Can a womans emotions be settled by a just man listening to her?

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   deanjc1970posted 14 years ago

   Yes I believe it can. I have been married twice(currently successfully)and I also have 5 daughters from teenage to 3 and I can tell you the technique that works best for me is JUST listening and cudling. Everytime I cut i with solutions it foes pear shaped. Woman need a hearing ear and most of the time no more than that. Heck I reckon this is why these days girls love gay men, for their listening skills. Men take this advice and stop trying to fix everything, hear them out give them a cuddle and move on!!

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      china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Listening is good in any situation - but isn't this a sexist question that suggests men are superior to women ?

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         Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I don't believe it is. Just looking at a fundamental question from one aspect.

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            china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Maybe - it just smells of 'just man' solving 'her' emotional problems,   maybe I am still hyped up after the fighting threads last night (for me)

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               Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Maybe so.

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         rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I think listening helps a lot, real listening on both parts.
         no one likes to be judged or told what to do unless they ask.
         I have a male friend who I had to back off from because he so often judged what I said or gave me his opinion when I didn't ask.
         maybe that is sexist? he felt he was superior to me?
         
         china, I don't see this as a sexist question. I guess some could, but I don't think he meant it that way at all. listening can say much more than words.

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            deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            for some reason as a man I feel a need to fix peoples problems when I hear of them. I am now starting to realise mostly whats needed is a hearing ear

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         deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         no not really. I have asked it from a mans view

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   blondepoetposted 14 years ago

   So so true. Often a woman just desires for her man to listen to her without suggestions of fixing 'it'. It does wonders.

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      deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      seems it takes us men some time to work that out

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   Hokeyposted 14 years ago

   Sometimes that is all anyone needs is someone to pay attention and listen and not just wait to talk.

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      deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      pay attention is a good point. us men are easily distracted and when listening to women we find our selves thinking about sex, beer and sport LOL!!

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      blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      So very true Hokey

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         Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         It really is true. That is part of my practice. When someone else is talking I clear my mind of all thoughts so that I may be totally present to give them they attention they deserve.

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            deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I find this hard to do as I seem to multi task in my mind. However its much more polite to do so

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   Rafiniposted 14 years ago

   it takes active listening skills to communicate well, with anyone.  Of course, cuddling doesn't hurt. 

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   donotfearposted 14 years ago

   I think what I need mostly is, yes, for him to listen. But in addition, I need words of affirmation and touch. These are part of the 5 love languages. Without these, I don't feel loved.
   
   Now everyone has their own love language. To some, it's Quality time or Receiving gifts or Acts of service.
   
   But for emotions to truly settle, listening can aid in healing. According to each person's own 'love tank'.

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   caprackposted 14 years ago

   Yes Listening can help ease her emotions. In fact listening when she is upset and even gripping you out without fighting back can get her to finally calm down. I have found that when I am attentive and talk back to her calmly and slowly it brings her down to a calmer level.

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      deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have found the same
      thanks

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   donotfearposted 14 years ago

   I'd also like to add that unless one truly loves themselves, they may never feel settled.

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      Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly. You cannot love another unless you love yourself. Or else you are seeking validation of yourself through another. Then you are not loving to love. You are loving to be loved.

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      deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      so true.takes many years to work this one out. I am 39 and am still working on this one

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   sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

   This is so easy! Once it's determined that the only way out may be a trip to Dillards. Call her sister then give her the phone and tell her,"Your sister wants to talk to you!"

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      deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I am from Australia whats dillards

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         sneakorocksolidposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         An upscale department store. Using her sister to deflect the issue is a lot cheaper.

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   srwnsonposted 14 years ago

   LoL Or, you could choose the option I mentioned in the guy thread...knock back a couple Martoni's ask "what is the matter dear?" then hit the couch.Don't forget the "I understand Babe" every 20 minutes or so.

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    brianzenposted 14 years ago

    Hello

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    JeanMeriamposted 14 years ago

    Real listening is good for everyone, but I don't think just women need that. And smug suggestions are irritating.
    
    "oh my god, I have so much to do"
    
    "Well you really should be more organized."
    
    Yah!

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       deanjc1970posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       true! women pick up on everything, very intuitive creatures. As is said, treat others how you want to be treated!

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    sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

    This is a serious answer. Listen and don't try to fix it just be a friend.

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    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    I find it best to switch 'em on the legs real smart. That changes the emotion real quick like. Then we cuddle as I kiss her hurt away

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    Dog On A Missionposted 14 years ago

    No, that's a myth.
    
    Don't believe me?
    
    Try it some time. Be the super-attentive "good listener" and see where that gets you!

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