Self defeating hubs

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   Rainbow Briteposted 14 years ago

   I have a request to make...I wrote a hub sometime ago about long distance relationships, using the relationship I was in at the time as proof that it works.  Because of the fact that I updated the hub as time went on with more current events, the hub now appears to kind of argue with itself, proving in the end that my initial assertion is completely unbalanced and way off base.  So, basically I'm asking what do I do with it?  Keep it or delete it?  If you really wanna read it, here's the link, but really you don't have to its just long and boring.  Its just the self destructive, self defeating nature of the hub that is bothering me.
   
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Falling-in-love … -never-met

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      ddsurfscaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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      advisor4qbposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If the negativity bothers you, delete the hub.  I have written some hubs where I was just venting, and when I looked back at them later, I went ahead and unpublished them until I could decide whether or not I wanted to keep them.  However, I remember that hub in particular, and if it is bringing you down, ditch it.  Focus on positive things!

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      rainbow, that's quite a story. I did read it and parts of it I could identify with you. after reading the whole story and seeing your frustration with whether to keep it up, I would just ask yourself 'how will this help me move on from this situation?' if it's something you want to move on from, do you want that constant reminder there on your hub page? those would be questions I would ask myself if I were in a similar situation.
      
      or as some have mentioned, you could rework it if you felt it was important to keep published. 
      
      I wish you the very best~~ I think we go through what we go though in life for reasons, and maybe not look at it as self-destructive but rather part of the journey, discovering more who you are. (I think many of us girls have met men who turned out to be not so nice!!) there are nice ones out there!

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   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   Relationships don't come with 100% guarantees, RB hugs. I think you should leave it as is since it's chronological and will provide the audience with the choice of the infinite possibilities and the risks least it's presented forthright and honest which is a important human quality Just too bad I can't rip his hair out for you

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      yoshi97posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I agree thoroughly with Dame ... there is no 100% surefire way to win in relationships as all are different, but you can learn from them as you go along.

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   archdawposted 14 years ago

   Read your hub and left you two comments to be exact.  Keep it, I like it!!!

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   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   hi, keep it, you may want to read it later and smile at it, and say wow, i did this before, and now I learned a lot from it...

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   Hope Wilbanksposted 14 years ago

   I read the hub in its entirety as well. I have two opinions. #1-If it makes you uncomfortable, delete it. BUT...if your discomfort lies in the fact that you thought you were in love in the beginning, but all that has changed with time then....#2-Leave it in tact for posterity sake. Or, at the very least, copy and paste it all into a document and save it on your hard drive before you delete it. I think in time, you will be able to go back through all this and learn something from it about yourself.
   
   Whatever you decide to do, best wishes!

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   wrenfrost56posted 14 years ago

   I agree if it leaves you feeling uncomfortable delete it. However if your indifferent about it keep it and write another hub to accompany it, voicing how and if your views have changed and why.

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   RedElfposted 14 years ago

   I'm with Dame Scribe. There are no guarantees, unfortunately. Perhaps in a while, you'll think differently about the feelings that caused you to write the hub, or you may still want to delete it. If it is a valid representation of how you felt, though, it might be helpful to keep it for a while and go back to it at some later point.
   
   I have many pieces that no longer represent what I now feel, but are still accurate and in some cases, moving records of what I felt at that time. If you get rid of your writings because your feelings change, that could become rather counterproductive, no? Good luck to you, and keep writing!

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   I haven't seen the Hub, but in general I'd do something like change the title and/or separate the different "points", add a few "but's", "in spite of that's", "on the other hand's", and "even having said that's". 

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   Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

   Maybe if you restructured it a bit. Experience often changes our views over time. You could start out by saying that you believed that long-distance relationships can work and here's why, but now you feel differently about it and here's why. Both are valid experiences, and in the context experience, your insights will probably be valuable to a lot of people.
   
   Maybe restructuring and focus will help you solve the problems with it that you see. Just an idea.

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    wsp2469posted 14 years ago

    It's simple.  Delete it if you want.  if you want to salvage it turn it into something worthwhile.  Write a summary and tell us all how things worked out and what you learned. 
    It doesn't have to end the way you want.  It only has to end WELL.  I mean, I don't care HOW you WANTED it to end; I care if the ending is GOOD or not.  I'm willing to bet other readers will agree.

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    Rainbow Briteposted 14 years ago

    It's not the emotional ties to the hub that bothered me about it, it is just the fact that I don't like the voice of it.  It seems terribly childish to me and as I said before, it argues with itself.  I thought it was the worst thing I had ever written, but you guys seem to resolutely disagree.  I might re-organize or re-phrase it in the future, but for now it will stay the way it is.  Thank you all so much for your support and opinions, both mean a lot to me!!!  ^hugz n kisses^
    
    P.S. I just googled his name again to see if my hub registered, and it's like magic, my hub is at the top of the list....my first number one hub!!!

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    Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

    I hope those aren't slobbery kisses lol

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    Marisa Wrightposted 14 years ago

    Rainbow, Hubs are not really designed to be updated on a timeline - your Hub reads more like a series of blog posts. 
    
    I would totally rewrite it from the perspective you have now, then it would hang together better.

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       wsp2469posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Exactly!  Rewrite it a bit including what you learned!

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    Rainbow Briteposted 14 years ago

    Most definately plan to do just that. 
    
    On a side note, I am doubly glad that I left this hub up, as it is helping other women that he is lying to, I have already recieved posts from one!

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    deartfuldodgerposted 14 years ago

    regardless of what hubs were conceived to be, updating one in any way you see fit or being creative with the implementation of a hub is your prerogative.
    
    not to mention the seo value of constantly updating content
    
    good to hear your experiences can be turned around to be of benefit to others

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