10 Tips for Getting and Staying Sober

Addiction isn't just about drugs

Giving up an addiction-is a fight that will last a lifetime

How to be sober? To many this question is confusing. It can be confusing because some do not understand why a person has no clue as to how to live a sober life. To the ones addicted, living sober is confusing because they do not know how to get to a place where their addiction is not a part of their life. When we are five years old and telling people what we want to be when we grow up- no one ever says; I want to be an Addict-and struggle with my decision everyday of my life from the point I first have a taste of my poison to the day I die. No one ever says; I want to go to rehab and hurt the ones around me that love me. No one ever says; I want to slowly watch myself and my world fall apart until I hit the bottom. Addiction is frightening, because when we are addicts we relinquish control of our lives to our addiction and the addiction does not have our best interests in mind. All our addiction wants is to be fed-and as people, we must learn how to stop, say no and ask for help when we can’t resist the temptations and quit on our own.

Admitting there is a problem is still the first step…

I Need...I Want...I Can Not Help Myself to Say No...
I Need...I Want...I Can Not Help Myself to Say No...
A very funny-but also very true way of thinking for an addict...
A very funny-but also very true way of thinking for an addict...

There are things that a person can do to help them stay Sober-here are 10 Tips, amongst many that can position an addict for recovery.

1. To understand what it takes to accomplish sobriety-you must first understand addiction. Addiction is the constant feeling of needing something such as drugs, alcohol, sex or food to feel whole, to feel normal to feel alive. When an addict gives up their addiction, they often struggle and feel lost which is a large part as to why relapse is common for so many addicts. If you feel this way or think you may have a problem, consider seeking help.

2. When striving to obtain a sober life style and give up an addiction a person must first want to be sober. Realizing that a change is needed or wanted in your life is a very necessary part of the healing process. If the change is not wanted, but forced- sobriety will not be committed to and a person will more than often fall back into their past behavior and their addiction. In life you must fight for something that you need to make life better, and giving up an addiction is a fight that will last a life time.

Say what you feel so you can understand who you are


3. Although giving up and overcoming an addiction is something that must be done alone, it is beneficial to have a support group outside of family. Support Groups for recovering addicts of all sorts are out there. Take advantage of the motivation and understanding that they offer, these are people who have been exactly where you are and can help you cope with the pressures that will be presented to you on a daily bases-they can offer guidance and advice to make your goal of sobriety a reality.

4. Communication is a large part of sobriety. You must communicate to keep yourself from falling into old habits. Don’t be ashamed of your addiction-be proud of what you have overcome and share it with others. As people we all want to know that we are worthy and our lives are not wasted-sometimes sharing our skeletons and helping others can more so motivate us to keep on a straight path.

Do not set yourself up to fail

5. It is sometimes necessary to dissolve unhealthy relationships which were based around your addiction in order to stay sober. People who are in your life that were only there for the purpose of feeding an addiction are toxic additions to your life and add to your every day struggle to maintain sobriety. Distance as much as possible, the people that are the party people from your past, non sober days. They are probably not going to be the most healthy or supportive relationships for you.

6. Be honest with yourself to keep from picking up bad habits once again. When we are honest with ourselves we make our lives simpler. When we are honest we know that we are not Stone and we will have a difficult time resisting temptation, especially when we have just become sober. Don’t go to a bar that serves alcohol if you are an alcoholic. A dishonest alcoholic may try to convince themselves that their presence at the bar is for dancing or socializing. The honesty in this situation is that may be the initial intention of your presence there-but in reality, the temptation that will be presented to you is going to be strong and you may tell yourself you can handle it. Odds are you can not handle it and if you can-why put yourself in that situation to struggle.

What else is wrong- beyond the addiction?

7. People who become addicts usually have other, underlined problems that need to be addressed. Often depression, personality disorders, coping issues and traumatic events which have not been addressed and dealt with fuel a person’s addiction. Counseling in or out of a rehab situation can better ensure that when sobriety is obtained it will be long lived. If you do not deal with the underlined issues and problems which fuel your addiction being sober will be a constant struggle as you try to deal with life's issues.

8. When you have begun to address the underlined issues of your addiction, you must be willing to make changes in your life style and you’re routine. Even when people return from a successful well accepted stay in rehab with tips on how to stay stay sober- temptations brought on by their everyday routine and familiar faces can quickly take them right back down the path they just came from. Remove these routines, and reorganize your life.

It is a long road to travel---be confident you are making the right choices

You got to start somewhere-even if it is on the bottom...
You got to start somewhere-even if it is on the bottom...

Believe in the choice you have made to be sober

9. Don’t rush yourself to overcome everything and begin a new life, especially when it comes to having a new relationship. Relationships are great, but when an addiction is being treated and we are trying to heal-we need to give ourselves time and we need to understand that the simpler things remain for the first year, the easier things will be in the long run. Relationships, even the good ones-are still stressful and can stir up things that may need to rest awhile in order to heal.

10. Finally- believe in yourself and forgive yourself. You must believe that the pain of sobriety is worth the return of life. Don’t allow others to make you feel less for what you have done in the past. The past can not be changed and the only way the future can change is by the change you make with every choice you decide to move forward with. If someone isn’t willing to understand this or help you to believe in yourself and your decision to be sober-consider the very plausible option that they are not in your best interest to be around-and consider letting them go. Believing in yourself and everything that you can overcome and forgiving yourself for a past you can not change is an important hard to accomplish step in accomplishing and staying sober.

Pass it on...

There is no such thing as luck- this is all you and it will take hard work to let go of something that has been comforting and constant in your life. Believe in yourself today, tomorrow and everyday you stay sober---and when you have a chance-believe in someone else who is trying to fight the same fight you are fighting now.

K's Choice- Not an Addict...

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Comments 36 comments

CASE1WORKER profile image

CASE1WORKER 6 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

excellent. I hope your article will give hope and inspiration to both addicts and their families


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

case1worker-

thanks for the comment-you are very quick-I didn't even have the video linked by the time you commented.

I hope so as well- addiction is different yet the same for everyone who suffers- it is an important subject to try and understand in order to do good rather than bad.


DiamondRN profile image

DiamondRN 6 years ago from Charlotte, NC USA

I had an eight-year quitting-smoking battle. After numerous attempts, I was finally successful when I quit for myself.


quicksand profile image

quicksand 6 years ago

Shober? I am always shober ... hic!


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

I've been pretty lucky in that my vices have primarily been Coca-Cola or Pepsi (which does nothing for my weight, but that is another issue). I had a friend who was gripped by alcohol and drug addiction, and he ultimately took his life about six years ago. He was an intelligent man and an extremely talented musician, but he could not conquer the demons. It was sad to see.

Your hub is so valuable and I hope whoever reads your words can take your advice to believe in themselves and position themselves to succeed. It is so important!

Mike


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

diamond RN- smoking can be one of the hardest things to give up---glad you found your strength :) thanks for commenting and for reading


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey Holly, an awesome hub, especially for your 100th hub. Congratulations on making that accomplishment! I have only one addiction in my life and that is I am addicted to life itself. LOL! Thank you very much for sharing. Thumbs UP!


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Quicksand---Admitting you have a problem (through the hick-ups) is the first step... :) LOL, thanks for stopping by-and for the comment :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike- I am so sorry to learn of your friends tragic end- the demons in our lives can be too much for people to handle-to the extent that we have a hard time seeing past the hurt we feel today-to imagine the smiles and laughs that are in our future for tomorrow.

Thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment-as I always do-I appreciate your feedback and perspective :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Cagsil- Thanks sir for reading and commenting. I wouldn’t figure you would have a vice such as addiction- you are much too focused on life for ludicrous nonsense, such as allowing yourself to surrender to some substance or compulsive behavior---except for your addiction of collecting Female Huber’s Avatars-if that can be considered an addiction-lol...thanks again :)


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey Holly, I guess you could look at my collection of avatar pictures as an addiction, as one looking from the outside in. Then, I would say that you might see it like that and just to let you know, since you were so kind to post such a pretty picture of yourself, yet again to your profile...I had to take it. I appreciate it very much and will not harm it. LOL! You're quite welcome my dear friend.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Holly, you are a miracle! This hub is the work of a truly remarkable woman whose words resonate deeply. Have you seen the book "Emotional Sobriety"? It's one I keep nearby, since that's the hardest part of my journey-so far. Thank you so much for this.

Laurel


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Cagsil---LOL, that is what addicts say---"it's different looking in-than it is living it"... At least you admit it. Thanks again Cagsil :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Lorlie,

Ma’am---you are far too kind. Thanks for taking a look at this hub. As you know you along with Kim and a few others are people that I have been able to pull strength from to keep on going when things are a struggle in life. I have not read that book…but I will have to look into it, I am sure that there are days where I could use such inspirational advice :)


kimberlyslyrics 6 years ago

Absolutely Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try please please and send a link to mighty mom OK?

thanks tons for a fabulous 100th hub that you shared wih us.

ps- cags lies constantly

pps- had an ide to team up on a hub, completely different, i'll email you when i settle a bit

congrats again

be happy


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Congratulations on your 100th hub and what a very appropriate hub to write on Addictions. I have known in my lifetime a few friends who were addicted to various things, some couldn't stay out of prison, some had bouts with drugs and booze, and others with depression.

Addictions are awful no matter what they may be. Food and drink just fuel diets after diets and get rich gurus take advantage of the obese, offering up every diet under the sun.

I commend any person who through their own fortitude, strength and advice and guidance from others can help them beat their addictions.

I have had a few of my own demons and afflictions throughout my life and I am still here to talk about them and thank goodness have been healed. peace and hugs to you and keep up great hubbing.


Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

Congratulations on 100 hubs! I hope to be reading many more in the future!

Mike


Faybe Bay profile image

Faybe Bay 6 years ago from Florida

I won't get into addictions, as Hub Pages is my latest, but at least this is a constructive rather than a destructive addiction for me. I am rating you up and bookmarking so I can come back to this one.

Congratulations on 100 Hubs! This is a great one, and will be such a great help for so many.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

kimberly, coming from you ma'am---that is a fantastic as well as greatly appreciated comment. I am so glad that you found it to be a beneficial and truthful piece. Yes-Yes-Yes... when ever/whatever---I would love to join forces and create something fantastic-which comes from both of our minds. Just let me know my dear :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

saddlerider,

thanks for the comment/ I appreciate your feedback and encouragement- addiction is something that captivates and then destroys if you can not find the strength to fight it (which is almost like going into battle with yourself---no matter who wins/ it's gonna hurt)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Mike---awwww, you came back :) Thank you so much much for the congrats... 10 months and 100 hubs (it is funny but it feels like I have written so much more-lol).

Thank you for following me and being amongst my most dedicated and encouraging followers-I so appreciate all your feedback :)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

FB- Thanks so much for book marking, makes me feel good that you liked the content. I know what you mean when you reference HP as an addiction...it is quite easy to get wrapped up with things here and over do it...but you are right-at least it isn't an unhealthy addiction :)


Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 6 years ago from Massachusetts

Nicely done Hub. Number 5 through 8 kind of strike me as the most important. Well wishes to anyone who has struggled with, or is struggling with, addiction.


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

Lisa HW,

Thank you for the compliment and for the comment. Everyone who struggles with their demons of addiction deserves a job well done every day that they wake up and live-and return to bed clean and sober... so many dont realize that this is truly an accomplishment to so many.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Holly,

Well I can clearly, clearly see why Kimberly wanted you to send me a link to this AWESOME hub! Each of us bringing the facts on addiction to light sheds a little more light on this evil, evil disease of addiction.

God bless you for writing with such honesty. All excellent suggestions for anyone looking to live sober...

it's not easy, but it is certainly better than the alternative! MM


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

mighty mom, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on the hub. I am glad that kim told me to send the link :) you are so very correct...it is never easy, but is certainly better than the alternative. thanks again!


nighthag profile image

nighthag 6 years ago from Australia

addiction is like carrying a demon on your back who feeds every negative thought straight to your heart, convincing you the only thing to make the hurt stop is the very thing that will kill you in the long run.

battling with addiction is a lifetime struggle for me, my writing,kids and husband all help keep me sober, but that sneaky demon never gives up.

great hub, thank you


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State Author

nighthag,

calling addiction a demon is so very true. the one thing that will make you feel better is the one thing that is killing you-your future and has put you in this pain in the first place. Everyone has to get sober in their own way and stay that way with their inner strength and whatever strength they manage to pull from others. thanks for reading and commenting on this hub


justfortoday profile image

justfortoday 5 years ago from Brooklyn, NY

great hub :) i will definitely be reading more of your work. 100 hubs is very impressive also. Dedication


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 5 years ago from Lone Star State Author

justfortoday, thank you... I am glad that you found and were able to read and draw value from this hub. Many of the hubs I have written about addiction, mean more to me than most. I truly hope you can find and read some of those as well. By the way, love the screen name 'Justfortoday' very nice :) Thanks again for stopping by :)


lambservant profile image

lambservant 5 years ago from Pacific Northwest

What are your thoughts on the 12 steps of AA?


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 5 years ago from Lone Star State Author

lambservant, I think that the 12 step program is of a benefit to many people...the only issues I see with it is we are depending on God to heal us, to remove character flaws, to give us the strength to overcome the addiction. I hear too many people state, God will save me, yet they do nothing to save themselves. We have the strength within to overcome obstacles and addictions-God did not make us an addict-We defined ourselves as one the moment we lost control and decided to give our faith to the habit. Removing your faith from the habit and placing it back to a higher being is our jobs- depending on God to fix what we broke or caused is not logical, we have to do it. My other issue with the way that the 12 steps are written out is God is mentioned in almost all of the steps. What about the people who do not believe in God? Do they deserve to die from their addictions? I don’t think that is fair. I think they deserve the same chance that believers have to regain control of their lives and live happily sober. Like I said, I think the 12 steps are wonderful and of a great benefit for many...just not for all- but that is just my opinion, hope i did not offend :)...

Thanks for the comment and for taking the time to read. Very good mind provoking question. :)


vince o 4 years ago

this brought me some good tools to staying sober after numerous attemps, even know i just relaps recently


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 4 years ago from Lone Star State Author

vince o, I am sorry to hear that, but what i have found is always positive and the best way to get back on track is to forgive yourself for being human and relapsing... know that you made a mistake, know it cannot happen again, and then move on...sober. Best of luck to you Vince O... I know what you are going through, and I know this journey is not an easy one to take on...you are strong just for knowing you want to walk this path. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. thanks for commenting....


AtobiaPoini 3 years ago

I accustomed to get on top of living however of late We have built up an amount of resistance.


joshB 2 years ago

This page was really helpful. Im only 16 and im thankful that my family has helped me with my huffing addiction. My problem now is the fact that (and im not sure whether this wont happened and its just my naivete) im trying to figure out when its stops being a resistance to temptation and starts becoming a relatively normal lifestyle.

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