I'd like feedback on my Hub: Top 10 Tips On Weight Loss

1. 32

   Praveen154posted 8 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Top 10 Tips On Weight Loss (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

   replyreport
   1. 64

      Andy Lee Lawsonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      First paragraph, "I hope you are very much interested..." Try instead, "I hope you are very interested." "Much" doesn't fit there. "Very" would be a more appropriate adverb.

      replyreport
   2. 64

      Andy Lee Lawsonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      You also said, "Is a very mandatory." Mandatory isn't a noun. The correct would be, "Is mandatory."

      replyreport
      1. 32

         Praveen154posted 8 years agoin reply to this

         thanks... I will try to avoid those mistakes..

         replyreport
         1. 64

            Andy Lee Lawsonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            Any time. Welcome to hubpages. I can't wait to see your first featured hub.

            replyreport
   3. 97

      theraggededgeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, the main problems are:
      
      The hub is too short. You need at least 1000 words.
      
      You are covering a topic that trillions of other articles have already addressed.
      
      You need authority on the subjects of weight loss and nutrition. What are your credentials? Think about how and why people searching for such information might click on your hub rather than one with greater authority.
      
      Grammar issues - already mentioned. Try Grammarly or other text checker.

      replyreport
      1. 32

         Praveen154posted 8 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you... I will rewrite in a better way...

         replyreport
   4. 65

      americaneslposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Praveen,
      
      I am happy to comment (per your request). I too, have blogs about diet and exercise so it's always interesting to see what someone else writes. First of all, I like your pictures and formatting. As far as your message, it's a little too general and lacks focus. Also, it's a good idea to back some of your information with research (sources) and links to more information and give reasons. Next, your article is pretty short, but so are a couple of mine. Finally, you'll have to excuse me for what I have to say next, as I do teach business American English to foreign executives in the U.S., and I'd like to say how much I admire people who live and work in another language. I lived in another country and had to learn the language to survive and did fine, but my foreign language was terrible and it was very difficult! In this regard, I do see that your language writing mechanics (sentence structure) do slightly alter meaning at times. Check your verb tenses, remember we don't pluralize adjectives, and use subject verb object structure, and adjectives come before nouns in English. English is very, very tough and I commend you for what you've done in that regard. I hope this helps. Best....

      replyreport
      1. 32

         Praveen154posted 8 years agoin reply to this

         it's okay..I impressed with your first text and approach.. can I make a relationship with you.. be friends.. please give your contact details..

         replyreport
      2. 32

         Praveen154posted 8 years agoin reply to this

         hello.. are you there. ? I would like to have a friendship with you.. hope yu like.. can you give your fb Id mam..?

         replyreport
         1. 65

            americaneslposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            Hi Praveen, thanks for the invitation. I'd rather stay in here for now. Have a Happy New Year!

            replyreport
   5. 65

      americaneslposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hi again Praveen, I first posted this comment on your page and then thought that you wanted it here, and when I went back I couldn't delete it. However, it initially said you would have to approve it first before it would post, so I hope you can delete it if you want. Sorry....

      replyreport
2. 64

   Andy Lee Lawsonposted 8 years ago

   The grammar is likely the primary problem. Also, the hub is too short. Elaborate on each tip. For example, if getting enough nutrition is mandatory, how do I do it? What would I eat? Flesh out caloric intake based on body weight, micro and macro nutrients and the most effective sources of those nutrients. Also, include pictures with your subheading. Each tip can be a subheading with several paragraphs of detail. Then, include a quiz at the end with about three questions based on information in the article. Add some graphs, charts or other visual representations of data. Finally, remove any reference to your own credibility. Let your research be your credibility.

   replyreport
   1. 32

      Praveen154posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      thank you very much.. if you can point the grammatical errors, I can avoid it next time...  because I could not find it.. at least highlight two to three errors.. thank you

      replyreport
   2. 65

      americaneslposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Great ideas, Andy. These should be a big help to Praveen.

      replyreport
3. 51

   erorantesposted 8 years ago

   I like your hub. It has the most important information about loosing weight. You need an extra picture. You can give examples of what kind of food; we can eat to loose weight. Check your punctuation and spell correctly. You are going in the right direction. Congratulations to your work. You will be a success.

   replyreport
   1. 32

      Praveen154posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      thank you very much.. I will try my best in future..

      replyreport
4. 81

   Mark Ewbieposted 8 years ago

   I created a little weight loss picture for the hell of it.
   

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Christy Kirwanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Stumbled across this and actually laughed out loud.

      replyreport