CASHANOVA ' s Downfall

1. 95

   Sue Adamsposted 14 years ago

   About 5 weeks ago I wrote the hub http://hubpages.com/hub/cashanova but I never got  any reactions. Today, I went back to the hub and realised why. I just hadn't made my point clear enough. Now I have re-written the hub and was wondering if some of you would read it and tell me what you think.
   Thank you in advance,
   Sue

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2. 61

   zadrobiposted 14 years ago

   I'm just not sure what the point of it is..
   
   People on Wallstreet and the like are useless?
   
   I was expecting allegory or some structured metaphor but it was really just a guy in a current day village that wasn't able to help people out because of the economic crisis.
   What was I supposed to surmise or ascertain from it?

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   1. 95

      Sue Adamsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I was trying to say that if money is used to buy and sell money it defeats its own purpose.  I obviously failed to make that point. Or is it an unacceptable idea? The idea that it is not right to buy and sell money?
      Oh, and the "village" is of course meant to be our global village. anyway... see what other responses I get. Thank you zadrobi for your feedback.

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3. 84

   Marisa Wrightposted 14 years ago

   Sue, I don't think the first explanatory paragraph is necessary.  Better to let people start reading the story and draw their own conclusions, then have a "and the moral of the story is...." section at the end, or in a highlighted text box to the right. 
   
   I also feel you need to work on the story a bit more, to make it sound more realistic.  I got the point early on - it's simply a highly exaggerated version of our own society, but it's a bit "sledgehammer to crack a nut", IMO.

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   1. 95

      Sue Adamsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the input Marisa. I'll work on it some more and follow your suggestions.

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   2. 95

      Sue Adamsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I left the 1st Paragraph in for those less ... than some and followed your advice about the "moral of the story is.." The hub has gained 10 points! Thank you so much Marisa.

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4. 72

   EYEAM4ANARCHYposted 14 years ago

   Sorry, but I tend to agree with Zarobi. The story is just kinda obvious and straight forward. There doesn't really seem to be any reason to turn it into a fairy tale. Plus the moral that you added doesn't really match the story. They didn't regulate his business practices, they just stopped trading with him.

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   1. 95

      Sue Adamsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      OK I get your point, thank you. I'll have another look.

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