Ren & Stimpy's Crazy Cannon Free Online Game
Ren & Stimpy are much loved cartoon characters known for their intrepid attitudes, their can do outlook on life and their total disregard for life and limb. When you play Ren & Stimpy's Crazy Cannon game, you'll get to make Ren fire Stimpy out of a cannon.
This is an online trajectory game in the tradition of many such online trajectory games. The fun in this one comes not from fancy upgrade trees (which invariably result in Mochi Games begging you to buy tokens so you can cheat in an online casual game.) No, instead the fun comes in good old fashioned schadenfreude, and the intense desire to out-do one's previous performances.
Gameplay is simple. The traditional fluctuating power bar fluctuates away and it is your job to press the space bar when you believe it is absolutely full. Ren will then fire the cannon and Stimpy will be propelled into the stratosphere, where he can be briefly boosted by the power of his own flatus. You can use your boosts by pressing the space bar. If you have a particularly good flight, you may be awarded extra boosts, which further increase your distance and therefore, your worth as a human being.
This then, is a game of skill. It is a game of timing. It is a game of perseverance. It is a game of farts.
Graphically, the game is most excellent. It conforms to the expected cartoon style and one could almost believe that this is actually a legal use of the Ren and Stimpy characters (which it may be, I don't know, maybe the powers that be have gone in to webgames, it's certainly possible. It's what I'd do if I were a cartoon executive, in between daily trips to Universal Studios and swimming in vats of ice cream.)
Audio wise, there are a few classic Ren and Stimpy moments that I will not spoil for you, because you should experience them for yourself, and feel the thrilling thrills of joy that come with being berated by a blocky cartoon cat.
If I had to offer you a few pointers, I would offer the following.
1. Don't assume that full power is the best amount of power. (It is, but don't assume that.)
2. Use your farts wisely, before the apex of the parabola. If none of that made sense, you need to pay more attention in math class. To put it more simply, use your boosters before Stimpy hits the highest point of his journey. Using them after this point will only end in bitter disappointment and quite possibly an existential crisis.
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