15 Reasons Why it Sucks to be Sensitive

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Sometimes, it's nice to be sensitive. Sometimes, it's a gift...

Then there are the other times, those times when you wish you could step out of yourself and become someone else, someone that doesn't feel so much, someone who doesn't fear so much.

Being sensitive to everything does have its perks, but in a world that celebrates extroversion it can also come with a whole host of disadvantages.

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People Don't Get You

We live in a world that promotes and rewards extroversion. Even social media is now rampant with this constant need to be seen, noticed, and in demand.

For us highly sensitive people it is usually the opposite. Though there are times when we enjoy a little attention, for the most part we avoid it.

Why?

Well, simply because very few people are able to comprehend our unique style of interaction and all the peculiarities that come with it.

Such as...

We live in a world that promotes and rewards extroversion.

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Small Talk Drains You

Highly sensitive people only have a limited amount of energy to use as "interaction juice" throughout the day. We hardly want to be spending that precious commodity on talk of the "weather" or some other unimportant detail.

Inevitably, we bump into an exuberant conversationalist who proceeds to suck us dry of vitality until we are yearning for a dark corner in which to hide.

We could promptly bid them adieu and save our energy but we don't. We are too nice.

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Your Energy Levels are Pitiful

While extroverts are energized by contact with people, introverts tend to grow weary the longer we spend around people--especially people who are loud and expressive.

We do thrive when the conversation carries meaning for us, and the person we are with is a close friend or someone calm and peaceful.

It's clearly a byproduct of a nervous system that processes every single detail in our proximity!

We do thrive when the conversation carries meaning for us

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You Get Offended Easily

Perhaps it's because we ourselves don't often tease, criticize or playfully insult others, that causes us react so strongly when faced with a verbal barb of some kind, playful or otherwise.

We overthink everything, and we care deeply for everyone and everything too (unless we become bitter), and so it's uncommon for us to want to put someone else down in any way, shape or form.

Later, we do learn to play the game a little, but nowhere near as well as our less sensitive brethren, and more often than not we'll carry the fallout home with us in our heads, while everyone else sleeps snugly and peacefully.

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You Overthink Everything

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that..." "What if I hurt her feelings?" "Was I wrong to say that?"

We could have said the most innocuous thing, or done something harmless but in our eyes it was enough to cause offence.

The truth is, to those not as sensitive as us, the things we think might offend are nothing more than simple words or actions.

But still we can't stop ourselves from worrying or wondering if we overstepped the mark.

The truth is, to those not as sensitive as us, the things we think might offend are nothing more than simple words or actions.

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You are Haunted by the Past

Again, because of our penchant for overthinking, we cling to the past and constantly replay the scenarios that didn't quite go as planned.

We can't help it. We keep wondering: "Why?" "How could such a thing have happened to me?" "What would my life be like if it hadn't have happened that way?"

Really, we should be reaching out to the future, using our keen sense of intuition to lead us to fruitful and successful lives but we just can't seem to let go of the injustices of the past.

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More Prone to Phobias

This relates to the aforementioned habits.

Because we overthink everything, and because we are easily offended, it is also far easier for us to develop phobias. This is especially true when we are adolescent and still not quite sure of why we are so different, and also lacking role models of the same ilk to which we can aspire to (as there are only 15 - 20% of us in the general population, though it feels like much less at times).

It is only natural that when an animal, or human experiences pain or danger, the subconscious mind takes that experience and creates fear as a form of defense for future reference.

The problem is, as highly sensitive people with nervous systems that feel and notice every little detail, even small things like a raised voice or loud music can cause our subconscious mind to develop a fear that will hold us back for the rest of our lives.

The problem is, as highly sensitive people with nervous systems that feel and notice every little detail

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You are a Narcissist Magnet

Narcissists just love sensitive people. They are drawn to us like moths to a light source in the dark.

We radiate love and compassion, and can't help but want to heal those around us, and make the world a better place.

Narcissists on the other hand, seek only to raise themselves by bringing others down, and for them a highly sensitive person who willingly goes along with their game is the kind of person they could spend the rest of their lives with.

If you end up with one of these types, get out fast before you become bitter and depressed.

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You Wear People's Moods Like a Coat

You could have just spent the morning walking alongside a river, listening to the birds whilst soaking up some sun and feeling like you've finally reached the heights of happiness you always wanted, but then...

You walk into a room and someone is in a foul mood and needing to vent. Within a minute your mood will mirror theirs.

This is our curse. It makes us more empathetic and is even useful when dealing with sad and lonely people, but when it comes to anger or sadness in huge doses, we are likely to spiral into depression.

When that happens, it's time for a dark room and twelve hours of sleep--or more!

You walk into a room and someone is in a foul mood and needing to vent. Within a minute your mood will mirror theirs.

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You Need more Sleep

We all have to work, unfortunately, and usually in jobs we hate. Work itself isn't bad, but for us sensitives, its the exposure to people and their moods and habits that drains us and leaves us exhausted at the end of the day.

Even those of us that don't go out to work need more sleep than most other people.

Our nervous system picks up so much throughout the day that we probably process at least twice as much information as our less sensitive brethren.

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People Take Advantage of You

Even people who aren't narcissistic will end up taking advantage of our meekness. How could they possibly help it when the world we live in is so unbelievably competitive?

For us sensitives, who can't help but naturally wish to nurture and nourish those around us, we are easy pickings for people that realize they can con us for something as small as a coffee, or something as large as a loan.

Even people who aren't narcissistic will end up taking advantage of our meekness.

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Allergies!

Oh the allergies!

You name it, we get it.

For some it's sinus allergies like hay fever or sinusitis, for others it's skin conditions like eczema or hives.

If you are highly sensitive and don't have an allergy then you are rare indeed!

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Easily Distracted

Because we process so much more information, feel much more deeply and are prone to take things personally and so dwell on the past needlessly, we often find it hard to concentrate for very long.

We make wonderful artists and writers, psychologists and teachers, but our attention spans are generally shorter than those of our less sensitive cousins.

That's not to say that we can't practice and become a super powerful concentrator. We just have to work harder at it.

We make wonderful artists and writers, psychologists and teachers, but our attention spans are generally shorter than those of our less sensitive cousins.

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Bear the World's Burdens

We feel deeply. We can't help it. It was this way since most of us can remember and it will probably always be this way.

We read the news and weep at the bombs, shootings, and war on the other side of the world.

We watch a movie and feel the sadness, happiness, fear or anger as if it were our own, and then inevitably end up turning it off because we can't bear it any longer.

Some of us have grown thicker skins, however, and can now bear these things but for most of us we can carry the world's burdens for days on end before we finally let them go.

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Detached from Reality

Sometimes, it feels as if we aren't even part of this reality. It's like we are really from another dimension and only seeing this one from our own through a lens of some sort.

This is probably because we find it hard to integrate, or to mingle. It's especially true when we spend a prolonged length of time away from close friends or family, or someone else who shares our sensitivity.

But then sometimes we feel as much a part of it as anyone else. It comes and goes.

Sometimes, it feels as if we aren't even part of this reality.

Sensitive and Proud

Yes, it is hard, and yes it seems like a long and arduous slog through a world that may never understand us...

BUT

We also come with many, many gifts such as the extreme joy we feel when we see a loving embrace, or a child smile, or walk beside a river, or help someone to heal.

All you have to do is accept it and use it, and most of all, don't blame our less sensitive peeps for not understanding us. After all, we don't understand them either. It goes both ways and with a little exploration and a little work, we can excel at this and find our place in this world.

Go forth my sensitive friends and share the love.

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What do you think? Anything else you can add to this list? 4 comments

quicksand profile image

quicksand 4 months ago

Well nowadays nobody listens to anybody anymore! Although one may get the impression that they are paying attention, they are not.

The sensitive people around have targeted certain areas online that cater to their requirements and their minds are on the next tweet or the next post on their fave social media site.

In reality skins have not thickened. Well that's the way I see it and you can disagree if you want to as I am not the least sensitive! Cheers!


Richawriter profile image

Richawriter 4 months ago from On Top of the World Author

Hey quicksand my friend.

You may be right. I don't disagree with you at all.

And I am extremely sensitive!

Take care my friend.

Richard


louiseelcross profile image

louiseelcross 4 months ago from UK

I enjoyed reading your hub which describes me. I am very sensitive and I really worry about upsetting others. Almost every time I visit a friend which is not that often, for a catch up I usually get home and then want to send a message to the friend to say I hope I have not upset her in any way. I am learning not to keep apologising for being myself. As an empathic person I became a counsellor thinking I could channel my empathy for others but even that wipes me out as I prefer being alone with my own company and writing. Thanks again for an understanding hub of how it feels to be sensitive.


Pamela Mae Oliver profile image

Pamela Mae Oliver 4 months ago from Georgia

Being sensitive can wear you out emotionally. Thank you for the empathetic Hub. I enjoyed reading your insights, and can identify with them.

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