My daughter made this one up! Groan! (And can you believe, she has a teenage daughter herself!)
Why did the woman use hand sanitizer before driving?
Ready?.....
She wanted to have a clean driving record!
Let's hear it: altogether, now, G-R-O-A-N-N-N-N ! ! ! !
@Dzy, Sssssss, Ba Boom! Sound of cymbal and snare drum. Not bad. But seriously, folks. I am so tired. I flew here tonight. Man, are my arms tired.
How could you have a teen age daughter? You're barely out of high school yourself!
Good joke!
My sister had a baby this morning. Haven't found out yet whether boy or girl, so still don't know if I'm an aunt or an uncle.
@Dzy,
A grizzly bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, May I help you?
Bear says, got any Human Skin Rugs for my cave?
(a change-up to honor the World Series--Go, Astros!)
What's the difference between avian flu and swine flu?
With avian flue, you need tweetment
With swine flue, you need oinkment
If you have flue, you need a chimney sweep
Why can't a cat tell a dog a knock-knock joke?
Because when the cat says, "Knock knock!"
The dog goes, "Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark. Woofwoofwoofwooofwoofbarkbark!"
Why can't we see the moon during a solar eclipse?
OH MY GOD!!! IT'S TOO BRIGHT!! MY EYES!! I'M BLIND!!!!
What do you call the happiest girl in the world?
Gladys
Yuck, Yuck, Yuck
k@ri, I think that HP should give you some type of award for posting a joke like this that is so funny . . .
For those who haven't come across this,
>>>>>
Mother: What does IDK means?
Daughter: I Don't Know
Mother: OK, I'll ask your brother.
<<<<<<
Saltines, if you please Now let me do some Hip Hop slang:
Saltines if you Pleez!!!! Yo!
Hip hop? then I must correct you to, "Salteenz"
@Dzy, LOL! Good one! Errr, I mean, Word!
Send my thanks to your daughter, this thread brightened my day
Did you know that England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool?
Really enjoyed this thread, too. I miss our old joke telling sessions in person now that everything's on social media.
LOL! MizBejabbers.
Did you also hear about a startling Physical Body fact: There is NO crime inside the Human Body because it has Lots of Cells.
**facepalm** LOL
Okay; here's another one for you. I made this one up, so my younger daughter has learned from the best--errrr--corniest!
Q. What do waitresses and dentists have in common?
A. They both ask you questions when your mouth is full!
Lol, your daughters joke made me laugh. I like the dentist joke too!
A fellow goes into a coffee shop, orders breakfast and coffee.
Apparently, the shop has been having trouble with customers swiping the sugar packets, so when the guy asks for sugar, the waitress reaches inside her blouse, and hands him a couple of packets.
She then asks him "Cream?"
He says, "You wouldn't dare!!"
Worthy of email sends and Facebook posts.
How do you defend yourself from a Vegan Werewolf?
Hold up a Ribye!
by MomsTreasureChest 11 years ago
What's Your Favorite Knock Knock Joke?I'll start with a Halloween one...Knock Knock ** Who's There? ** Boo ** Boo Who? ** Why ya cryin? It's only a joke! **
by kirstenblog 14 years ago
Why are brides always unlucky?.......Because they never marry the Best Man!
by Charlu 6 months ago
Can you tell the difference between a real cowboy and a wanna be cowboy? If so tell me how.Is it when their boots cost more than their trucks or what's under them boots that counts? Could it be in the way they walk from all the horse riding or the way they shape their hat? What do you think?
by Ronald Stephanie WISEMAN 7 years ago
How do you know the difference between the False Christ and the Real Christ?As Christians we believe a false Messiah will arrive before the Real Deal, but how can we tell the difference between the two. Satan will be copying Christ to a T... but what will Satan be missing that Christ is? What...
by Liz Elias 6 years ago
At the risk of incurring the wrath of fellow writers, I humbly submit my newest corny joke. No, it isn't a knock-knock joke. (Ducking rotten eggs and tomatoes.)Q. Why are practitioners of meditation electrical? (Now, no cheating; really try to think of the answer before you scroll...
by LonghornComedy 12 years ago
What is the difference between a Comedian and a Joke Teller?There are a lot of so called "Comedians" that are actually Joke Tellers....so you know the difference between them?
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