, just totally unaware how pathetic and irritating this comes across.  It would be different in a small, slow community where folks make eye contact and smile as they pass in which case a look that lingers might invite a brief verbal acknowledgement.  A woman with eyes straight ahead, obviously not wanting to be engaged with a brisk step amidst the hustle and bustle of a big city clearly is not inviting interaction.

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      1. 80

         Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I agree with that 100%.
         I think that is a great idea for young boys to see. Maybe at that age, while still vulnerable, they might be able to empathize with what it feels like to be smaller, weaker and singled out. I think she must have been weary by the end of that walk... and I would imagine she would be found with a few walls up when it comes time for dating.

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   3. 72

      rhamsonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This goes both directions albeit many of the men were harassing in nature. Walking beside her is a definite invasion of her space and intimidating. Should she have enticed comment with what she was wearing displaying her features with little left to the imagination? There are many other types of clothing that may have cut back on the amounts of stares and catcalls she received. On the other hand with a two second window of opportunity to garner her attention what should a bonafied possible suitor be limited to say?

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      1. 80

         Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Did you find her clothes revealing? I found her dress to be rather subdued and ordinary.

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         1. 84

            oceansnsunsetsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            That is what got me too.  I wonder if her jeans must have been super tight, and in that sense asking for attention?  I just don't see how that is asking for trouble, what I could see.  I haven't been to New York.

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            1. 80

               Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I am on the tall side. My parents and I went to Cancun Mexico on vacation. I was hit on constantly by grown men. One man followed me around a set of stores begging me to come to a party that night. His name was George, he told me... must have been Jorge. I was very uncomfortable. I didn't realize the men were hitting on me at the time... I was eleven. My daughter and I were at a Walmart once, she was within eyesight. A man was looking her up and down and freaking me out. I walked up right behind him and just clapped my hands really loudly by his head, then turned and walked away like I'd had no idea what had happened. lol... Crazy, but I just had this need to protect her and I felt suddenly really angry. She was eleven. Girls of eleven are not even developed yet.

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         2. 72

            rhamsonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Yes I did find her clothes revealing. So did most of the men who catcalled her. You see there is a difference between finding her clothes revealing and acting on it. She knew it and made a point of it by wearing what she did. Had she worn a loose, long dress maybe the experiment might have exposed a different reaction. I find it funny that women who wear provocative clothing to stand out are offended by the attention of unwanted encounters. Are we all equal? Certainly, but we are men and women also. What if she had been in her sixties with a different figure and clothing? What would the reaction of her admirers have been?

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            1. 80

               Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I didn't really think of her clothes as revealing. No cleavage, no bare skin... all in black. I suppose it fit her form, but her shirt wasn't all that tight. I mean, she looked attractive, but I didn't think she was "asking for it." Being attractive shouldn't be the same thing as "asking for it."

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               1. 72

                  rhamsonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  ....I suppose it fit her form
                  
                  Bingo! If you don't get how that works then I guess we are doomed to reach an understanding.

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   4. 84

      oceansnsunsetsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It makes me feel naive.  I kept thinking, "why doesn't she say hi back?"  Some seemed genuine.  The way it was done, makes it sound like there is no possibility of just genuine friendliness.  This is why I looked at it all, then thought, maybe I am super naive of how it is in New York?  Then again, I am from So. Cal, and had my fair share of jerks when I was a teenager especially at the beach..... 
      
      So if she said hi, would she be leading them on, and "be asking for more trouble?" Or did she almost get more attention for totally ignoring them?  I don't know what to think exactly, to be honest.  Interesting though.

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2. 88

   Stacie Lposted 9 years ago

   I watched the video and noticed most of the guys were fairly young men doing the catcalling. It's probably a challenge for them to look "macho" in front of the other guys to see who can attract an attractive woman.
   I'll bet most of these macho guys would be too intimidated to approach her without spectators !

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   1. 72

      rhamsonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Don't be too sure of that.

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3. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   I remember seeing a documentary about 15 years ago about street harassment of women and how dangerous it is.  Street harassment creates an uncertain and unsafe atmosphere for women.  It also impinges upon the freedom of women.  No women should be unnecessarily fearful of encountering her environment.

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   1. 80

      Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That's a good quote, GM.

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   2. 72

      rhamsonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      ...No women should be unnecessarily fearful of encountering her environment.
      
      Except if she is expecting her environment to adapt to her.

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