Men - I need your help! What catches your eye on a dating profile?
51- Star Witness
- 273 posts
- Joined: 7 months ago
- Hubs: 0
- Followers: 10
Maximus591 wrote:
Star Witness wrote:
Maximus591 wrote:
Ok, on the surface, this is good advice. It's hard to fault. But one question, have you ever joined a dating website? No need to be shy now, nobody will think you a loser and start sniggering.
For instance, when Match.com shows your 'potential matches' they can be displayed in a 'tiled' format (approximately 10 pictures with part of that users profile visible) or 'gallery' format (cattle market style thumbnail pictures with absolutely no information visible). The gallery format allows 16 thumbnailed pictures on screen at any one time. With just one click, the page will reload with 16 new pictures. Now, many will say (they are lying of course) they spend a lot of time carefully reading each profile, studying their likes/dislikes, trying to assess if the person whose profile they are reading would be compatible with them. Then finding someone they like, they send them a polite and carefully worded email, as a way of introduction. That's what good online dating should be about, right? Sadly, the reality is much different.
The reality is that many never read peoples profiles, they just look at the thumbnail pictures in gallery format and click the 'wink' button that is next to the picture. I trust you're familiar with 'winking'? They do this repeatedly, only occasionally stopping to read a profile behind someones picture. But reading a profile becomes too time consuming. The 'click & wink' approach is but a two stage process. Accessing a profile then wording an email then sending it takes an eternity in comparison
But hey, isn't it disrespectful to just 'cllick and wink' at all the pretty pictures without even bothering to read their profiles? Absoloutely it is. But, the reason many adopt this strategy... well, the reason many guys do (females click and wink too, but not to the same degree) is that many of the carefully worded and thoughtful emails guys send out never reach their intended recipient or even they do, the recipient cannot respond. Why? Well, becuase they are a non active member. Non active means they don't pay subs. Of Match.coms 15 million members, a whopping 13.65 million are non-active, non-paying members. At any one time 91% of all match users cannot respond to an email, or even a wink. Its scandalous.
A class action lawsuit has been filed against Match.com for it's fraudulent business practice. It will be interesting to see the outcome.Em, it must have been 2 am in Britain, when you wrote this, Maxi.
Don't you have a job?? Or do you just post on the forum fer a job?
And this is what I'm saying, I could help with your obviously pathetic technique. IE, I only ever joined Match.com on a trial membership. The last two relationships I have had came about initially online, and interestingly, through Match on the first 30 days of membership. I only ever contacted 2 people for these 2 relationships, too. One relationship lasted 3 years, the other, 6.
All in the technique. lol Evidently, you just have NO clue about these things.
And I recommend the ladies forget posting a detailed profile all together. Otherwise, you are subject to guys like Maxi and the slam, bam, thank ya ma'am winking techniques he and others partake in. Better for a lady to choose the guy she wants and write a sincere e-mail. (How else is it done in real life, you may ask yourself. One at a time. You certainly don't go after 20 women/men in real life in a night, unless you are trolling around for just anything, or are 18 at your first college beer party.)Oh, you're ignorance knows no bounds.
Hello! You're female (allegedly). A females experience of online dating is fundamentally different from a males.
You will not understand this unless you grow facial hair and sprout a penis.
Really I mean. The personal view of any female when she starts talking about online dating experiences needs to be discounted immediately. The gender experiences are not the same. They never have been. This fact is lost on clueless females. I suggest they get back to their knitting.No, cookie. I'm an extremely attractive gay man with long hair. Sometimes I wear platform shoes, too.
BTW, 'your' in your sentence stating, "You're ignorance knows no bounds," is spelled correctly in the former. They spell it the same way on that side of the pond, right?
And I believe the dating experience MAY be similar for all sincere, attractive people who have made a good assessment of themselves. Although you may be missing part of the equation, don't know, and just sayin.'
92- wavegirl22
- 434 posts
- Joined: 4 months ago
- Hubs: 19
- Followers: 134
prettydarkhorse wrote:
wavegirl22 wrote:
dohn121 wrote:
You know, I could really use a girl (not "use her" BTW) that's into the Yankees and Giants (NOT San Francisco,
). A girl that's into sports says a lot about her character, not to mention downright sexy 
hmmm funny dohn but it sounds like you are describing me
Its Yankee Ball tonight ! I know what we both will be doing tonight!hi there wavegirl, maybe dohn is describing us both,,,,
hmmmm how do we find out pretty?
Cheeky Chick wrote:
I've been asked to write an online dating profile for a 33 year old fun, fit, adventurous, outdoorsy, girly girl (with big boobs, I might add). She has a great sense of humor, and loves lizards, snakes, and bugs...anything that crawls or slithers. Which is ironic since she really is a girly girl. The picture I saw of her shows her in a mini dress, holding an overweight iguana. That's all I know about her at the moment.
My question is...what do men really want to know about a woman? What information should I include in her profile that will entice a great guy to ask her out?
Thanks for your help guys!
cleavage
82- Michellcat
- 1 posts
- Joined: 13 months ago
- Hubs: 3
- Followers: 22
Flightkeeper wrote:
It seems that the perfect woman for you guys is Sarah Palin.
LOL!
I know you asked guys, but I can't help making a suggestion. Instead of worrying about what guys want to read about a girl, just put what she's really like out there. What do you like about her? What does she like in a guy? What does she hate?
There's not a lot of point in her trying to attract iguana-haters, y'know? Guys are going to be interested mostly based on the picture, and based on what she has in common with them. The profile that would attract the most guys, won't necessarily attract the right guys.
The guys here have made it kind of obvious that they're mainly going to go by the picture. The first question asked was, "how do we find out pretty?" The picture. It's worth a thousand words.
(And I wonder seriously, if it were a flat-chested girl in bluejeans, if they'd assume she's stupid just because she doesn't like to write, and is holding an iguana. I'd assume she was a herpetologist.)
96- Bard of Ely
- 731 posts
- Joined: 2 years ago
- Hubs: 264
- Followers: 838
As a man that loves lizards, snakes and bugs, that would be the bit that attracted my attention!
85- Black Lilly
- 680 posts
- Joined: 2 months ago
- Hubs: 11
- Followers: 52
Whatever you write, keep it short and leave an open, rather provocative question in the end, like "would you be afraid to hold my pet" or "you are not scared of mice, are you".
Questions are there to be answered, right? And men like to do it. Later it's only up to you (your friend) how to respond to his answer.
93- prettydarkhorse
- 3356 posts
- Joined: 3 months ago
- Hubs: 125
- Followers: 325
hi to all, if you have time just read this
http://hubpages.com/hub/Tips-on-how-to- … ile-online
90- Helen Cater
- 878 posts
- Joined: 4 months ago
- Hubs: 46
- Followers: 289
Prettydarkhorse I just read it and it is good.
92- poetlorraine
- 1247 posts
- Joined: 3 months ago
- Hubs: 76
- Followers: 367
Pearldiver wrote:
Forget the Profile... It's more about....
1) Her Eyes
2) Her Smile
3) Her Humour
4) Her Confidence
5) Her Eyes
But don't quote me.... because the above can get you into all sorts of trouble
so her eyes, you would like two sets
- 90
- Helen Cater
- 878 posts
- Joined: 4 months ago
- Hubs: 46
- Followers: 289
poetlorraine wrote:
Pearldiver wrote:
Forget the Profile... It's more about....
1) Her Eyes
2) Her Smile
3) Her Humour
4) Her Confidence
5) Her Eyes
But don't quote me.... because the above can get you into all sorts of trouble
so her eyes, you would like two sets
Maybe some teeth to go with the smile.
Here are a few samples:
http://washingtoncitypaper.selectaltern … d%3A133522
And some from the UK
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ … rsonal-ads
David's favourite ads
I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man
If intense, post-fight sex scares you, I'm not the woman for you (amateur big-boned cage wrestler, 62). Box no. 8744.
My last seven adverts in this column were influenced by the early catalogue of Krautrock band, Paternoster. This one, however, is based entirely around the work of Gil Scott-Heron. Man, 32. Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you've been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. Hey! Have you ever heard Boards of Canada? They're amazing; I'll burn you a CD. Box no. 3178.
Meet the new face of indoor bowling! More or less the same as the old face, but less facial hair and better teeth. M, 28. Box no. 3377.
The celebrity I resemble the most is Potsie from Happy Days. What feels so right can't be wrong. Man, 46. Box no. 2480.
Mentally, I'm a size eight. Compulsive-eating F, 52, WLTM man to 25 for whom the phrase 'beauty is only skin-deep' is both a lifestyle choice and a religious ethos. Box no. 5115.
I vacillate wildly between a number of archetypes including, but not limited to, Muriel Spark witticism-trading doyenne, Mariella Frostrup charismatic socialite, brooding, intense Marianne Faithful visionary, and kleptomaniac Germaine Greer amateur upholsterer and ladies' league darts champion. Woman, 43. Everything I just said was a lie. Apart from the bit about darts. And kleptomania. Great tits though. Box no. 2236.
Philanthropy is my middle name. It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free rides. You can call me Mr Wallace. My first name is none of your business. Applications to box no. 9741.
I have a mug that says 'World's Greatest Lover'. I think that's my referees covered. How about you? Man. 37. Bishopsgate. Box no. 8763
If clumsy, unfeeling lust is your bag, write to the ad above. Otherwise write to me, mid-forties M with boy next door looks, man from U.N.C.L.E. charm, and Fresh Prince of Bel Air casual insouciance. Wikky wikky wick yo. Box no. 2851.
All humans are 99.9% genetically identical, so don't even think of ending any potential relationship begun here with 'I just don't think we have enough in common'. Science has long since proven that I am the man for you (41, likes to be referred to as 'Wing Commander' in the bedroom). Box no. 3501.
Normally on the first few dates I borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am. With you, however, I'm going to be a belligerent old s**t from the very beginning. That's because I like you and feel ready to give you honesty. Belligerent old s**t (M, 53). Box no. 6378.
They call me Mr Boombastic. You can call me Monty. My real name, however, is Quentin. But only Mother uses that. And Nanny. Monty is fine, though. Anything but Peg Leg (Shrewsbury Prep, 1956, 'Please don't make me do cross-country, sir'). Box no. 0473.
All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you. And a five-door saloon (fully air-con). And minimum income of £55K per annum. And two holidays a year (Latin America plus one other of my choosing). If you can meet these requirements, apply to 'Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions' (37), box no. 3685.
You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, have the looks of Herve Villechaize and an odour of wheat. No returns and no refunds at box no. 3321.
If I could be anywhere in time right now it would be 17 December 1972. I have my reasons. Man, 57. Box no. 1553.
The usual hyperbole infuses this ad with a whiff of playful narcissism and Falstaffian bathos. But scratch below the surface and you'll soon find that I really am the greatest man ever to have lived. Truly great man, 37. Better than Elvis and Gandhi. You'll never be a genuinely worthy partner, but try anyway by first replying to box no. 7637. Include a full list of qualifications, your aspirations, and a full frontal nude body shot.
When not in my London city office overseeing the day-to-day business of my successful accountancy firm, I can be found leaning inside taxi cabs, spitting wild obscenities and challenging the drivers to fisticuffs. M, 47. We take the direct route home, we don't stop at Belisha beacons and we never - and I mean never - leave the impudence of a box junction unquestioned. Don't expect a tip from box no. 9091.
OMG! This magazine is the shizz. Seriously, dudes. Awesome! LOL! Classics lecturer (M, 48). Possibly out of his depth with today's youth. KTHX! Box no. 2680.
Google-search this: 'Inherited wealth real estate Bentley' - that's me, result 63 of 275. It'll take 0.21 seconds to find me online, but an eternity of heartache in real life. Save time now by writing to box no. 4511, or by just giving up. Mother says you'll never be good enough for me anyway. And you carry the odour of your class.
We've all made mistakes. Mine was a cerise pump during London Fashion Week 2004. Style troubadour, (M, 35). WLTM similar, or appropriately dour fag hag. Box no. 8643.
The toughest decision I ever had to make was choosing between soup and fish in a Brighton café in 1987 (I went for the fish, though later regretted my decision when I discovered the cod had been over-seasoned). Now, however, I'll have to pick one of you delicious women. The selection procedure will involve a four-part interview, along with an aptitude test and multiple-choice questionnaire. Apply now for full details to stupid man, 45. Box no. 6821.
Remember when all this was open fields, and you could go out and leave your door unlocked? Woman, 24. Inherited her mother's unreasonable and utterly unfounded nostalgia (and her father's hirsute back). WLTM barber with fondness for Sherbet Dib-Dabs and Parma Violets. Box no. 8486.
God appeared to me in a dream last night and spoke your name in my ear. He gave me the winning lottery numbers, too, though, so you can understand where my priorities lay when I raced to grab a notebook and pen. Man, 37, living on hope and the next seven weeks' bonus balls seeks woman whose first name begins with S, or maybe F, and rhymes with chicken, and has a surname that's either a place in Shropshire or the title of a 1979 Earth, Wind and Fire track. Shicken Boogiewonderland, I know you're reading this. Write now to box no. 5729.- 93
- prettydarkhorse
- 3356 posts
- Joined: 3 months ago
- Hubs: 125
- Followers: 325
Helen Cater wrote:
Prettydarkhorse I just read it and it is good.
thanks Helen! good day to all
Lindsay Lohan's Personal Ad:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop … -2.7m.htmlHere's a creative one:
Handle: Dianedemonium
Hompage:
Gender: Female
Age: 35-44
Region:
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Interest: Seeking Men
Message: Variety is the spice of life, is it not? With me, Diane, you'll have a free-range realm of role play! Intelligence sets me apart, creativity will keep you coming back! What do you choose today? Your Secretary to take Dick-tation and De-Brief you? What about your most beloved Mommy, who knows that the way to your heart is a soft, warm, lactating breast and a clean, powdered bottom? Maybe you're in the mood for a beautiful but husband-neglected neighborhood Milf, who hires you to do the
Date Posted:
May 21, 2009Here's one that caught my eye:
From today's Craig's List
It's Halloween weekend
And you're all alone
You don't have a honey
To talk to on the phone
I'm right there with you
I don't have a man
My friend's said "Try Craigslist!"
Guess it's my new plan
I'm looking for someone
With whom to have fun
You don't need to be perfect
Just far from hum drum
Please be under age forty
And legal to drink
You must work and be mobile
With no time in the clink
I have much to offender
I'm cute, smart and cool
I've got a career
And my own place too
I'm so open minded
Race isn't a factor
As long as you're honest
I'll see through an actor
Fear not, I'm no porn spam
This took too much work
So shoot me an email
If you're not a jerk
Please send me your photo
And I'll give you mine
You won't be disappointed
'Cause I look just fine
If you're looking for ass
Or you smoke and do drugs
Please don't waste my time
I don't deal with thugs
This posting won't last long
I'll take it down quick
So send me an email
With no pics of your dick
I'll be patiently waiting
For your witty reply
Let go of your doubts
And give Craigslist a try!
92- lyricsingray
- 8445 posts
- Joined: 7 months ago
- Hubs: 78
- Followers: 439
cash flow? lol lol
Personal Ad Dictionary
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish............................................... .....49.
> > >
> > > Adventurous...................Slept with everyone.
> > >
> > > Athletic......................................No breasts.
> > >
> > > Average looking................................Moooo.
> > >
> > > Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
> > >
> > > Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
> > >
> > > Feminist.......................................... ....Fat.
> > >
> > > Free spirit.........................................Jun kie.
> > >
> > > Friendship first............................Former slut.
> > >
> > > New-Age..........Body hair in the wrong places.
> > >
> > > Old-fashioned....................................No BJs.
> > >
> > > Open-minded.................................Desperate.
> > >
> > > Outgoing....................Loud and Embarrassing.
> > >
> > > Professional...................................... ...Bitch.
> > >
> > > Voluptuous.......................................V ery Fat.
> > >
> > > Large frame...................................Hugely Fat.
> > >
> > > Wants Soul mate................................Stalker.
> > >
> > >
> > > WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. Yes = No
> > >
> > > 2. No = Yes
> > >
> > > 3. Maybe = No
> > >
> > > 4. We need = I want.
> > >
> > > 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
> > >
> > > 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
> > >
> > > 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not.
> > >
> > > 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
> > >
> > > 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you
> moron!
> > >
> > > 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you
> ever think about?
> > >
> > >
> > > MEN'S ENGLISH:
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
> > >
> > > 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
> > >
> > > 3. I am tired = I am tired.
> > >
> > > 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> > >
> > > 5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
> > >
> > > 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> > >
> > > 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with
> you.
> > >
> > > 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex
> with you.
> > >
> > > 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have
> sex with you.
> > >
> > > 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have
> sex with you.
> > >
> > > 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm
> gay.
__________________
There is nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home
85- Jonathan Janco
- 474 posts
- Joined: 4 months ago
- Hubs: 18
- Followers: 43
I have so many nightmare situations with dating sites that I have a hard time believing any of them are not scams. Furthermore, I can't really take someone seriously unless I meet them face to face.
95- Lita Sorensen
- 4846 posts
- Joined: 15 months ago
- Hubs: 86
- Followers: 467
Manly Man wrote:
Here are a few samples:
http://washingtoncitypaper.selectaltern … d%3A133522
And some from the UK
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ … rsonal-ads
David's favourite ads
I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man
If intense, post-fight sex scares you, I'm not the woman for you (amateur big-boned cage wrestler, 62). Box no. 8744.
My last seven adverts in this column were influenced by the early catalogue of Krautrock band, Paternoster. This one, however, is based entirely around the work of Gil Scott-Heron. Man, 32. Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you've been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. Hey! Have you ever heard Boards of Canada? They're amazing; I'll burn you a CD. Box no. 3178.
Meet the new face of indoor bowling! More or less the same as the old face, but less facial hair and better teeth. M, 28. Box no. 3377.
The celebrity I resemble the most is Potsie from Happy Days. What feels so right can't be wrong. Man, 46. Box no. 2480.
Mentally, I'm a size eight. Compulsive-eating F, 52, WLTM man to 25 for whom the phrase 'beauty is only skin-deep' is both a lifestyle choice and a religious ethos. Box no. 5115.
I vacillate wildly between a number of archetypes including, but not limited to, Muriel Spark witticism-trading doyenne, Mariella Frostrup charismatic socialite, brooding, intense Marianne Faithful visionary, and kleptomaniac Germaine Greer amateur upholsterer and ladies' league darts champion. Woman, 43. Everything I just said was a lie. Apart from the bit about darts. And kleptomania. Great tits though. Box no. 2236.
Philanthropy is my middle name. It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free rides. You can call me Mr Wallace. My first name is none of your business. Applications to box no. 9741.
I have a mug that says 'World's Greatest Lover'. I think that's my referees covered. How about you? Man. 37. Bishopsgate. Box no. 8763
If clumsy, unfeeling lust is your bag, write to the ad above. Otherwise write to me, mid-forties M with boy next door looks, man from U.N.C.L.E. charm, and Fresh Prince of Bel Air casual insouciance. Wikky wikky wick yo. Box no. 2851.
All humans are 99.9% genetically identical, so don't even think of ending any potential relationship begun here with 'I just don't think we have enough in common'. Science has long since proven that I am the man for you (41, likes to be referred to as 'Wing Commander' in the bedroom). Box no. 3501.
Normally on the first few dates I borrow mannerisms from the more interesting people I know and very often steal phrases and anecdotes from them along with concepts and ideas from obscure yet wittily-written books. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am. With you, however, I'm going to be a belligerent old s**t from the very beginning. That's because I like you and feel ready to give you honesty. Belligerent old s**t (M, 53). Box no. 6378.
They call me Mr Boombastic. You can call me Monty. My real name, however, is Quentin. But only Mother uses that. And Nanny. Monty is fine, though. Anything but Peg Leg (Shrewsbury Prep, 1956, 'Please don't make me do cross-country, sir'). Box no. 0473.
All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you. And a five-door saloon (fully air-con). And minimum income of £55K per annum. And two holidays a year (Latin America plus one other of my choosing). If you can meet these requirements, apply to 'Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions' (37), box no. 3685.
You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, have the looks of Herve Villechaize and an odour of wheat. No returns and no refunds at box no. 3321.
If I could be anywhere in time right now it would be 17 December 1972. I have my reasons. Man, 57. Box no. 1553.
The usual hyperbole infuses this ad with a whiff of playful narcissism and Falstaffian bathos. But scratch below the surface and you'll soon find that I really am the greatest man ever to have lived. Truly great man, 37. Better than Elvis and Gandhi. You'll never be a genuinely worthy partner, but try anyway by first replying to box no. 7637. Include a full list of qualifications, your aspirations, and a full frontal nude body shot.
When not in my London city office overseeing the day-to-day business of my successful accountancy firm, I can be found leaning inside taxi cabs, spitting wild obscenities and challenging the drivers to fisticuffs. M, 47. We take the direct route home, we don't stop at Belisha beacons and we never - and I mean never - leave the impudence of a box junction unquestioned. Don't expect a tip from box no. 9091.
OMG! This magazine is the shizz. Seriously, dudes. Awesome! LOL! Classics lecturer (M, 48). Possibly out of his depth with today's youth. KTHX! Box no. 2680.
Google-search this: 'Inherited wealth real estate Bentley' - that's me, result 63 of 275. It'll take 0.21 seconds to find me online, but an eternity of heartache in real life. Save time now by writing to box no. 4511, or by just giving up. Mother says you'll never be good enough for me anyway. And you carry the odour of your class.
We've all made mistakes. Mine was a cerise pump during London Fashion Week 2004. Style troubadour, (M, 35). WLTM similar, or appropriately dour fag hag. Box no. 8643.
The toughest decision I ever had to make was choosing between soup and fish in a Brighton café in 1987 (I went for the fish, though later regretted my decision when I discovered the cod had been over-seasoned). Now, however, I'll have to pick one of you delicious women. The selection procedure will involve a four-part interview, along with an aptitude test and multiple-choice questionnaire. Apply now for full details to stupid man, 45. Box no. 6821.
Remember when all this was open fields, and you could go out and leave your door unlocked? Woman, 24. Inherited her mother's unreasonable and utterly unfounded nostalgia (and her father's hirsute back). WLTM barber with fondness for Sherbet Dib-Dabs and Parma Violets. Box no. 8486.
God appeared to me in a dream last night and spoke your name in my ear. He gave me the winning lottery numbers, too, though, so you can understand where my priorities lay when I raced to grab a notebook and pen. Man, 37, living on hope and the next seven weeks' bonus balls seeks woman whose first name begins with S, or maybe F, and rhymes with chicken, and has a surname that's either a place in Shropshire or the title of a 1979 Earth, Wind and Fire track. Shicken Boogiewonderland, I know you're reading this. Write now to box no. 5729.
Wow.
If I am ever single again, remind me never, ever, ever to seek dating material from the UK. (Brits, now don't take offense! Sorry to Sufi and Londongirl, lol.) I suppose these missives are supposed to be witty, but they come off as kinda scary crazy.
- 93
- prettydarkhorse
- 3356 posts
- Joined: 3 months ago
- Hubs: 125
- Followers: 325
Manly Man wrote:
Personal Ad Dictionary
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish............................................... .....49.
> > >
> > > Adventurous...................Slept with everyone.
> > >
> > > Athletic......................................No breasts.
> > >
> > > Average looking................................Moooo.
> > >
> > > Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
> > >
> > > Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
> > >
> > > Feminist.......................................... ....Fat.
> > >
> > > Free spirit.........................................Jun kie.
> > >
> > > Friendship first............................Former slut.
> > >
> > > New-Age..........Body hair in the wrong places.
> > >
> > > Old-fashioned....................................No BJs.
> > >
> > > Open-minded.................................Desperate.
> > >
> > > Outgoing....................Loud and Embarrassing.
> > >
> > > Professional...................................... ...Bitch.
> > >
> > > Voluptuous.......................................V ery Fat.
> > >
> > > Large frame...................................Hugely Fat.
> > >
> > > Wants Soul mate................................Stalker.
> > >
> > >
> > > WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. Yes = No
> > >
> > > 2. No = Yes
> > >
> > > 3. Maybe = No
> > >
> > > 4. We need = I want.
> > >
> > > 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
> > >
> > > 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
> > >
> > > 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not.
> > >
> > > 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
> > >
> > > 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you
> moron!
> > >
> > > 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you
> ever think about?
> > >
> > >
> > > MEN'S ENGLISH:
> > >
> > >
> > > 1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
> > >
> > > 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
> > >
> > > 3. I am tired = I am tired.
> > >
> > > 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> > >
> > > 5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
> > >
> > > 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> > >
> > > 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with
> you.
> > >
> > > 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex
> with you.
> > >
> > > 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have
> sex with you.
> > >
> > > 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have
> sex with you.
> > >
> > > 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm
> gay.
__________________
There is nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back homeLOLOLOLOL< these are funny, thanks for making my day, you make me smile!!!
=) 
=| 
=( 
=D 
:O 
:/ 
:P 
:lol: 
:mad: 
:rolleyes: 
:cool: 
