Dating or marrying a person of a different religion?

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   Originposted 13 years ago

   Would you or have you ever dated or married a person of a different religion? If you haven't, what is stopping you? If you have, any problems? Can you see yourself ever doing it?

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      Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      yes, I have many times in the past, but I can't see myself doing it again....
      
      my wife would KILL me

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         Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         LOL!

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      goldenpathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Though not active in my own faith at the time I married a non-practicing Catholic.  It didn't cause any problems until our children were teenagers.  There is an incredible danger and damage to children raised by their parents with differing views and systems of faith.  It will cause confusion.  In our household this has cause a little contention now and then and has caused difficulty in the focus and concentration of the kids.
      
      Over the pulpit I do preach the importance of marrying within your faith.  Children have the right to be raised in a home with set values and belief systems.  Contention in a home should not be as it is designated to be a refuge from the ills of the world.  I highly encourage marrying within your own faith.  It will be better all around in the long run.

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         IzzyMposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I agree. I learnt from bitter experience.

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         Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         "Over the pulpit I do preach the importance of marrying within your faith.  Children have the right to be raised in a home with set values and belief systems.  Contention in a home should not be as it is designated to be a refuge from the ills of the world.  I highly encourage marrying within your own faith.  It will be better all around in the long run."
         
         You're making a mistake.

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            goldenpathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I respect your opinion.
            
            Having seen firsthand the youth of many families in such circumstances my precept stands firm that it is best for the mother and father to have similar long term goals especially when it comes to matters of faith.  Without this, parents are nurturing the faith of their children upon sandy foundations.  When times get really tough, and they will get exponentially tougher in the future, they will be left at the mercy of blowing winds with nothing to hold on to.  I've seen it many times while counseling young people and, unfortuneately, I'll see many more.

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               Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               "I respect your opinion."
               
               Unfortunately, on this topic, I don't respect yours.

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                  goldenpathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Fair enough.

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      spiderlilyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      The love of my life is Hindu and it doesn't matter to me, I just know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

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         nikipaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Agree... Sometimes religion really doesnt matter too much.

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      emievilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely yes. My husband and I have different religions and I dated several guys in the past who also have different religions.
      
      *edit* and I don't see any problem in that. As for our children, well we don't have any yet, we'll just cross the bridge when we get there.

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2. 61

   Originposted 13 years ago

   I guess I could answer it myself, huh?
   
   I don't see a problem with it, but that's because I'm not really religious myself so I don't think it would cause any issues, at least from my perspective.

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   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   It's funny, my wife and I were having this conversation yesterday.  I had a dream she came home wearing a headscarf and had converted to Islam.
   
   She asked, when I told her, "What would you do?"
   
   I told her it would totally depend on how far she got into it.  If she was just going to the meetings or whatever sometimes, that would be one thing, but if she turned into a different person, tried to change the way we live, make new god based rules and stuff, then, yeah, it would start to become a problem.
   
   I suspect that as more of the superstitious stuff invaded my home, the ability to be supportive of her interests would probably start to transform into annoyance and resentment.  But, all that totally depends on the level of devotion.  There could, in hypothetical sliding scales, come a point where a new faith could become akin to finding "someone else."  (I've seen this happen and worse with a friend of mine who married a woman who became insanely Mormon and doomed their marriage as she became increasingly judgmental year after year, first judging his friends, then judging him for his impiousness... to the point she ended up having an actual affair with a good, pious mormon man and left my friend.  LOL).

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   VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 13 years ago

   No harm in marrying a person of a different religion, if the religion is a soft one, like christianity, budhism, Hinduism, etc.

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   iantoPFposted 13 years ago

   Hi Origin; Interesting question.
   My wife and I are from very different backgrounds. She is a Native American (Western Apache)I'm Welsh. She was raised Catholic I'm as Pagan as the stars, raised in the spiritual path of the Druid. We met when she was on vacation in the UK and she caught my bus. I'm still a bus driver here in America. I was in my early 40's, she was in her mid 30's. I mention that so you can see we were both pretty set in our ways.
   But you can't choose who you fall in love with and we do not choose the person to whom our desires are directed.
   So I came to America, got married and we have two healthy boys. In the early days I went to mass with her and found that standing beside someone you love and singing praises to her God was magic in itself. I had many conversations with the local priests and found them to be good men. In spite of the negative things going around, these men I would trust implicitly with my children.
   Over time my wife moved to my Heathen ways. One day she suddenly realised she had been worshipping a dead man. I do not proselyte, the Gods call to you or they do not, it is not up to me to choose for them. Now she follows the Wiccan path and honors the Goddess. We celebrate the seasons as a family, our boys with us.
   My own philosophy, based on personal experience is; follow your heart, it will never fail you.

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      VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      We should and must choose who should we love, The person chosen should attract our desires.  That is the only way to lead a peaceful life.  But I must congratulate you that your choice have proved good for you....  A rare one.

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   DevLinposted 13 years ago

   Dated a Jew when I was christian, then two Wiccans when kinda christian, then a white witch when a humanist. Our parting had nothing to do with religion. It wasn't really ever talked about. But I need someone sane. I'd rule out women all together with that. Not about to switch teams though. One of them did.

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   Pandoras Boxposted 13 years ago

   Couldn't fully respect someone who seriously held foolish beliefs.

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      Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      And YOU decide which ones are "foolish"?

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         Pandoras Boxposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         No I let an imaginary sky fairy figure it all out for me. Better yet, I just rely on the ancient writings of long dead men. I put it up for a congressional vote.
         
         Dang, TK, you argue over everything. Hell yeah I get to decide. My life, my commitment, my standards, or my future life-long regret and compromise.
         
         See, I'm an atheist. As such I have a very high moral standard and sense of personal integrity. Therefore, unlike many religionists, I take marriage very seriously.
         
         TK, just explain to me this. Who the hell else would decide who I ought to marry? You maybe oughtta slow down a bit there on the knee-jerk, interminably critical, canned responses. Sometimes they truly make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

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            Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            "No I let an imaginary sky fairy figure it all out for me. Better yet, I just rely on the ancient writings of long dead men."
            
            Being a bigot will certainly limit mating options. Maybe it's just as well...

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               Pandoras Boxposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               There's nothing bigoted about it. Just your imagination determined to find fault.

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                  Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Of course there is. It's the very definition of bigotry. If you are not comfortable with that then you need to take a look at your own attitude, not mine.

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                     Pandoras Boxposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     So is it also bigoted if I decline to marry a white supremist? Just cuz I wouldn't marry a committed christian doesn't mean I am intolerant or hateful. It means I find their beliefs incompatible with mine, and would not be stupid enough to overlook a relevant fact such as that which would undoubtedly have a large impact on the nature of my life.
                     
                     But whatever. Say as you like. I've been around here long enough to see that many people just love to fight over everything. Then they accuse atheists of being ill-mannered, brutish and intolerant.
                     
                     

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                        Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        "So is it also bigoted if I decline to marry a white supremist?"
                        
                        If you are bigoted against white supremecists I would applaud the judgement.
                        
                        " Just cuz I wouldn't marry a committed christian doesn't mean I am intolerant or hateful."
                        
                        It absolutely does mean you are intolerant, and the reasons you yourself supplied certainly suggest you are hateful.
                        
                        
                        " Then they accuse atheists of being ill-mannered, brutish and intolerant."
                        
                        Some are. Wouldn't you agree?

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                           Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                           Wow, way to grab the English language and crush the meaning out of words, mangling them as you force simple definitions on them to make semantic arguments from the bones.

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                              Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              Translation: You can't find anything to disagree with, but you want to anyway...

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                                 JulesGeromeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                 
                                 some people are stubborn

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                                 Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                 No, my point was clear, that you are bastardizing the English language in order to try to force Pandora's Box into statements she did not make by misrepresenting the meaning of words.
                                 
                                 She said: "So is it also bigoted if I decline to marry a white supremist?"
                                 
                                 You said: "If you are bigoted against white supremecists I would applaud the judgement."
                                 
                                 Through a specious little maneuver you inserted "bigoted" into her statement by implication, as if rephrasing her lines, twisting the definition of bigoted from "radically, fanatically intolerant" into something that on the surface seems to stand in for the phrase "opposed to" or "disagree strongly with."  Then you ran with it for the rest.
                                 
                                 A standard fallacious argument.  I'll call it sophistry so as not to set you into fits using the modern equivalents.

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                                    Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                    I'm sorry if you couldn't comprehend my statement. Try this instead: YES, it would also be bigoted but I would in that instance support your bigotry while in most others I do not.
                                    
                                    That clear enough for ya?

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                                       Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                       Yes.  It is clear that you do not know what bigotry is and explains why you so completely missed her point.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       Aristotle is hardly a "modern equivalent" of sophistry

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                                       Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                       I understand quite well what it means. It seems that you, and some others, just like the fact that it applies to more than just the topics you feel comfortable with.

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                                          Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                          I understand that in the pursuit of starting and maintaining arguments with people, meaning of words can be ignored or manipulated.

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                                       Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                       It appears that you do.

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                                    Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                    " I'll call it sophistry so as not to set you into fits using the modern equivalents."
                                    
                                    Ooh, are you going to mention Aristotle again?

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   Rudraposted 13 years ago

   As long as the other does not try to convert you.

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   IzzyMposted 13 years ago

   I was brought up Protestant but my husband was Catholic (lapsed). We were fine until the children came along and he insisted they all be brought up Catholic which was a problem for me because I didn't understand the significance of the special masses like Communion etc, and felt I had to leave those teachings to him. As a result he became closer to my children than I was.
   Anyway that marriage ended eventually and I'm now going out with a Jew, and I ask myself why can't I find a normal person with my background and education instead of these people from other religions. My problem, I guess. I'm not even religious, but unless both partners are agnostic, I think it's a no-no.

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      Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      So, people aren't "normal" if they follow a religious tradition different from yours?

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         IzzyMposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Oh I didn't mean it that way...I meant what is normal for you, or for one person. Mixing religions leads to problems somewhere doen the line, that's all. In my case it was children.

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            Sab Ohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Maybe it's the individuals involved who cause problems and religion is a convenient excuse.
            
            No two people are the same in every way.

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    Uninvited Writerposted 13 years ago

    My parents were of different religions and I think my sisters and I turned out okay. Of course, neither of my parents were overly religious to start with; they sent us to church and Sunday school (Anglican) but rarely came with us. Although, in her early youth my mother had considered becoming a nun...
    
    When she was not allowed to marry in the church while her sister, who also married a non-Catholic, was allowed to marry in the church because his family were influential, my mother sort of turned away from the church.

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    Daddy Paulposted 13 years ago

    My parents were of differing religions. The firestorm was awful.  I would never get serious with a woman who was not a devout Roman Catholic.

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    spe4842posted 13 years ago

    I feel that it is very important to marry someone of the same religion as yourself. I feel that this has a very big impact on a marriage. Let's face it, if you and your husband have two different religions, how can you possibly raise your children to believe anything. I think kids get confused this way. A house divided against itself cannot stand, this goes for religion, finances, rearing of children, and many other things. It just makes a home more stable. My husband and I are both religious and have raised our four children to be the same.

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    tony0724posted 13 years ago

    I would do so without hesitation. I already was involved in a long term relationship with a Chinese national and she was an absolute sweetheart. I believe in God and JC but consider myself to be more of a spiritual being then a religious one. I love women in General so I do not see ethnicity or religion

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    pooja0908posted 13 years ago

    According to me marrying or dating with other religion person is not bad if your way of thinking is same and there is a tremendous understanding between you. Ya I know it is not easy for a social person to marry with other religion person but it is all about your whole life. I think you should do what you think not what other think.

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    megs78posted 13 years ago

    I married a catholic although i was raised baptist.  the problem we had was logistics.  i couldnt marry in his church without getting a certificate stating that i had followed the teachings of the catholic church, etc.  so we had to go through a course before our weddding and then i was allowed to marry in his church.  now, we certainly have differing views, but the main point is generally the same so compatibility is not really an issue and we don't squabble over it.

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    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    It was a "big, horrible, thing" when my parents (a Protestant and a Catholic) got married in the late 1940's.  I didn't really think that kind of thing is still an issue - although as I think about it, there a some religion I'd rule out as far as a potential partner goes (anything I'd consider too extreme to be "mainstream").

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