My Super Power
No one believed me.
I was about eight years old
when my mother sent me
to the shop to buy sugar.
When I returned home
I told my mother there wasn't any.
She didn't believe me.
Annoyed, she pulled on her
clothes to go up the road
to the shop to buy sugar..
There wasn't any sugar.
There was no sugar in a
sugar producing country,
where one is more focused
on the colour and quantity
of the sugar.
For there to be no sugar is remarkable. But there was no sugar.
Now you would think that after this event she wouldn't doubt me. She would, at least,
give me a 50% chance of telling the truth.
For some reason she and just about everyone in the known universe has never
believed me. No matter what it is, whether I say it, write it, or dance it, no one
At the age of eight, I looked back on my life.
Considering I wasn't very coherent before the age of two, and that during the next
six years, I hadn't done much lying, I couldn't understand why no one believed me.
It was not a long reflection, considering my age.
I felt sad that no one believed me.
This lasted about 45 seconds.
Then, it dawned on me that I could get away with just about anything.
All I had to do was tell the truth.
Moving into other realms
At school, I'd be with a few kids and we'd be doing one of the many
Thou Shalt Nots.
When the teacher caught us and asked, "Who did that?"
I would immediately say, "I did."
The teacher would flick her hand, in the manner of , 'don't waste my time', and turn to
another kid and berate him.
As I got older I caught the connections between various mental constructs.
If people don't believe you, they often do the opposite of what you say.
If you say the road to St. Thomas is blocked, they will go in that direction.
If you note a particular employee is ripping them off, they will defend that one with
The 'anti' policy fills the lives of others so that anything you want to discredit, you support. Anything you don't want to do, volunteer.
If there was a task to be done, and I exuberantly volunteered, someone else would
immediately step in and take charge of it.
You're beginning to see the power?
For some reason, maybe how I look, or talk, people automatically assume I am a deceiver. It doesn't matter what it is, what I do, people just feel they can't trust me.
This means I can pretty much get people to do things they never had any intention of doing.
How? As I said before, I Volunteer.
I see a task, something not so wonderful, like going through the documents
of a woman who died last month, and offer to do it.
I offer with my bright eyed bushy tailed expression.
Now the person I'm speaking to looks at me.
(Remember, no one believes me). He looks at me and thinks...
"There must be some ulterior motive...why would she volunteer
to do this unless there was something she expects to get?"
And guess what?
He's doing it.
He even drags his wife to help him.
And they sit all day, going through all that stuff, coughing with the dust...
and no one asks me..."Would you like to help?"
No one can say that I didn't offer, no one can complain when they waste
two days of their lives doing something that has no enjoyment connected whatsoever.
They may harbour a hatred for me in their heart, but they never liked me anyway.
For me, it's a win/win.
When the police stop me for going through a red light they usually fall right into the 'trap.'
"Did You Go Through the Red Light?" they ask.
"Yes." I reply.
This gets them so confused they jump into their car and ride off.
When someone puffed up, angry, teeth clenched confronts me; "Did you smoke that cigarette?"
"Yes." I say blankly.
"Oh." Is the response as they deflate as a punctured balloon.
Unlike others who try to lie their way out of trouble, I truth my way out.
Since no one believes me they always assume there is 'something else' ,
some sort of trick or motive and they're just too smart to fall for.
As I say, it's a Superpower.
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