Selfishness

1. 72

   Georzettaposted 14 years ago

   Just how much are we supposed to do and sacrifice for someone who can't be bothered to care for themselves?
   
   I'm seeing more and more incidences of folks who will not take their medication but expect all the family to pitch in and take care of them when they end up ill or in the hospital.
   
   I'm not talking about people with emotional disabilities or cognitive issues that would affect the memory. I mean just plain stubbornness or denial.

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   1. 59

      qwarkposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm pretty much an "ayn Rand" "objectivist."
      Forget "selflessness."
      You are responsible to self for self.
      Be selfish and do only that which brings you joy.
      If helping others does...do it. If it doesn't screw it! Walk away!

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2. 77

   frogdroppingposted 14 years ago

   How much you sacrifice is up to the individual. Having been in the situation, I gave a lot. But there came a time when enough was enough. For some folks - they want and need the constant nagging, the attention it brings. Sometimes you've just got to walk away.

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   1. 0

      Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      I would say, even if you feel you need it, it would be best to get yourself whole, and not need the  nagging.
      
      there is a huge difference from someone who has a problem, but is actaully taking steps to get well, and a person who refuses to acknowledge it, and uses everyone around them to continue it.
      
      when your in a situation that you genuinely love the unwell person, it can be very hard to stop making excuses for the person. But if you think about the fact that your excuses are not helping, only continuing the sickness, you have your answer.

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   2. 72

      Georzettaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Which brings up another point -- how do we know where the line is between "nagging" to help someone and "nagging" that is interfering in someone's life and none of our business?

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      1. 77

         frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         Having someone's best interests at heart is one thing - and that's not nagging. However a nag is a nag. Usually stems from someone that likes to be in control. Care v control. Big difference.
         
         Of course many of us nag because we're just sick of not being listened to but the one doing the nagging would know the difference. Feeling undervalued is one thing - being a control freak is something different entirely.

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3. 59

   SoundAdviceposted 14 years ago

   Some people like to be center of attention! Yes it is as simple as that. They like to be pampered, taken care of and shown a lot of attention most part of the day and most part of their lives.
   
   Others are just lazy and careless. The extreme nature of carelessness would make them avoid medicine even if no one else would volunteer to give it to them.
   
   We have to be patient with both types (if we are caring). If not then many hospitals provide these services for additional charges, like home nurse care, home hospital care etc. Check out for rebates and concessions. Ofcourse we cannot totally neglect them and let them suffer. If they are heartless and heedless, many of us are certainly not!

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4. 61

   h.a.borcichposted 14 years ago

   I seem to see it more with older people, my Dad was that way. I think it was a combo of denial and his only way to control something/someone. He was unhappy with his failing health and the loss of the things he enjoyed enough to not care if he lived or died. Holly

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   1. 72

      Georzettaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I saw that in my dad as well. He would threaten to stop taking all his medication when he wanted some attention. Once we figured out that that was the reason for the pronouncement, we stopped responding emotionally and he stopped making the threats.
      
      The problem is that looking back now, I'm not so sure he wouldn't have been better off and lived longer if he had stopped taking a few of them. All this information coming out about side effects and interactions. We tried to be on top of all that but ...

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5. 61

   Stu Pidposted 14 years ago

   Maybe you should try to work out why they are being stubborn and go from there. It's about how you approach a person.

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6. 0

   getmybackposted 14 years ago

   The key is looking after yourself first I think, then if you can help without aggravation yes, but that is different for each individual.  Good luck to you though.

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7. 60

   samurai4everposted 14 years ago

   I am selfish, as long as it doesn't cause other people's harm. If it does, I weigh the pros and cons.
   
   For what reason am I selfish? Does it satisfy my inner self, or just because I hate others get what they want?

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