I'd like feedback on my Hub: 10 Things About Pregnancy and Birth You NEED to Kno

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   Ashley R Ladwigposted 8 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article,10 Things About Pregnancy and Birth You NEED to Know (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      WryLiltposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      As it's not featured, we can't view it you can, however, post a direct link in this forum.
      
      Also, you can go into your profile settings and choose to display hubs that are unfeatured.
      
      I'm a birth doula and pregnancy blogger, so I'd love to read it.

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      Ashley R Ladwigposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oh I'm sorry- here's the link:
      
      http://ashleyrladwig.hubpages.com/hub/I … -Pregnancy

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         WryLiltposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         I love love love your writing style, it's absolutely hilarious and kept me reading the whole way without stopping (rare for me, since I'm usually a skimmer).
         
         However as a birth doula I see a lot of inaccuracies in the content. Would you like me to email you or would you prefer to leave it as is?

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   Kylyssaposted 8 years ago

   The text itself is great except for a few minor grammar and spelling errors here and there. (It should actually be 'udders' rather than 'utters' as to utter is to speak, not to lactate.)
   
   The organization is most likely the problem. I'd suggest giving each point its own text capsule with a title to it that includes a number. When you use numbers in a title, people expect numbers in the body of the piece. Then you can also break each point into more than one paragraph as needed, too. Some of your paragraphs seem confused because they cover too many topics at once.
   
   The introduction is a little bit weak compared to the body of your text, which I found both funny and witty. I think you need to come on witty, strong, and clear in the introduction and place the introduction first thing on the page, right at the top.
   
   The photos will work better interspersed with the text rather than clustered before and after the main body of the piece. Starting off with two photos in a row, readers have to scroll down through them and all the advertisements that will be inserted later before hitting your introduction.
   
   Also, it may have been evaluated by an Amazon Turk user whose English skills aren't strong enough to understand humor or to recognize when quirky grammar is used for effect. You'll likely get a different Turker when you resubmit it so that likely won't be an issue on the next go.

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      Ashley R Ladwigposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you SO much!!  Xo

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      Ashley R Ladwigposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Okay I fixed the suggestions- thanks again so much!
      
      PRAYING it stays featured this time!!!

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3. 91

   Kylyssaposted 8 years ago

   You may actually want to use separate text capsules and titles to make it more visually pleasing.

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      Ashley R Ladwigposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Ahhh ok!  Sorry- total newbie

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   Ashley R Ladwigposted 8 years ago

   Thank you so much!  Yes- an email would be great. Ashleymckenney07@gmail.com
   Thank you so much for reading and being willing to help!

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