I would like some feedback on my hub

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   Seezaposted 7 years ago

   I would like some feedback on my hub Meditation, Self-Discovery, and Our Mind.  I am trying to get it posted on Owlcation.  Thank you in advance.

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      Jason mackenzieposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, very informative hub. How about breaking down the monotony of the wall of content? For example, your sentence 'Consider driving for example, if the route is familiar...' can be highlighted in a call-out box and the content after that can constitute the next paragraph. Likewise under the topic Self discovery through Meditation, you can organize a part of content into short bullet points and highlight them using a blue box positioned on the right side. And some more images would definitely enliven the beautiful words. Thanks, regards...

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         Seezaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks

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   Rupert Taylorposted 7 years ago

   Your opening sentence has a couple of problems:
   
   "Our minds change mods [moods?] of consciousness through-out [throughout - one word, no hyphen]  the day, and most of the time we are not even aware that it is happening."
   
   Large blocks of text are a turn off and need to be divided into smaller paragraphs.
   
   I'm not sure you are offering anything new in a field that is crowded on the Internet. HP looks for unique information or a new twist on a subject.

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      Seezaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I meant "modes" thanks for pointing it out.  Through-out was for over emphasis, and I think I will leave it as is.   I might take your advise on splitting the paragraphs.  The hub has already been published on HP, and I am trying to get it published on Owlcation. Thanks for your comment.

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         theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Hi there,
         
         Hyphenating is not emphasising and it just looks like a grammatical error. If you must emphasise it, then make it bold, but don't over do it.
         
         The article needs a proper introduction to explain what you are writing about and why it needed writing. I also think you could sharpen up the writing a bit. This topic is reflected in millions of other articles all saying the same thing. What could you add to it to make it unique? At the moment you aren't really saying anything that hasn't already been said many times before.
         
         You definitely should break up the large chunks of text. The whole article consists of just three fat paragraphs. One idea or point = one paragraph. Just like this message.
         
         Remember that most people access the web on mobile devices so there needs to be plenty of 'air' in the text to draw the eye down the page. Massive walls of text are a big turn off, so break it up into smaller paragraphs and use bullet points to add interest and 'texture'.
         
         Add another relevant legal-to-use image and make it full size.
         
         Without making some changes, it won't get to Owlcation or Exemplore, which is probably where it should go.
         
         Hope that helps.

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            Seezaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you for all your advice, and tips.  I will start implementing some revisions shortly.

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   Jason mackenzieposted 7 years ago

   Glad to be of help. Do check out my hubs and leave your comments when you have time. Thanks, regards...

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   thefloorplanetposted 7 years ago

   Great! Keep it up

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