12 Steps to Live With No Regrets

The nature of being human lends itself to the making of mistakes. Of course you can just as easily look at mistakes as learning lessons, rather than total blunders.

People all over the world are walking around with heavy regret, even when they're not conscious of it. Just think back to a time when you did something you felt bad about or even dreamt a dream you didn't think you could achieve - or never tried reaching for. Doesn't feel so good? Regret has a powerful pull and you do not have to live with it. When you choose to live life deliberately you free yourself from regrets!

To live without regret does not mean you aren't responsible - it's exactly the opposite.

12 Steps to Live With No Regrets

  1. Choose to take full responsibility for your life. While you may not be able to determine every single aspect, you absolutely do choose how you experience your life. The power of choice, or free will, is one that each one of us has and it is empowering to realize that and put it to use!
  2. Decide what you want. People who allow themselves to dream and define what they want have a much better chance of getting it and they benefit from simply dreaming as well.
  3. Take action in your life. Move towards your goals and do what feels good! Even if it's a bit sideways from your destination, you can learn from it so give it a try. Make your dreams real. :o)
  4. Apologize and mean it. People need to know that you are sorry. In one quick step you admit you did something harmful and the other person is validated for the feelings they have. Then move on to the next step.
  5. Find the light of forgiveness. Many people harbor resentment against God, others, and themselves. When you choose to forgive you are releasing the disempowering negative feelings in exchange for a light, powerful feeling of freedom. Hint: Start by forgiving yourself.
  6. Notice your thoughts. You are who you are with all day! You can choose what you think. Simply notice how you feel when you think that you're not good enough, thin enough, whatever enough. Now think about a strength you have. Feels better? You can modify your thoughts to reflect a nicer reality. "Even though I am not feeling well I look forward to a time when I feel better."
  7. Practice presence: go beneath your thoughts. There's a place within each human being that is peaceful, loving, and kind. Really. Some may never find it, but it's there. Bring your attention into the present moment - right now, right here, sit quietly, focus on your breath coming in and out of your body - really feel it, then bring your attention into your hands and feel the energy that exists inside of you. Do that with each part of your body. Who are you beneath your thoughts? Take the time to find out and you'll realize that thoughts are just a product of experience and you have the power, again, to choose and change them.
  8. Honor your emotions. If you feel bad, something's up. Either you're thinking something that simply isn't true (check out Byron Katie's The Work if you'd like a simple 4 part exercise to test this), or you have something you need to tend to. Either way - your emotions are part of you and they are telling you something - in every moment. Feel them, breathe when you're upset, and notice the thoughts that accompany so you can identify thinking that you'd like to liberate yourself from.
  9. Increase trust and faith. Of course the two are one in the same, I suppose. Either way, life has a process and if you trust it, you win. You get to release the tight reins you have on controlling your life and you get to allow it to unfold in a way that feels better. No regrets, remember? Well, right now would you regret being anal? If so, just say to yourself "I am learning to trust the process."
  10. Cultivate appreciation. The old saying 'Count Your Blessings' works. Try it right now. Think of 5 things you are truly grateful for. Feel good? Absolutely. The more you do it, the more you will find you have very little not to appreciate. Then what will you do?
  11. Savor joy. It isn't going anywhere. It doesn't mean something is too good to be true. And you don't have to be suspicious if you feel good. Let yourself feel good, happy, exuberant! Really - it's catchy so do it as often as possible, even if you feel silly.
  12. Love. We are here to love. Do you know any feeling that feels better than complete unconditional love? Love yourself, love others, love the Earth. Spread love. You can do that right now, too. Just go to a mirror and say "I love you. Really. I do, I completely love you." You may just connect with an old friend who really needs your love...

About Rainbow Recognizer

Amy Phoenix is a gentle, yet direct parenting guide and healing facilitator dedicated to sharing insights and practices to transform frustration and anger, heal the past and nurture conscious relationships – to appreciate all aspects of life. Visit her at www.innatewholeness.com.

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Comments 24 comments

Profmaggy profile image

Profmaggy 7 years ago from Boston MA

What a wise hub.

Will keep checking in on what you write.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin

I wish I had known more of this when I was younger - darn those regrets again. Thank you for more words of wisdom.

tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 7 years ago from South Africa

Brilliant Hub - will print it out and read it over and over again - and then I hope I will be able to put the steps into practice in my daily life. I'm already seeing where I could do better!

Thanks for the Hub

Love and peace


RainbowRecognizer profile image

RainbowRecognizer 7 years ago from Midwest Author

Much Love RGraf & Tony! Life is only happening now so if you let yourself release past pain and do what you want to do now - you are making the most of your life :o).

jayb23 profile image

jayb23 7 years ago from India

Amazing Hub. Thumbs Up. I have bookmarked this page for future reference.

Hey By the way my hub " The other side of Subprime Loans" has been chosen as one of the HUBNUGGETS nominees. Click on this link to read more about it. http://hubpages.com/hub/HubNuggets-OverloadedBe sure to vote and ask your friends to vote for my hub! :-). It is only because of readers like you who liked my hub, that helped it to get nominated. Thanks.

Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Okay okay I do have some extra baggages. If I can't totally get rid of them, I might as well let go of some. Thanks for sharing these nuggets of wisdom :D

cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Cape Town

Great advice there!

JeffKinsey profile image

JeffKinsey 7 years ago from Ionosphere

Wow...awesome hub! Great words to live by and realize we can be as free and joyful as we choose to be.

Hammerj profile image

Hammerj 7 years ago from Cebu City

Wow great article...keep posting your article and i will read it..its an interesting topic.

metaphysician profile image

metaphysician 7 years ago

Twelve simple steps but that the essenses of life that most people have missed. Thanks very much for that.

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\Brenda Scully 7 years ago

really well written and very true.......

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Katrina Sui 7 years ago

Great hub with good advices. keep up the good work.

brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 7 years ago from Florida

Very nice - well done!

bbpaula888 profile image

bbpaula888 7 years ago

Loved your hub.

katrinasui profile image

katrinasui 6 years ago

Excellent Hub. Very well written.

emilybee profile image

emilybee 6 years ago

Very nice hub! Thanks for the tips.

Leann Zarah profile image

Leann Zarah 5 years ago

This piece is as beautiful as its heavenly picture. A rainbow multiplies the beauty of the skies. Thanks for creating this hub to share your wisdom about regrets.

Mrs. J. B. profile image

Mrs. J. B. 5 years ago from Southern California

In order to be happy in life you cannot be ashamed of some of the things you did growing up or the choices that you made. Having regrets is being hard on yourself. By understanding what you did and forgiving yourself makes you the person you have become today and helps you to encourage younger people to think carefully about what they are doing.

Bhanu.Jas profile image

Bhanu.Jas 5 years ago from Australia

Great writing.Very well written.You write with depth.

Good luck for future hubs.

I love to read your other hubs and follow you.


Yeshuan profile image

Yeshuan 5 years ago from North Carolina

Excellent hub! Such wisdom stated clearly. These are principles that I strive to live by. Even when I come up short all I have to do is try again. #5 is my favorite. Forgiveness always benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven.

RainbowRecognizer profile image

RainbowRecognizer 5 years ago from Midwest Author

Thanks, everyone! Glad to be of service. :)

sunkentreasure profile image

sunkentreasure 5 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA


You are the architect of your life.

Create your own opportunities

and make things happen.

Set yourself a specific goal

and monitor your progress.

Be of service.

Keep doing things for others

without counting the cost.

Turn your defeats into victories.

Control your environment.

Mix with the kind of

people who inspire you.

Keep your attitude positive

and your health in fine trim.

Let God go before you

in everything you do.

Pray regularly with feeling.

Always be planning

something constantly.

You are the magnet of

your circumstances.

Never give up!

© Bernard Levine

Thundermama profile image

Thundermama 4 years ago from Canada

I'm going to print this out and put it on my mirror. Inspiring and wonderful.

abbaelijah profile image

abbaelijah 3 years ago from Nigeria

This hub is worth reading. Thanks for sharing ....

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