I'd like feedback on my Hub: Amyloidosis & My Fathers Life.

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   Terrielynn1posted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Amyloidosis & My Fathers Life.. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Terrielynn,
      
      Sorry to hear about your dad's experience.
      
      Your hub has a few issues.
      
      Possessive nouns: it should be 'My Father's Experience' and 'my family's'. You need those apostrophes in the right places. 'Families' means more than one family.
      
      I think if you read the text aloud, you might spot quite a few grammatical errors. For example 'doctor' should be written in full unless used in a title, as in Dr Someone.
      
      I would make that tongue image smaller. It's not very good quality. I'd also use a relevant image near to the top of the page.
      
      The definition you give at the top seems like it ought to be a direct quote from the Mayo clinic, but you have written it in your own words, therefore it isn't the Mayo Clinic's definition, if you see what I mean? So either don't reference the clinic, or use their quote and do reference it. One or the other.
      
      Be very careful about using lots of material from the Mayo Clinic website. You have changed a word here and there but much of it is copied. You can't include more than 10% quoted work and you must reference when you do. Any more than that is considered to be plagiarism. I'm copying random chunks of your text into Google and it is bringing up the exact same excerpts from the Mayo Clinic. You might want to reduce the amount of medical information and focus on your father's story. You can point people to the medical issues by using a link.
      
      Pertinent to the last point, although you add a disclaimer about not having medical qualification, this kind of information should *only* be offered by a suitably qualified person. This also means that your hub is competing with more authoritative sites for the same keywords. So, again, I think it would be better for you to focus on the more personal aspects of the disease and the implications for your family - that would be more useful for your readers.
      
      Hope that helps.

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         Terrielynn1posted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for the help. I was always taught that to you father's is short for father is. That's why I didn't use it. But I fixed other issues, now it's published but not featured. I look at your other suggestions. I guess my problem is some medical information is important. But I will shorten it.  Thank you again.

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            theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            'My father's illness' is the correct usage (possessive). So is 'Mother's cooking tonight' (contraction). Context usually clarifies which it is.
            
            http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/parts … Nouns.html
            http://www.englishpractice.com/writing/1046/
            
            Glad you got it published and hope it gets featured soon.

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               Terrielynn1posted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Yes, thank you. For your time. I worked on it now and will do some more.

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