I'd like feedback on my Hub: FITNESS INSPIRED:Weight loss for beginners,Exercise

1. 70

   krithi13posted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub FITNESS INSPIRED:Weight loss for beginners,Exercise VS Yourself. (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 95

      greenmindposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi,
      You have lots of energy and it took time to write this, but I'm afraid there are so many mistakes that it will never pass QAP without a complete overhaul.
      
      1. DON'T WRITE ALL IN CAPITALS.
      2. Are you prepared to respond if someone hurts themselves following your advice?
      3. word, comma, space.
      4. Good articles on health and fitness begin with research and reading
      5. What can you offer people that other writers can't?
      
      Good luck!

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2. 86

   Stephen Sinclairposted 6 years ago

   Hi Krithi:
   
   You sure have packed lots of information into your hub, which is great. It seems that English might not be your first language. I don't know any other languages, so you're way ahead of me. The way you have the hub laid out and broken into sections is great!
   
   Your opening summary reads:
   
   "NOW YOU MIGHT BE THINKING HOW TO SHED THOSE EXTRANEOUS CALORIES. THAT'S NOT A VERY BIG DEAL UNTIL AND UNLESS YOU ARE DETERMINED OF LOOSING YOUR POUNDS.BELIEVE IN YOURSELF , YOU CAN DO IT!!!!"
   
   You want to remove the all caps, the quadruple exclamation points, and the italics. You misspell "losing" as "loosing." There are issues with spacing before and after punctuation, as well. For example, "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF , YOU CAN DO IT!!!!" should probably read "Believe in yourself, you can do it!" or even "Believe in yourself. You can do it!"
   
   Through the rest of the article your use of italics, all caps, and bold is inconsistent. Generally, you should only use all caps or bold sparingly, if at all, and only use italics for the titles of movies, books, television shows, musical albums, and publications.
   
   This passage needs a comma instead of a semicolon, and also has issues with spacing:
   
   "Let me be frank to you! There are no such medicines or surgeries ;which do not have side effects . They are unsafe. However, there are no magic wands to swoosh off that extra calories in one session. Be patient, and stick on to your goals."
   
   Also, you use "However," which implies that the next point will contradict the one previous, but then pretty much make the same point again.
   
   There are issues with grammar, syntax, and spelling through the article, too, which Word or Grammarly might help you with. Keep at it! You have the ability to produce large amounts of copy, which not everyone has. Keep reading and writing at least 2,000 words per day, reviewing the rules of English, and it will become second nature.
   
   I also notice that you haven't given credit for the photos. If they're not yours, you need to make sure you have permission to use them and give proper attribution. Flickr, Wikimedia Commons, and PixaBay are great places to look for photos with permissions to share.
   
   For example, this photo of Donald Trump by Gage Skidmore with Flickr is licensed with the Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic from Creative Commons. If you click on the "Some rights reserved" link under the photo you can see under what license a photo is available, if at all. For this photo you would want to provide the link and attribute it: "Gage Skidmore, Flickr CC BY-SA 2.0."
   
   https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidm … w2x-d5X6uS
   
   Hope that helps!

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3. 75

   SSS1942posted 6 years ago

   Hello  krithi,
   
   Its a good hub. But need some changes like
   
   1. You wrote "specific and scientific way.A beginner.....". Here, a space is needed before the new line "specific and scientific way. A beginner....."
   
   2. Write the point as " I can and I will" instead of all caps lock and changes the other also.
   
   3. In this point, you have written 4 bullet items whereas before writing the 2nd bullet point .."Any physiological changes....." you wrote ..."opting a weight loss schedule.It includes". If you write "It includes", it means the rest three bullets are included under the first bullet. So, you must have to differentiate.
   
   4. It would be "Believe me, it's not going to work."
   
   5. Write " Frankly speaking, there are so much...." instead of "Let me be frank to you!
   
   6. Corrections are need in full stop and semicolon in line "... medicines or surgeries ;which do not have side effects ." It should be "... medicines or surgeries; which do not have side effects."
   
   7. Write Keep patience instead of "Be patient".
   
   8. In the bullet points under Beginner's weight loss program, I observed same problem as I mentioned in No. 3 comment. The line "Here's what beginners need to set up for" shouldn't be in bullet point.
   
   9. In the whole article there are problems in . ; and ,  . Remove the unnecessary space that you have given after completing the line. We use these signs just after completing the line.
   
   Thank you.

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