Superman 64 for Nintendo 64 – Worst Video Games Ever

What a Waste of Time!

I don’t want to waste your time with the foul puke pile that is Superman 64 on the Nintendo 64. It’s pretty much one of the worst video games ever created – if you can even call it a video game at all. It’s more like an insanity test. Instead of actually playing Superman 64, you could just go down to the center of town and ask a homeless person to urinate on you. It’s virtually the same thing. It definitely smells the same.

Instead of Playing This Game, You Might Try Getting Drunk and Passing out in Your Own Urine. Do It in Some Random Alleyway Downtown. At Least You'de Be Doing Something Constructive with Your Time.
Instead of Playing This Game, You Might Try Getting Drunk and Passing out in Your Own Urine. Do It in Some Random Alleyway Downtown. At Least You'de Be Doing Something Constructive with Your Time.

The whole point of the game is to fly through rings and then throw cars around. The message that tells you to throw cars around only lasts for about half a second, though. So mostly the whole point of the game is to just play the first level of rings until you take the game out and step on it repeatedly. It’s seriously not ever worth playing. Seriously…

You don’t actually have to fly through the rings. If you watched the AVGN video and think they are mandatory, it’s not entirely true. There is an easy mode with no rings, I believe. I’m not going to put this game into my N64 and check, though. Hell no. In that mode it just points you on where to go to get to the various zones and challenges.

The controls are bad, the music is all stock nonsense, and the rings just never, ever seem to stop. The designers clearly didn’t know what the hell they were doing, because some villains shoot at Superman and actually hurt him. I think it’s already been well established for MANY decades that bullets don’t hurt Superman.

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If You Want to Sit around and Watch Someone Fly through Rings for 2 Hours, Here Is A "Speed" Run of Superman 64 for the Nintendo 64. It's Really Exciting.

Hey Remember That Time When Superman Punched the Crap out of a Giant Crab? Yeah, I Don't Either. Notice the Brilliant Room Design in This Game. It Looks Really Good.
Hey Remember That Time When Superman Punched the Crap out of a Giant Crab? Yeah, I Don't Either. Notice the Brilliant Room Design in This Game. It Looks Really Good.

So, Does Anything Ever Happen?

But those of you that have seen the AVGN review might be asking yourselves – does anything ever happen in this game? Surely the makers put something interesting in there somewhere.

You might be surprised to find out that there are various bosses in the game, and that it does eventually resemble a Superman game.

So in fact, stuff does begin to happen in the game eventually aside from cars and rings. But the designers constantly had to put rings in there. You literally have to fly around in rings for about 20 minutes (those stupid little quests between rings barely count) before the game really starts. Eventually, you end up at Lexcorp and head into the building. There, you fight your way through the building and up to a boss battle. It doesn’t last long, and you can glitch through most of it if you want Check out how epic the boss battles are in the video here:

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The Most Epic Boss Battle in a Video Game Ever

Buy a Superman T-Shirt Right Now. How Come You Don't Own One of These? You're Silly.

Ugh. Suckage.

In fact, you can glitch through a lot of the actual game part of the game. You know, the parts that aren't rings. Superman 64 is extremely poorly coded.

Some gamers actually like this game for the mere reason that they can run around finding all sorts of weird glitches in it. I can’t believe that anyone would want to sit around playing through this just to look for glitches on an N64 – they probably save state on emulators and poke around. So during the actual console days, there was no reason to love this. It takes like 20 minutes just to get to the first “level” – and each level area (zone?) is separated by a million rings to go through. It sucks.

The game sucks. A lot.

Is Superman the Worst Game of All Time? Would You Rather Pick up Dog Turds at the Park than Play It?

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