Stuffed onto the shelves of the toy aisles, looking sad and despondent, they sucker you in with their big, innocent eyes, silently begging to be rescued from their retail prison. Once you pay for their freedom and take them home, they charm you with their helplessness. Because they don’t understand anything, they have to be taught how to communicate. Slowly, through patience and continual interaction, they learn your language and things are good. It all seems like innocent fun until one day, suddenly; they become over-bearing and demanding, like some mother-in-laws. They have transformed into something reminiscent of the mischievous creatures from the 80’s movie “Gremlins” and it’s sitting on your desk. Brace yourselves, yes, the Furby is back and destine to be this year’s hottest toy for Christmas.
History of the Furby
The first wave of the Furby wave was thrust upon the masses during the 1998 holiday season as the must have toy for every good little boy and girl on Santa’s list. (I was so good, I got two of them.) The original invasion lasted a full two years and slowly, the human population woke from the Furby induced craze.
However, in 2005 through to 2007, the Furby horde had managed to rebuild their ranks. They again plotted to entrench themselves into every household on the planet with their new and improved complex facial movements and enhanced voice-recognition system. (I was lucky to have been passed over by the evil mind control of the Furbies during this attack.) Humans fell under their trance and scarfed up the “Emoto-Tronic” Furbies which included: the Furby, the Furby Baby, and the Funky Furby.
The Pending Furby Invasion
It was leaked from Furby Command on April 12, 2012, that the newest invasion is to take place during the holiday season of 2012, just in time to separate happy shoppers from their hard earned green backs and at suggested retail price of a mere $60. (Hm…a tank of gas or a member of the furry menace…let me think on that one for a wee bit.) Intelligence agencies and undercover spies have confirmed that, although it will somewhat resemble the original Furby, it will have a much wider range of motion (all the better to steal the remote from you with!), feature LCD eyes that are more expressive (all the better to stare at you with!), and have its own iOS application to make interacting with it easier (all the better to use its mind control with!).
According to Wal-Mart, the self-proclaimed ‘Furby Headquarters,’ “With a mind of its own, your new Hasbro FURBY will develop its personality based on how you play with it. It will dance to your favorite songs. Put it in a room with a few of its friends and they'll interact with each other in all sorts of hilarious ways while speaking either English or the special FURBY language, FURBISH.”
The Fuzzy Conclusion
As it learns how to behave depending on how you interact with it, it scares me to think of all the little hellions that will unleash their fury upon an innocent soldier Furby because they didn’t get the LeapPad 2 they really wanted for Christmas. This well may be the Apocalypse as foreseen by Nostradamus. And as this newest version has no off switch, the human race will soon face all-out war to silence the furry marauders.
In case Santa Claus is reading:
- A Letter To Santa Claus - Happy Holidays
This is not your ordinary letter to Santa and his many helpers.
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