Funny H1N1 rant
97- Uninvited Writer
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I love Rick Mercer:
His rant on swine flu is hilarious
http://www.rickmercer.com/blog/index.cfm/2009/10/20
I cannot begin to tell you how confused I am about the swine flu. Every single day there are different reports and conflicting advice. All I know is, at this point I swear to God I'm 80 percent hand sanitizer. I walk past one of those Purell pumps and I ride that lever like a senior citizen at Casino Rama; I go to a bar and order Purell and Coke. Does it help? I have no idea. All I know is that the minute you're all cleaned up and disinfected, you get on the elevator and some dude comes along and coughs on your neck. That can't be good.
So if you're like me, you probably have some questions. You might have been tempted to go onto the Health Canada website to see what they're saying about the swine flu. This is my advice – don't go onto that website. Unless of course, you're doing research on how to bore, panic, and confuse people all at the same time.
The first thing you have to know about the federal government's swine flu website is they spelled "coughs" wrong. Six million dollars they spent -- they don't have spell check. They also say that everyone, without exception, should get the swine flu vaccine. Then they say, "Don't worry, we currently have a million vaccines stockpiled." That's great, except for the fact there are 35 million Canadians. So unless we're looking for the miracle of the loaves and fishes here, this means I have to strangle 35 people on the way to my clinic.
Although, who am I kidding? I live in a riding represented by the NDP – I won't see any vaccine. Meanwhile if you live in Jim Flaherty's riding you'll get three vaccines and a giant novelty cheque for five grand.
Now some people may say that I'm being a cynic. I'm not. I'm just being practical. So while the federal government is busy spreading confusion, it's our job to spread nothing. So all we can do is wash our hands, cough into our sleeves and for God's sakes, stay off the Internet.
100- cosette
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haha...it's funny because it's true
Jajaja that was hilarious and 100% correct.
95- Flightkeeper
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Too good about the not having spell check
Its true and Funny :-)
85- A Texan
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What the hell is a riding?
93- Daniel Carter
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This is a keeper. I'm sending the link along to all my Canook friends.
Thanks for the laughs, UW.
94- Jane@CM
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Too funny!
70- hudsonj1994
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Hahahaha halarious
- 97
- Uninvited Writer
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A Texan wrote:
What the hell is a riding?
That would be a district I guess in US politics
- 85
- A Texan
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Uninvited Writer wrote:
A Texan wrote:
What the hell is a riding?
That would be a district I guess in US politics
Thank you, couldn't figure that one out.
